How not to get a job

[beanlet]

Having just advertised a (very) part time admin post I have been inundated by emails from people who have not read the ad properly, and it's taking up most of my working day answering them. Please, people:

If the advertisement says apply using the application form, don't email me your CV; that doesn't constitute applying, and I won't read it.

There's a reason I didn't attach my phone number to the advertisement; don't expect me to be available to talk to you on the telephone.

For god's sake don't send me an email with a naff graphic across the bottom of a hipster crowd-surfing; it gives me the impression you're a waster.

If the adrvertisement says high level of literacy required, don't send me an email in txt spk.

It's usually a good idea not to irritate your potential boss at the first interaction by sending a series of emails that indicate you can't read a basic form and require your potential boss to download something for you that you could easily find yourself.

(rant over)

Any more gems?

xstitch, why would you leave your degree off, and how did it take 16 years?

Tell me about yourself doesn't mean tell me about yourself.

It means 'tell me what it is about you that will be perfect for this job in general terms as we'll deal with the specific details in the later questions'

So you could say 'Well, I'm a hard and motivated worker, I held down 3 jobs whilst studying at uni and still got my coursework in on time. I enjoy travelling and am particularly keen on going to the more challenging areas. Once I had to negotiate my way out of a long queue at the airport in Columbia in order to get my flight. I organise weekends away for a group of friends on a regular basis'

This says 'I work hard. I meet deadlines. I can negotiate. I have good organisational skills. I can rise to a challenge.

So don't say 'My favourite drink is bacardi and coke. I like reading. My friends like me.'

That says nothing about you that brings skills to the role.

Freudian, why do you say you're not likeable? May be you could make yourself more so.

Smile
Look people in the eye
Connect to what they're saying - try to find common ground. If the interviewer is the UK tiddlywinks champion talk about your tiddlywinks days if you have any. They want to hire someone. They dont' want do to 20 interviews with different people. They are not looking for reasons not to hire. They are hoping you'll be the right one.

Try getting a friend (who won't hold back on negative things) to do a mock interview with you or record yourself giving some answers at home on a web cam and play it back. Some people um and ah and can hardly speak and that matters in some roles.

Have confidence but not so much it looks pushy.

have a look at how you dress and the way you speak in case that is holding you back.

For some people sadly part of the answer is reduce from 18 to 9 stone and you might find it easier.

It didn't take 16 years to get my degree stealth. 16 years is the time spent getting my degree + the time spent working in jobs that the particular degree I have is essential. I did post-grad training too while working. I want to leave off my degree because there are no jobs in my area in my field and I am losing out on other jobs for being over qualified. Right now I really regret doing a degree now tbh.

xstitch - do mention your degree, but make sure you explain why you no longer want to work in that field (stressing that you wish to have a career change, not that there's no suitable jobs). Try to turn it to your advantage, ie you've carefully considered this career change.
Although I'm sure you're probably doing all that anyway.

The thing is Harriet I'm not sure they will see it as a career change. I have been applying for jobs as a cleaner etc.

I am 10St and cannot lose that last stone. I had hoped it would help when I lost the 3 stone, it didn't.

To those who say the job centre sometimes make ridiculous requests. I was asked to apply for a minimum wage job in Romford. Now I have nothing against Romford as a place but I live 500miles from there. It would be pretty stupid to go for a job that the commute cost significantly more than I would earn. My friend was offered an interview which clashed with her signing on appointment. She contacted them to change her job centre appointment. She was told that she couldn't do this and would lose her benefits if she didn't attend. She said she would be unable to go to the interview. Guess what she was told if she didn't go to that she would lose her benefits. Thankfully she actually got the job otherwise she would have ended up begging on the street.

xstitch, you could explain in your covering letter that you do further study as your hobby, that you are looking for a job that will fit around x, and that will give you the opportunity for y. If you like, you could imply that the job you are applying for would be perfect to fit in with another course you are looking at.

I really do understand your issue. It is likely that the people selecting for interview will not have degrees themselves and feel threatened. Try to address this in the covering letter, but you mustn't leave it off.

I agree with the be nice to receptionist - actually be nice to any staff you come into contact with when applying for a job. My staff always tell me if someone has been rude or arrogant and it won't help you get a job.

TBH I feel really sorry for some of the people who have applied for jobs more recently. Although you always get those who seem to have no idea of reasonable behaviour; there are lots and lots of really good people out there struggling to get a job.

understand now xstitch, thanks

Eye contact is a good point. How much is ok?

I was actually on a leadership skills course and I asked about this because I hate making eye contact, but I really want to change this. She gave me some good tips on practising but obviously I don't want to go too far and stare at them!

Funnily enough I just found out that the other interviewer (for a job I've applied to and will find out if I am through to interview tomorrow) is someone else that I know. She is head of a committee I'm on... Hopefully she likes me!

Freudian my son (who has Aspergers and hates eye contact) looks at people's noses instead. You can't tell the difference except that one makes him anxious and unable to concentrate, and the other doesn't.

When I write lower case I think it looks awful, I once got told by someone at a job centre scheme to fill out a photocopy of an application form in lower case after I did one in capitals, she took one look at it and said stick the capital letters one, the lower case looks like a five year old did it.

Xenia - Lose 9st in order to get a job? Jeez. Harsh.

Having made it as far as the interview and done reasonably well, do not send the person who interviewed you an email asking for their personal number and including a picture of you naked with your cat!

Freudian, good luck for tomorrow

I once went for an interview which involved a group task. Someone actually said c* in his answer!!! I don't know if he got the job like.

helen ime losing weight doesn't help. It doesn't get you the initial interview obviously unless your weight should now be included on CVs now . Maybe the fact I am so incredibly ugly outweighs the weight I have lost. Surgery would be needed to fix that.

The weight loss suggesting of mine was only if someone were double the weight they ought to be getting back to a normal weight.

How much to look someone in the eye? I think a huge lot of the time. I don't really assess how much I do it but you want to be kind of having them feel empathy with you, make a connection, feel if their and your eyes are smiling as it were.

I agree with the suggestion of recording yourself. I was recorded this morning for something and it does help you see how others see you.

xstitch, on your CV, list all the jobs you do to support your degree studies, grouped together with dates, and explain that these roles were performed whilst you were a part-time/full-time student.

In your covering letters, say that you are very accustomed to hard work, have a strong work ethic, that you have in the past held down several roles at the same time (if this is true). If the money for those was crap, say 'The money wasn't the best, but I got a lot of job satisfaction from doing x, and it'd be great to be doing something similar again'

Also, if you have any hobbies or interests which fit in with the role, mention them too. (For example - I am a very fit and determined person - I do marathons- but of course, only if you do!)

Most employers are desperate to interview people who are enthusiastic and flexible. They might feel threatened intellectually, so don't dwell on your studies. At the interview, think hard about your past achievements and convince YOURSELF that you are not a desperate person, and that you could do this job really well, and get a lot of pleasure out of delivering a good service.

If you go in thinking 'I'll never get this, I'm overqualified and they'll write me off', then this will show and you'll give a lacklustre performance at interview (because you've already dismissed yourself as unsuitable - so why should they think any differently).

Please don't give away that you're desperate! This will only appeal to the very worst employers!

xstitch I've been unemployed and also unable to get a job in my profession so you have my utmost sympathy.
I would say though, do you think you are so fed up that it's coming over in applications/interviews? I had an interview a couple of years ago for a job I desperately wanted but knew I probably wouldn't get as the other candidates would have more recent relevant experience. I messed up the interview big style but the interviewer was lovely and called me to ask if I wanted some feedback. She said that she could tell I was really demoralised and that had made me come over as very negative - I had a think about it and managed to come over much better in my next interview and got the job! It wasn't quite what I wanted but it turned out better than I thought and I am still there now four years later :)
Hope you get something great soon.

I am really struggling to get interviews at all kitty. it is very difficult to pretend not to be desperate because I really am desperate. I no longer can see things getting any better. I feel I used up my luck when I was offered the job I wasn't allowed to take.

I went to an assessment centre when I graduated where we were asked to say something interesting about ourselves. The guy who went before me smiled and said 'I'm dating Michael Owen's sister, we've been together several years'

The woman who was conducting the assessment centre then interjected that she went to school with Michael Owen's sister, that she was actually one of her best mates and that she knew for a fact that he wasn't dating her... it was so embarrassing. But at least I knew that whatever I said couldn't be much worse!

One more ladies:

Don't send spam advertising your small business masquerading as a CV. Seriously - WTF?