MIL buys baby clothes from charity shop

[Amber76]

I am expecting my first baby next week. My partner has told me that his mother has already picked up a few bags of baby clothes from a charity shop.

I'm happy to get given old clothes that my nieces and nephews have outgrown but I don't like the idea of putting my new baby into charity shop clothes. Am I being a snob? I wouldn't wear clothes from a charity shop so why should my baby?
I think I'll just say thanks and then donate them back to a similar shop in a few weeks. Is it too much to expect her to want to buy something new for her grandchild? She is not short of money....she just thinks this is a sensible way to shop.

not sure about unreasonable but you are being rude.
personally i dont mind charity shops but if its not your thand thats fine. but your mil is just being kind!be grateful,stick them in a draw and put on an outfit when your mil visits.

My dds have always had quite a few of their clothes from charity shops - luckily we live in a very nice area so the second hand shops are great - ever since they were babies. I have had many a comment about their lovely dresses and clothes. YABU. Check the clothes out first.

I think you're being a snob, but more to the point, rude. Buy your baby whatever clothes you want, but presents should be accepted gracefully. YABU to 'expect' anyone to buy you things at all, in my opinion, let alone to 'expect' people to buy you particular things.

onetoo manycornettos I sometimes find that is the case in my home town. But I also live quite near to some rather "posh" little places and the charity shops there have some right little gems in them!

OP hasn't been back, maybe she's had the baby?

i prefered my 2 babies in new clothes, but get loads from charity shops as they,ve gotten older, had junior j jeans, 2 next tops, tesco trousers, h&m jeans, hsm top and a dress for my daughter last week for £8. If you really dont like it, just donate them back, when you,ve had the baby, go and have a look urself and you might change your mind, she probaly feels shes helping you out and the charity at the same time. :-)

What you think you want when you're pregnant (esp w pfb) is different oftne to what you want when they're born. Take em, wash em and you'll probably end up using them. I do think yabu. Just because it's been owned before doesn't make it less special as it's your beautiful baby (the most beautiful one ever ;-) wearing it!!

YABU

If you can afford to buy new, then buy new. Leave the charity stuff for those who need it more, I say. OP is just as likely to donate her used items to charity once she's used them on this and any subsequent babies, so will be doing her bit for recycling. I don't see why it matters where in the chain she comes.

I don't think it's nice to be gifted second hand things. OK to buy it yourself, but not from someone else.

And for me, I got so much joy from choosing clothes for my baby, I didn't want a bunch of hand-me-downs. I've bought a lot in sales, or online where it's good value for money, I will hopefully have more children and get my wear out of everything.

So, YANBU.

Good luck with your new baby.

Assuming your MIL isn't insisting that you dress your PFB exclusively in the ropiest of ropey charity shop finds, then YABVU.

You'll have lovely new things, too. And some of those secondhand things are likely to be lovely as well.

But yes, my stating that you wouldn't wear charity shop finds yourself you do sound snobbish. And a bit daft.

at other people should keep their noses out.

Yes. Because posting on the Internet, in AIBU, and asking for people to comment and give you their opinions is a sure fire way to maintain your privacy.

I wish people who can afford new would chose to use charity shops and start to diminish the sense of stigma.

I was under the impression that it was mainly people who could afford to buy new who used charity shops and I have never known a stigma about it.
Saving money, when you can get wonderful, originally expensive, hardly (in some cases never) worn outfits when the baby couldn't care less ,and no one knows unless you tell them ,seems like common sense to me. I would still do it if a millionaire-it is more environmentally friendly.

Of course new babies are special etc etc - you will probably be overwhelmed with expensive pretty things which you will have to put aside for growing into and whoops - missed that three week window for that outfit!

Maybe I am a bit strange but I made it almost a mission to buy nothing new for my dc unless I absolutely had to - clothes, nappies, pram, moses basket, bouncy chair, bouncer, high chair, car seat, travel cot and probably more ALL second hand, much of it from jumble sales and charity shops as well as hand-me downs from friends.

This was for environmental reasons as well as economising.

I only buy as a gift from charity shops if it is a close, like-minded friend. But MIL who is like-minded has bought me the odd thing for dc from charity shops.

When they get to about 5 things start to get really expensive, so make the most of this stage while you can! Perhaps you are rolling in money, in which case good luck to you. There was a time when MOST of my clothes came from charity shops, so although I am not surprised at your attitude, it saddens me.

yanbu,its your first and you want everthing just right.
i personally wouldnt buy baby clothes second hand unless i was skint.

Exotic
You have highlighted what I wrote.

But what i wrote was in response to another poster saying that second hand shops were frequented by poor people who felt ashamed of having to use them.

You have singled out one line which makes it look as if I have argued the opposite if what I have actually said.

Sorry Pagwatch-I though that was what you meant. I find that they are frequented by those who have plenty of money-probably because they don't waste it on expensive baby clothes!

I got a bit PFB about second hand baby stuff and obsessively washed/sterilised everything (we've had virtually nothing new, ever, for either DS apart from double buggy) and then Mil reminded me that when they get born it's through blood, poo etc etc and that your nipple's not sterile... DS1 seemed to wee all over his face every time I clumsily changed his tiny nappy so I stopped worrying after that.

The thing I like about charity shops is that if the clothes are used and in decent shape, you know they're hard-wearing. I've gotten new clothes that haven't held up as well. I once got a red hooded jacket (Old Navy, back when they used to make clothes that didn't fall apart ) from a garage sale. The person told me that it had been through her three kids. DS wore it all year, then we passed it on to a friend, who just called me the other day to tell me that she was passing it on to a friend but would get it back for me if and when I have another DC. :)

I think it's just sensible, both environmentally and economically. One of my friend's well meaning mothers bought me a ton of brand new but very cheap (poorly made) clothes for DS when he was a baby. I donated a lot of them but kept a few for spares, pajamas, etc.

Just thank her, look through them, and donate the rest. :)

My problem with charity shops is I can't stand the SMELL. They generally have a weird pong which puts me off buying. This isn't always the case (there is a posh Oxfam near us which is more like a Bond Street store) but the other day I went into a kids second hand shop and had to leave because I felt a little nauseous.

You can always use ebay, carboot sales, NCT sales etc.-(or just choose a charity shop that doesn't smell)

i charity shop now, for all of us although for ds 1 omg no way everything had to be brand spanking shiney and new rest assured you are not being unreasonable,

YANBU
Nothing wrong with shopping in charity shops but I totally understand
My MIL gave me all DH's original baby clothes incl shoes...

Don't go in the smelly ones then Mardy!

There are decent charity shops and there are skanky ones - you know as soon as you walk in (cos your nose tells you if nothing else!)

I love second hand and did for my PFB - but not all stuff fits my taste. I didn't like dressing my dd in stuff not to my taste but was more than happy for it to be second hand. So I would potentially have been very happy with your MIL but depending on what she bought!

I think its fine to enjoy your baby in your own way and to dress him/her as you like! Be careful of hurting the feelings of other people though. The good thing about getting new stuff that you dodn't like is that you can generally return it and swap for something that you do like!

Maybe I have a sensitive nose as lots of them have a certain aroma for me. Mind you I had to walk out of Sainsbury's loo today because they obviously hadn't emptied the sanitary bins and it reeked. Nearly wet myself on the way home.