Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL buys baby clothes from charity shop

247 replies

Amber76 · 29/03/2011 22:36

I am expecting my first baby next week. My partner has told me that his mother has already picked up a few bags of baby clothes from a charity shop.

I'm happy to get given old clothes that my nieces and nephews have outgrown but I don't like the idea of putting my new baby into charity shop clothes. Am I being a snob? I wouldn't wear clothes from a charity shop so why should my baby?
I think I'll just say thanks and then donate them back to a similar shop in a few weeks. Is it too much to expect her to want to buy something new for her grandchild? She is not short of money....she just thinks this is a sensible way to shop.

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 30/03/2011 07:38

YABU. Most of DD's clothes are charity shop or eBay bar a few bits.

NinkyNonker · 30/03/2011 07:43

For those who say that presents shouldn't come from a charity shop (?!) it doesn't sound like the MIL has bought them as a special present, more like a contribution I expect. She probably thinks she is helping.

goodbyemrschips · 30/03/2011 07:51

I would not dress my new born baby in clothes from the charity shop.

Neither would any of my family buy anything for a new born to wear from a charity shop.

If that makes me a snob, its ok I can handle it.

sparkle12mar08 · 30/03/2011 07:51

Yes YABU.

Yes you are a snob.

Yes you can do what the hell you like.

Next?

Zippylovesgeorge · 30/03/2011 07:57

Charity shops/80-20 sales/carboots - all provided my boys with 80% of their wardrobes when they were smaller.

Great bargains if you shop carefully - OshKosh and other good brands. Worn by them both then either resold or handed on.

Even now I still find things for them and they are happy to wear them.

Looking at what I've got out for myself to wear today - apart from the underwear (definately only ever new there) - its all come via charity shops or ebay.

We don't look scruffy and most wouldn't even be able to tell it was 2nd hand.

QuintessentialShadows · 30/03/2011 07:59

And next is me.... Grin (unless somebody types faster)

"Hand me downs"

I have two boys. All my youngest sons clothes go to my second cousin, as she is the only one I know with a boy younger than mine. She is very happy. I am sure she passes on the stuff she doesnt like. But her boy gets lots of toys and clothes, we are talking ELC piano, ELC big car garage, etc.
My oldest (8) is quite slender and lithe, he even gets clothes his class mates and friends grow out of! Nike stuff, leather jacket, even football boots. We literally get bag loads of good clothes every year. And pass on bag loads, if still in good nick.

We are not by any means poor. It just makes sense. And yes, I wear clothes from second hand shops too, if I see something I like.

Jogon · 30/03/2011 07:59

I'll go against the grain and say no, you're not a snob.

In my vast experience of life it is the better off middle clarss who frequent charity shops and love a Boden bargain and the erm, less well off who dress their little Tiffany's in top to toe designer bling.

So, I'm a snob because I buy charity shop but I suspect you aren't really but would love to be.

FreudianSlippery · 30/03/2011 08:02

I felt like you did, OP, until very recently. All my DCs stuff was new (cheap though)
I do understand the feeling of wanting everything new especially if it's your first baby :)

However when DS (my 2nd baby) was born my friends with older boys gave me loads of old clothes and they are amazing - much higher quality than I can afford to buy new.

I don't have time to go sifting through charity shops - and tbh I wouldn't buy off eBay etc, because I'd want to see the item first. But I've recently started volunteering in a charity shop and some of the stuff is amazing! They sift out anything not nice or stained etc and send it on for recycling or clothing banks.

DH and I have agreed that we will do more of this now. I really wish I'd changed my views before the DCs were born and had shopped this way from the start.

borderslass · 30/03/2011 08:03

Before DD1[19] was born I felt the same but clothes for babies/children also cost a small fortune back then, at least they did here as we had very few clothes shops.
They don't wear clothes long enough to get much use out of them and babies don't wear them out.

QuintessentialShadows · 30/03/2011 08:05

Grin Excellent take on it Jogon!

It would always amaze me how well dressed the little kiddies on the bus from nearby XxXhampton would be.
They must have read that La Beckham bought Chanel for her babies, so they tried to copy the trend. Complete with ear piercings and bangles.

ahem.
Hmm

LunaticIsOnTheGrass · 30/03/2011 08:10

I don't know if I'd call you a snob, I probably was the same way with my PFB Smile

I soon learnt though Grin

You can get some cracking bargains with kids clothes in charity shops.

Most of my kids clothes come from charity shops, ebay & car boots sales. Baby clothes are great as they barely get worn before they get grown out of.

I'd much rather have decent quality 2nd hand stuff than primark quality new stuff that looks rubbish after a couple of washes. Smile

exoticfruits · 30/03/2011 08:13

Good for MIL! It wasn't a special present, she was just helping. My MIL got me a wonderful bag of clothes second hand. They are barely worn at that age. The baby is quite happy! Why waste money-no one knows. I think everyone should do it it always makes me laugh when people come up with the cost of a baby-only if you are mad enough to get everything new!

exoticfruits · 30/03/2011 08:16

I agree entirely with Lunatics-good quality 2nd hand, is vastly superior to cheap new. (anyone who is going to pay a fortune for designer clothing that they grow out has more money than sense!)

exoticfruits · 30/03/2011 08:16

You also give it a good wash before you use it!

ChristinedePizan · 30/03/2011 08:17

What difference does it make if it's someone you know who's worn them or someone you don't know? I presume you know how to wash clothes.

There are tons of things you are going to need, perhaps she's going to help out with a car seat or a cot or something which you can't buy second hand.

lesley33 · 30/03/2011 08:19

IME it is people who are from poorer backgrounds who can be most snobby about charity shop clothes. Accepting and using these clothes still means you are doing your best for your baby.

But then you are not planning to be rude and tell your MIL you don't want these clothes. So as long as you are polite, although I don't agreed with you, YANBU.

diddl · 30/03/2011 08:23

I think what she has done is a good idea.

Doesn´t mean that she won´t also buy something new.

But it´s surprising how many things they can get through & how difficult it can be finding time to load the washing machine-let alone then pegging out/drying stuff!

theresapotatoundermysink · 30/03/2011 08:27

YABU, but tbf its your newborn and you can be as precious about it as you like.

FabbyChic · 30/03/2011 08:28

Id never put my kids in second hand clothes, happy to wear them myself but not my children.

exoticfruits · 30/03/2011 08:29

I agree lesley-I think that it is those who can least afford it ,who have to have new, who get all 'funny' about 2nd hand.

Jogon · 30/03/2011 08:29

Lovely new Nike baby trainers and a matching tracksuit. Smashing.

HecateTheCrone · 30/03/2011 08:31

I think a lot of people feel that paying for new baby clothes - what are they? a fiver? a tenner? more? each item? is a total waste of money for something that is going to be thrown up on, weed on and have poo squirted right out of the nappy and all the way up the back off and be grown out of in a month.

exoticfruits · 30/03/2011 08:34

It is the one time that you can get away with it-save you money for the teen years when you can't get away with it.
(I don't think it is PFB-it is PF time mother)

Pagwatch · 30/03/2011 08:35

I think anyone who dies not enjoy a rummage in the charity shop is a bit odd. I buy clothes and stuff, why not!
Having said that, when I used to live in hand me down stuff I always swore I would never buy second hand stuff. But that was insecurity not snobbery.

I agree with jogon. It isn't actually snobbery. It is almost the opposite. It is a fear of being labelled poor or working class because you fear that is how others will judge you. That is not the same as feeling to good to shop there - it is the fear of others assuming that is the best you can do.
Which is daft anyway. There is nothing wrong with being poor or working class or thrifty or anything else.
eBay is only charity shop buying on privacy and usually without the altruism.

I bought so many bloody clothes for dd. I am glad that someone picked up and made use if the brand new designer clothes she never needed and never wore.

The only people who judge second hand shop clothes are those terrified of being judged.

HecateTheCrone · 30/03/2011 08:40

pag, I love a good rummage. It's great. I got a load of kids videos and a handwash and moisturiser set for the bathroom in a lovely case thingie the other day. £4. My kids clothes, 90% come from charity shops. Same for Himself. Mine less because there's less there in my size Blush.

I sometimes grab my sister and take her out for the day and we go round all the charity shops. good fun.