MIL buys baby clothes from charity shop

[Amber76]

I am expecting my first baby next week. My partner has told me that his mother has already picked up a few bags of baby clothes from a charity shop.

I'm happy to get given old clothes that my nieces and nephews have outgrown but I don't like the idea of putting my new baby into charity shop clothes. Am I being a snob? I wouldn't wear clothes from a charity shop so why should my baby?
I think I'll just say thanks and then donate them back to a similar shop in a few weeks. Is it too much to expect her to want to buy something new for her grandchild? She is not short of money....she just thinks this is a sensible way to shop.

I was miffed as some of my family bought too many new clothes for my dc's .

Once they start poo-ing, sick-ing on them and growing like weeds you will start to appreciate second hand clothes. 80% of my dc's (4yrs & 2yrs) wardrobes are hand-me-downs or from NCT sales.

My great aunt gave me some cut up brushed cotton sheets which she had hemmed into cot size sheets for me - they were a bit grey looking and I wasn't keen on using them with my precious first born twins.....and was a bit about the 'gift'.

BUT my DTSs were both multiple times per night pukers so having 10 spare sheets was a flipping godsend and I quickly stopped being so precious!

For your firstborn, I think you're allowed to be a bit precious and I bet your MIL will buy something new to go with it. However, you state that you'd never wear stuff from a charity shop. You're missing out. It's amazing what you can find. I'm currently wearing a Papaya cardigan (£3.49) and brand new Next jeans (£4.99) and a pair of brand new Skechers shoes (£1.75). In my kitchen, I have an old fashioned set of weighing scales (£9.99). I could go on for ages. I manage to kit my kids out, mostly from charity shops and they always look really good. Even my 18 year old lad hunts in them now.

once they get to weaning age, clothes become almost disposable so you'll be grateful to cheaper clothes then

but yes, you're being snobbish.

YANBU. Your baby, your choice. But I wouldn't expect somebody to buy new, that may be asking a bit too much.

OP - you are not being a snob. It's a unique experience buying newborn clothes for your first child. Enjoy it fully and buy what you like. You will not be able to repeat it.

Some people love second hand clothes for their babies, some do not.

I refused any used items for my pfb. DC2 and 3 got hand me downs and as DC3 was my first DD she was indulged in additional girlie stuff which was mostly bought from charity shops. Gorgeous stuff hardly worn and some still with original tags on. Have also had hand me down dresses from some of DH's work mates which are v beautiful and way out of my budget price wise. All in excellent condition.

I handed on most of DS1's stuff to others and when had DS2 realised buying new was a waste of £££ and so bought loads of bundles off ebay. Just wish I'd been less fussy with DS1.....

i agree is really nice to go out shopping get bundle new stuff and plan and imagine baby in clothes you just picked .it is significant and feels nice to do that prior to birth.

BUT so long as they are in good repair,and cleaned i wouldn't mind, but i do see your point of view

to be honest you could buy and chose some nice wee stuff yourself and supplement with the 2nd hand stuff

it is kind of addictive getting a baby clothes bargain, i have picked up some amazing stuff some bnwt and i am picky about what i chose

anyway congratulations on baby and best wishes for birth

She should have asked you how you felt before wasting her money...very presumtious of her. Not everyone likes second hand.

I have been saying thank you and re-donating for 21 years. (My Mother volunteers in Oxfam, so it's like a tidal wave of stuff).

I think I might have finally managed to get her to stop with an almighty bloody great row. Yes - it was over second hand clothes for the new baby. I didn't like it. The clothes might come from a smoking, dog filled house with noxious diseases. And my new baby was fresh and new and precious. (And the fact the clothes were ugly and cheap looking did have a bearing too, I own),

I don't hate all second hand stuff and I don't have any particular views about people who use it . I just think there's a big difference between 2nd hand stuff you have chosen (good) and 2nd hand stuff someone else has chosen (not good). As some posters have said, there are great bargains to be had.

Each to their own. I wouldn't dream of putting my baby in charity shop clothes and I'm not a snob for making that choice. I don't judge people who shop in charity shops, so what on earth gives the right for someone who does shop in them to judge me, someone who doesn't.

To many people of their high horses over a simple personal choice. So imho, you do what you feel is right op, this is your baby, not your mils or any judging people on here

So, anyway, now I've got that out of the way, why wouldn't you wear second-hand clothing yourself? It's good for the environment, it's good for the charity; you're not exploiting sweat-shop workers, and can thus spend your spare cash on pricey fair-trade labels like Green People, et cetera.

(Tries to rein in smugness about how she cares for the environment for her children and grandchildren!>

yabu

how silly- new ones are a waste of money- my mum only bought second hand for my baby and i was perfectly happy.

misplaced snobbery- sorry.

DD1 is 4 weeks and all of her extensive wardrobe is gifts and charity shop purchases. Where I live (Nappyvalley) there are a few charity shops dedicated to childrenswear and maternity. Most of the clothes are beautiful and barely worn. From an ecological point of view, as well as an economic one buying clothes from there seems sensible to me. They will be worn by my DD and then donated again at some point.

All of my maternity clothes came from the same shop, and putchases included three Isabella Oliver wrap dresses which were great for work.

You should have a good look at what your MIL has bought- there may be some lovely things.

I only give my grandchildren quality clothes, and many come from thrift stores. I never buy cheap clothes. Can't stand them. I do find that once you get up to size 2 or 3, it is hard to find clothes because the kids wear them out more. In the ones I buy, I want them to be in very good condition. No stains, no missing buttons.

In thinking back, though, for newborns I always bought new--the soft nightgowns, the stretchy terry outfits, the onesies.

My first baby was given a set of three cordorory overalls. They were cheap and stiff. I never put them on him.

Yesterday I bought five dresses for my two year old GD. She likes dresses now. All used and all adorable.

YANBU - as someone said upthread "New or used, it's all gonna get shat or puked on". I would never dream of judging someone who shops at a charity shop, but if money isn't an issue, then I'd rather have shit or puke from my own family thank you very much.

I remember having a dilemma with my cleaner who bought charity shop clothes for DD when she was a baby (yes cleaner, flame away). I just felt uncomfortable and didn't really like the styles I'd picked, so I'd put her in them when she would come around and change afterwards. It was pre MN days so I missed my chance for a good flaming on AIBU back in the day....

she'd picked, I mean

I love charity shops.

We all wear charity shop clothes but especially good for babies because they grow out of stuff so fast.

Run it through the washing machine and it is as good as new IMO.

E-bay, charity shops, friends with older children.......I am a shameless recipient of baby toys/clothes/bedding from all 3

eg Grobags- £10 on e-bay or £40 in the shop......you decide.

The sky's the limit with baby stuff, so you can either buy everything new, or you can be a bit tight thrifty and put the difference in their college/car/house deposit fund. I know which they're going to be more grateful for.

YANBU. I would feel the same way. It would be different if I was buying the clothes from the charity shop - don't ask why, just would. That said, I kept all of DS1's clothes, passed them on to nephews and now DS2 is wearing them and along with hand-me-downs from his cousins.

DD gets a lot of hand me downs from her older cousins. However, not in the first 6 months where she had lots of shiny new stuff. So she grew out of it really quickly, but didn't matter as they're all about to come of out the loft again for DC2 anyway. Whether you're being unreasonable or not depends on whether you could afford to buy all the good quality stuff yourself.

I was sooooo snobbish about stuff like this with DS! He was (is) my PFB, too.

My next one will be head to toe hand-me-downs or cheap sweatpants, with a few nice outfits for visits, if that tells you anything :)

I got a bit grumpy with my mum for buying DC2 new clothes - SUCH a waste of money!

you know those new clothes you are desperate to buy fro your baby, op? you are going to find most of them at the back of the linen cupboard with the labels still on the day after the baby moves up to the next size.

mark my words.

i have lost count of the number of new things i've sent to the charity shop because the babies grew out of it before i got the label off.

it's my stock rotation system that's the problem, clearly.

when dd1 was 4mos old, i took over a local thrift shop. it was fab. she laid on the floor and gurgled - i got first dibs on the stock!

but really, with dc 2 and 3 i let them wear onesies and babygrows for a good few months - way more practical and a lot less fuss than real clothes. and, and, when their toes started to curl because they were getting too small - i chopped the ends of the babygrows off and put socks on!