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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my dd has no right to take it upon herself to do this

159 replies

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 27/03/2011 22:20

My dd (12) has been really moody and stroppy all day - something she does when she's over tired, so I ignored the strops and put it down to tiredness.

Then tonight she told me she had taken an anti-histamine this morning because when she went out to play her eyes were itching

Now, as she's my youngest and she's 12 I really don't feel the need to keep the medication locked up BUT I would never have dreamed that she would help herself to tablets without even asking. I am horrified.

When I told her in no uncertain terms that she was not allowed to take ANYTHING without checking with me first she said that she had asked me but I wasn't listening.

I think she's lying. I am sure that she didn't ask but even if she did ask and I wasn't listening that doesn't give her the right to go ahead and take one anyway does it?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 27/03/2011 22:22

Hayfever is quite high due to tree blossom at the moment. At 12 she should be able to take an anti-histamine without your permission I would have thought.

roses42 · 27/03/2011 22:25

Maybe next time you should listen to your child.

knockinonyerdoor · 27/03/2011 22:26

Depends: have you given them to her before? Does she take them regularly? If so, then she's thinking she's just being sensible.

Might be worth having a chat to her about the dangers of taking too much/ the wrong kind of medication.

But tbh I think at 12 she is old enough to know if she needs medication. I have told my 13yo that if she gets a headache or tummyache either in the night or if she's alone in the house, she is allowed ONE paracetamol or ibuprofen.

Tsil · 27/03/2011 22:26

At 12 I was old enough to get myself anti - histamine tablets if needed. I don't see the problem really.

Do you think an anti-histamine will lead to recreational drugs?

A1980 · 27/03/2011 22:26

YABU

I started my periods when I was 12 years old and when I started it and had cramps I would help myself to paracetamol. I was 12 YEARS old not 12 months. I knew the dangers of taking too many pills and I could actually read the box. Shock horror, 12 year olds can read you know Wink

She took 1 antihistamine in the morning. She's had them before, she knew how many to take. What harm do you think would come to her? If you had tried to give her another one she would have told you she'd had one already.

borderslass · 27/03/2011 22:27

At 12 they actually have the right to make decisions about their own health care.

Original poster
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 27/03/2011 22:29

Gee thanks roses42 (hmm) and maybe next time you should read the thread properly.

I am pretty sure she didn't ask.

OP posts:
WassaAxolotl · 27/03/2011 22:29

YABU- and something about your tone sounds decidedly off. Take it upon herself? It's hardly as if her pain/discomfort is absolutely none of her business, surely?

ChristinedePizan · 27/03/2011 22:30

What's her being moody and stroppy got to do with anything? I don't understand why you're horrified - if you don't want a 12 YO to access the medicine cupboard, lock it up. But an anti-histamine is hardly something to get wound up about. I have been streaming over the last few days - AHs are the only thing that help

A1980 · 27/03/2011 22:30

Good point borderslass. If a 12 year old asks a doctor not to tell their paretns something, the doctor can't tell the parents.

squeakytoy · 27/03/2011 22:30

But she is 12, not 2.. why on earth would you have to police something like this?

Original poster
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 27/03/2011 22:30

Well my worry is that she could have been taking other medication that interacted with anti-histamines, she wouldn't know.

OP posts:
GeraldineAubergine · 27/03/2011 22:31

Was she taking any other medicine?

Kbear · 27/03/2011 22:31

do anti-histamines make you moody and tired ? aren't they just moody and stroppy anyway? LOL

I think she's old enough to know to take an anti-histamine but would prefer my 12 year old to ask too I think.

A1980 · 27/03/2011 22:32

But she wasn't taking any other medication was she?

I think you're overreacting very badly. Sorry.

LynetteScavo · 27/03/2011 22:34

Why have you posted in AIBU?

I don't think you are being unreasonable, btw...I would be Shock if my 12 year old took any medication with out checking with me first (and me saying yes, and administering it)

WassaAxolotl · 27/03/2011 22:34

So, discuss drug-interactions, and how it is responsible to always check up with someone before you introduce a new medication.

Valuable opportunity for life-skill learning, and personal growth. Which is safer in long-term than getting you to sort it out every time, and dole them out apppropriately.

borderslass · 27/03/2011 22:34

Well would you rather she had a severe reaction to allergens, DD2 has had to take time off school in the past when she didn't have her anti-histamine with her I know what i'd rather happen.

stealthcat · 27/03/2011 22:35

When I was 12 I would have taken an anti-histamine or paracetomol if I needed it, it is old enough for your DD to be doing that sort of thing herself.

What do you think it could have interacted with?

DurhamDurham · 27/03/2011 22:35

My two girlS (17 and 13) have been self-administering hay fever medication for several years now. As long as they are aware that they only need one a day it should be safe.

Must be strong stuff if they've made her tired and grumpy all day. I just buy Piriton or Tesco equivalent and they don't act/appear any more subdued than usual.

worraliberty · 27/03/2011 22:36

I'd be a little surprised if my 12yr old did that but to be honest, if he said he asked me and I wasn't listening...I wouldn't say he had no right to take it because he would have assumed I had heard him and not objected.

Original poster
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 27/03/2011 22:36

Yes anti-histamines make you tired - they even have a warning on them saying "may cause drowsiness".

It's just me then that thinks it's not OK for a 12 year old to self medicate Shock

Surely there's a reason why you have to be 16 to buy these.

OP posts:
roses42 · 27/03/2011 22:36

I did read the thread properly thankyou, I just see why you are horrified because she did the sensible thing and had taken an anti-histamine this morning because when she went out to play her eyes were itching.

Serious overeacion on your part I think.

roses42 · 27/03/2011 22:37

cant see

bonkers20 · 27/03/2011 22:38

I don't think YBU, I would feel the same about my DS (12 tomorrow).
He rarely takes medication and till now it's always been administered by me. He just doesn't know enough about self medication to take it himself.

I don't know if I'd be horrifed though, I think I would treat it more as a wake up call to myself to actually sit down with him and inform he what was OK to take himself.

Once I'm happy for him to self administer I'll make sure he knows which ones are OK (paracetamol for example) and make sure he knows the dosage and to ALWAYS tell someone what he's taken and when. In the event of an accident and hospital admission I'd be pretty shocked if I found myself in the position of not knowing whether he's taken any medication.

Of course, many children of his age are taking regular medication and I would certainly expect a 12 year old to be mature enough to be responsible for their own, but that's just not my DS.

Having read this thread I think it would indeed be a good time for me to talk to him. I don't want him to think it's OK to take medication from friends at school or something and I'm sure many carry things around with them.