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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think my dd has no right to take it upon herself to do this

159 replies

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 27/03/2011 22:20

My dd (12) has been really moody and stroppy all day - something she does when she's over tired, so I ignored the strops and put it down to tiredness.

Then tonight she told me she had taken an anti-histamine this morning because when she went out to play her eyes were itching

Now, as she's my youngest and she's 12 I really don't feel the need to keep the medication locked up BUT I would never have dreamed that she would help herself to tablets without even asking. I am horrified.

When I told her in no uncertain terms that she was not allowed to take ANYTHING without checking with me first she said that she had asked me but I wasn't listening.

I think she's lying. I am sure that she didn't ask but even if she did ask and I wasn't listening that doesn't give her the right to go ahead and take one anyway does it?

OP posts:

roses42 · 27/03/2011 22:39

maybe you should buy the ones that don't cause drowsiness,

colditz · 27/03/2011 22:41

She 12 years old, and as you don't mention any SN, I'll assume she's at least averagely capable!

I could certainly sort out my own medication at 12, 12 year old diabetics self medicate - she's well within her rights to take herself to the doctor and get her own prescription, and is under no obligation to involve you at all (and neither will the doctor tell you)!

lookatthetime · 27/03/2011 22:42

My 10 year old dd keeps her antihistimine tablets in her knickers drawer. She remembers to take one tablet every morning when she sees the packet as she gets her knickers. Otherwise I will forget to give her a tablet every morning, during the morning chaos, and the school will be phoning me to pick her up as she is too ill to stay in school.

I consider my dd responsible enough to know the difference between taking an antihistimine tablet and recreational drugs.

Mahraih · 27/03/2011 22:42

I can't help but focus on the use of the word 'right', OP. Does your DD have a RIGHT to take medication without asking? Yes, of course she does. It isn't theft, and she has every right to make the decision to take an anti-histamine. Your OP is quite accusatory and I think that's misplaced.

SHOULD she take medication that you don't know about? 12 is maybe a bit young, but as it's medication she's had before, no harm done.

Maybe have a chat with her about anti-histamines, and what she can/can't mix them with. Also, make sure she knows about other medications you have that she might be able to access. 12 years old is old enough to let her medicate herself, as long as you are aware of what she's medicating herself with.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 27/03/2011 22:43

Bloody hell, I feel sorry for the kid you sound like a nightmare.... empathise the importance of only taking one and leave it at that.

A1980 · 27/03/2011 22:44

I hadn't thought of that colditz.

I had asthma as a child. I took ventolin, flixotide and servenet regularly (I was bad). I took it school from a young age and took it myself. My mother didn't have to remind me and i was taught how much to take and how often to take it. Diabetic children are taught to inject themsleves from a young age.

But a 12 yo cannot "take it upon themselves" to help themselves to one antihistamine.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 27/03/2011 22:45

nope - don't see the problem myself - she's 12!.

I don't get your argument about the age thing.

Under 18's can't buy knives...............so that must mean that under 18's shouldn't be allowed to cook meals..............

sungirltan · 27/03/2011 22:46

yabu. your dd acted in good faith. you could just have had a quiet word about why taking meds unsupervised is risky and that you needed her to tell you of her intentions and then maybe work out a plan for the future where she is albe to self medicate safely.

Original poster

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 27/03/2011 22:46

Sorry but every single one of you who disagrees with me is wrong.

You have to be 16 to legally buy this medication because 12 is too young and needs to be given under adult supervision.

OP posts:

WassaAxolotl · 27/03/2011 22:48

So, you are in this forum, why?

Ormirian · 27/03/2011 22:48

Of course she has the right. What a strange way to put it. She needed a small dose of a relatively harmless drug that she has used before. So she took it. Initiative and independence.

sungirltan · 27/03/2011 22:48

yes true but you said 'took it upon herself' as if she'd dome something really naughty/disrespectful.

she acted in good faith!

sungirltan · 27/03/2011 22:48

wassa - yes my thoughts exactly.

roses42 · 27/03/2011 22:49

well flippin listen to her and supervise then, or lock them up,

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 27/03/2011 22:50

"You have to be 16 to legally buy this medication because 12 is too young and needs to be given under adult supervision."#

You have to be 18 to buy a kitchen knife - do you really think that everyone under the age of 18 needs supervising while preparing a meal???

And actually I don't think there is a law on the age of sale of medicines - only guidelines.

A1980 · 27/03/2011 22:50

Ok. have it your own way.

But if you think 12 year old in general are too young to take meds without supervision, when I felt a little breathless and tight chested at school when I was 12, are you saying that I should have waited to take my ventolin when i got home under my mother's supervision? I couldn't have waited and i knew how to take it.

I'm sorry and I'm not trying to be rude but your arguemtn is completely flawed. 12 years olds aren't stupid and having had a long term condition as a child, it is a good thing to teach that child responsibility re their own medication from a young age.

ChristinedePizan · 27/03/2011 22:50

I will never understand why people post in AIBU when they only want to be told they aren't. How the fuck do you think young people with diabetes or cystic fibrosis or any of the other hundreds of conditions manage? They self-administer their medication because it gives them some measure of control and they're young people, not children.

borderslass · 27/03/2011 22:50

Well DD2 gets hers on prescription and has collected it herself since she was 13.It was her Dr. who actually told me they can make their own health care decisions at 12.

squeakytoy · 27/03/2011 22:50

Sorry but every single one of you who disagrees with me is wrong.

So why fecking ask us then?

Why not go to your GP and ask their opinion on it, or a pharmacist, because I bet they will tell you exactly the same thing as we have.

WassaAxolotl · 27/03/2011 22:50

It's easy for someone to tell someone else they don't need, or shouldn't have medication, isn't it? When it's not your discomfort...

Kbear · 27/03/2011 22:51

"Sorry but every single one of you who disagrees with me is wrong"

that is hilarious

for that alone, YABVU!

and I agreed with you!

Original poster

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 27/03/2011 22:52

asthma and diabetes are different, they are life threatening conditions, hayfever is not.

OP posts:

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 27/03/2011 22:52

\link{http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/1009.aspx?CategoryID=62&SubCategoryID=65\tada} its not illegal.

Original poster

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 27/03/2011 22:54

I never said she shouldn't have it, only that she should have asked.

OP posts:

lookatthetime · 27/03/2011 22:54

My 10 year old keeps an asthma inhaler in her tray in school, as do several other of her classmates. Whenever she feels she needs to take it she has to administer herself. This is school policy. Is the school wrong OP?

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