to think my dd has no right to take it upon herself to do this

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow]

My dd (12) has been really moody and stroppy all day - something she does when she's over tired, so I ignored the strops and put it down to tiredness.

Then tonight she told me she had taken an anti-histamine this morning because when she went out to play her eyes were itching

Now, as she's my youngest and she's 12 I really don't feel the need to keep the medication locked up BUT I would never have dreamed that she would help herself to tablets without even asking. I am horrified.

When I told her in no uncertain terms that she was not allowed to take ANYTHING without checking with me first she said that she had asked me but I wasn't listening.

I think she's lying. I am sure that she didn't ask but even if she did ask and I wasn't listening that doesn't give her the right to go ahead and take one anyway does it?

I think she should be able to judge whether she needs it but she needs to talk the OP/note it somewhere.

Self-medicating a chronic condition with prescribed medication taken at regular times or in response to a specific situation is different to taking OTC meds occasionally.

Children/teens should be encouraged to recognise when they need meds and guided in how to take them responsibly but they should certainly be supervised until you are 100% confident they can do it themselves and won't be tempted to take just 1 more paracetemol or repeat the dose just an hour sooner.

I self-medicated at 12, it caused untold problem because paracetemol - which I would take for headaches/period pain - turned out not to agree with me and gave me enormous headaches and fevers. Because I was self-medicating (and following the instructions of the pack to the letter) this wasn't picked up on for a couple of years and I went through a lot of stress and tests and scares about brain tumours for essentially nothing. If my mother had known I suspect she would have made the link earlier but she was starting from point B. A swifter diagnosis may also have prevented my sister getting ill (same intolerance to paracetemol) except hers caused liver damage and she got seriously sick.

Similarly the tiredness side effect of moody/stroppiness could have been recognised, amd possibly dealt with better, had the OP been aware that DD had taken medication which has side effects.

So she wasn't BU to take it, she was to not tell you whether that was before or after the fact.

She should have made it clear to you that she was taking them rather than helping herself. This is for several reasons, the tablets could be mixed up - never underestimate the stupidity of men sometimes!- or she could have had a reaction if they were new to her.

Personally, I don't think 12 year olds should not be getting medicine themselves. YANBU

Oh I can understand the concern about possible mistakes, I just think the language used was strange and a little strong. If you'd said she should have checked with you first, or asked you I probably would have agreed, but the use of the word 'right' seems very combative and inappropriate.

Poor kid. I'm sure she's learned her lesson now, not to tell you a thing.

Hayfever is a long term condition, she needs to be able to recognise symptoms (which she did) and treat accordingly (which she did)
You need to start teaching her to take care of herself this is part of it.
At 12 I was given a lot of responsibility

i think sh has every right to take one without asking you. you are being very over protective, its an antihistamine, not an E

I would be proud that she was taking care of herself

never underestimate the stupidity of men sometimes!

Actually, OP, I think you're getting an unreasonably hard time here!

My DD is younger than yours by a year so it's slightly different, but I don't think I'd be overly happy with her helping herself without asking/mentioning it first, unless it was long term meds or something like that.

I speak as someone who self-medicated from a young age due to heavy periods, like others on here. But my mum knew I was ok with the meds and had explained about side effects and overdose risks etc.

If I'd have helped myself from my parents medicine cupboard, and indeed, if my DC were to take what they fancy from mine, they/I would be on the ceiling

I think as long as your DD was aware of the risks, not a problem. Otherwise, she should have made sure she knew you'd heard when she (allegedly) asked you.