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AIBU?

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Original poster

What minor social skills malfunctions annoy you then?

164 replies

doctormonkey · 23/03/2011 20:10

For me, it's when you talk to someone who has something significant in common with you, but proceeds to lecture you about it as though you know nothing about it.

I met a woman at toddler group the other day with two children the same age and sex as my own two children who proceeded to lecture me all about what having two children of that age and sex is like as if this were all brand new information to me.

She knew I had two children the same age and sex as hers - I had pointed them out to her when she asked.

This sort of thing gets on my wick - don't people have the basic conversation skills to do anything other than talk about themselves these days?

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 23/03/2011 20:12

That bothers me as well. And you can keep saying 'yes, I know, I have the same (or whatever)' and they just keep telling you!

I'm trying to think of something else. I find a lot of what people tell me doesn't interest me, actually!

compo · 23/03/2011 20:13

Shyness in adults
it just comes across as offensive and rude
dh's friends seem to lack social skills
like if they stay for a weekend and I go out with the girls when I come back not one will ask how my night was, they just carry on talking about films, planning xbox or whatever, drives me mad

sixlostmonkeys · 23/03/2011 20:14

It's a common problem.
I know people who will greet you with "hello how are you?" and before you can get out the first syllable they will proceed to tell you all about them and their ailments
My family know of such a person and we have little competitions as to who can be the first to actually utter a whole word - no one yet

sixlostmonkeys · 23/03/2011 20:16

oh, another malfunction that bigs me - people who finish off the sentence for you. ...... apart from one friend of mine who is absolutely fabulous at it! How the eck does she know what I'm about to say?

aStarWithHerOwnWays · 23/03/2011 20:16

People who persistently call me by the wrong name. It may seem like a small thing, the difference is only one letter after all, but it is not my name. This is especially annoying when I have emailed or written to someone and they reply using the wrong name. It's right there in front of you fgs!

Having said that, I try and let a lot of minor social fails slide as I'm sure my own conversational skills are appalling. I have actually considered making a list of topics to ask people about in unfamiliar situations, in order to spur my shite small talk onward.

MotherNight · 23/03/2011 20:18

People who will only say hello to you in certain places. You see them at playgroup and they'll happily chat to you but when you see them elsewhere they completely blank you.
People who don't thank you for letting them go or getting out of their way in a car.
People who slam the door in your face when your going in a shop, check behind you!

I have loads.. Blush I'm really rather pernickety Blush

DrNortherner · 23/03/2011 20:18

People who are so shy/insecure/rude/whatever to say HELLO to you so you end up always talking to them first, and if you don't bother they would never talk to you, then they would moan to people that you don't speak to them any more.

There are a few like this in the playground and I can't be arsed to keep making an effort so stopped, and guess what, they never make the effort with me. What's that all about?

Original poster
doctormonkey · 23/03/2011 20:19

I sometimes even get annoyed when I thank someone for letting me out in the car and they don't do 'the wave' back Blush

OP posts:
SusanCalvin · 23/03/2011 20:19

People who only say hello in certain places possibly don't recognise you in other places. I find it very difficult to recognise people in a different place.

bibbitybobbityhat · 23/03/2011 20:20

All minor social skills malfunctions annoy me, I'm afraid. Children excepted. Grown adults who cannot hold a reasonable conversation ... it just annoys me. Sorry.

ScarlettWalking · 23/03/2011 20:20

My friends' husbands are soooo bloody shy or I don't what it is but they are just lacking in any personality or friendly qualities whatsoever. They are all married to really sociable lovely Women but they are fearful to even make eye contact with me, even when I have been invited to their house for parties and gatherings. Weird fuckers.

Recently I got invited over to my neighbours and she didn't turn of the (HUGE wall mounted plasma) TV the whole time.

Probing questions the first time I meet you "Are you having any more children?" Hmm

Kissing when first introduced - I don't know you I don't want to bump cheeks thanks

MrsChemist · 23/03/2011 20:21

That happens to me a lot too aStar. Just one letter, but it just makes me think they weren't paying attention when I told them my name.

I do something I know annoys people, but can't help it. I rarely, if ever, look someone in the eye. I know DS's eye colour and DH's, anyone else, and I'd have to guess at the colour.
Making eye contact makes me incredibly uncomfortable. No idea why Sad

Ragwort · 23/03/2011 20:25

I totally agree re: 'shy' adults - just how difficult is it to say 'Good Morning' when you pass someone in the road? I walk my DS to school every morning and we tend to pass the same people - have to say that it is nearly always 'older' people who will reply and make a comment about the weather/school/anything - but often younger people (including mums/dads clearly walking their children to the same school) just look the other way as if they can't bear to make contact.

Also don't like it if people can't shake hands properly ... actuallly loads of inept social skills really bother me - my favourite saying is 'h/she lacks interpersonal skills' Grin.

JaneS · 23/03/2011 20:25

Oh, thank god for this thread, I wanted to vent.

It's people with BO who don't bloody DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

I was in the library today and some bloke who genuinely stank came and sat by me and proceeded to waft gusts of it around every time he moved. According to the librarian he's in there every day and by 7pm (when they shut) she is just gagging at the smell, as it's a small room. Before you ask, he's not homeless and trying to find a warm place - it's a university library and I think he's a student or a researcher.

He also burps about every five minutes.

[boak] [boak [boak]

Can we please have a proper Envy boak icon?

MrsChemist · 23/03/2011 20:26

The eye contact think isn't shyness either, I'll happily chat to a stranger, just looking anywhere but their eyes. I'm aware that it annoys people, and I totally understand why.

MadamDeathstare · 23/03/2011 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Skinit · 23/03/2011 20:30

I can't stand people who perform personal grooming in public....I am OCD about it...teeth picking, nose blowing, bLEEUGH!

Procrastinating · 23/03/2011 20:30

I just moved to a new town and I'm doing playgroups, school etc . There are many women who haven't a clue how to have a conversation. I ask them about themselves & comment on their children / dog / car/ the news whatever is relevant. They answer and then NOTHING back, they don't even bother to pretend to be interested in me or what I might have to say.
It is rude and ignorant and these are fairly posh women (are they worse actually?).

NettoSuperstar · 23/03/2011 20:30

I'm horribly shy when I first meet people, and even if I try and talk it comes across as weird, and awkward.

I know I've met people who don't like me because they think I'm odd, when really I'm just painfully shy.

Once I get to know people, I'm so open, and friendly, and never shut up talkative, but it takes me a while to get there.

Original poster
doctormonkey · 23/03/2011 20:31

People who are nosey about your life but don't actually bother talking to you when you see them.

The day after our firstborn was born DH was on the phone to his parents in the back garden and our neighbour was hanging out the window trying to listen to what he was saying.

Yet when we walked past her later that week (coming out of our front door - she knew who we were!) she totally blanked us.

OP posts:
Littlepurpleprincess · 23/03/2011 20:32

Me too MrsChemist! I kept finding that when I got served in a shop, the person serving was really 'off'. And then I thought "well every person who works in a shop can't be an antisocial wierdo right?" So I thought about it and realised I NEVER look at them in the eye, or even their face. I focus on my purse/shopping. So it's actually a reaction to my wierd quirk, and for whatever reason it's that situation that makes me to shy to make eye contact.

PenguinArmy · 23/03/2011 20:32

I'm the same as netto. I grow on people

I can't stand people chewing gum or noisy eaters. EAT WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED

bibbitybobbityhat · 23/03/2011 20:35

There is a woman who I pass most mornings when I take my dc in to school. Her son is in the same class as my dd and has been for the last 6 years. DD has been to the birthday parties of her ds. She lives on the same street that I used to live on. She has had two younger children since we first started up at school together and I have always congratulated her on the births and showed a polite interest in her newborns.

Every morning I attempt a friendly smile at the gates. Every morning she pretends she doesn't have a clue who I am.

Hopeless.

Skinit · 23/03/2011 20:37

procrastinating...I have that too! I will ask someone about their DC or whatever at a playgroup and they're like this
[open mouthed and gormless emoticon]

I don't understand it! I'm normal...friendly...it's not all women but a LOT.

NettoSuperstar · 23/03/2011 20:37

I don't have BO or burp/fart in public though, and I am friendly, as in saying morning, how're you etc. I just find it hard to take it further.
I go blank, and can't think of a thing to say, other than 'nice day isn't it', or, 'what crap weather', or similar.Blush

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