to be angry 16yr old step --slut-- daughter is pg when i cant?

[monstersplatter]

Pretty sure I am being unreasonable, but desperately need to vent. My dp is 15 years my senior and had two children (teens....ack) from a previous marriage. We have 1 ds who has just turned 2 and are trying for our second. Have been trying for about 6 months so far. I feel like my life is on hold. There is nothing I want more than to be pregnant again.
Oops, sidetracked. Sorry. So a few weeks ago, his 16 yr old daughter announces she is due at the end of effing August. To a boy she had been dating for a month prior to conception.
She is still smoking, planning on getting herself a nice little council house and lots of juicy benefits, just like her mother. She is not sad or ashamed about any of this.
But now any children I have will be younger than their niece/nephew. I am furious. I don't want to be a Jeremy Kyle statistic. I would rather she wasn't either. I don't want her in my house anymore. I know so much of this is jealousy, she is and I seem currently unable. She has that which I so desperately want.
What would you all do? Should I just get over myself? What would you lot all do?

Pitchforks, apologies - I did think you were the OP yes but accept that you aren't and you know her in RL.

Monster - glad that you are able to reconnect with your SD and I hope that she behaves herself with a bit more decorum this time and doesn't tell you to "fuck yourself" again.
Good luck with the TTC.

Pitch
talking to someone in RL

same difference as a "crystal ball" in this context.

Long and short: you are a mouthpiece for the OP.

Not transparent from your posts.
Also your writing styles have a distinct similarity and tone.
Clearly, just an unfortunate coincidence.

PS Still curious about the ISA arrangements.

When women marry men who are 15 years older than them, this is surely likely to be quite a common problem...

I know a guy who's 29, married to a 46 year old woman and they have a 1 year old son.

The woman has children who are around the same age as her husband, and grandchild older than her baby.

Makes your head go a bit dizzy, but if they're all kind and loving to each other, what the hell.

mumblechum1 I completely agree. I don't think it's at all unreasonable for a stepchild to have a baby before you do, if you're with someone who is older and has kids already.

My DH is significantly older than me, he had kids young with his ex, we're choosing to have them late. Thus it's not unfeasible that his daughters age 21 and 19 might have children who end up older than their own half-auntie/uncle. S'modern life, innit?

I WISH they'd had kids first tbh as it might've pushed me to get my arse in gear and start a family a bit earlier than I have.

are you alright monsterplatter? Are you still on the thread?

She received abuse for an extremely unpleasant rant in her op that got many people's backs up. If all she wanted was to let off steam AIBU is a bad choice! Because people will tell her that she is, in this case. And why is anyone an 'arse' because they object to misogynistic nasty language directed towards a child .

She had approached the girl now and made friendly overtures which is great but you can't honestly be surprised at the roasting.

She's only 16! So rant or not, you need to grow up. This is your dh's grandchild and hopefully he will want to be part of it's life, what will you do then, Granny? You sound slightly unhinged and very controlling. I could be wrong.

monstersplatter Tue 22-Mar-11 23:51:03
I have read you post, see you regret your op now. Hope you can find a way forward.

reminds self not to jump in on long threads unless you can be arsed to read all the posts

The bottom line is that she isn't your responsibility. Let her own parents take care of her and take a back seat. Concentrate on you and yours. She may surprise you and become a brilliant mum and a proper grown up.

Remember she's your DPs daughter too so if you're unhappy with her choices you might want to think about how he parented her and the implications (if any) for your own child(ren)

Deep breath and try to get some perspective; stress is not good if you're TIC. There's nothing you can do so take a step back and be grateful it's not your child in her position.