Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Original poster

3 weeks in bed with morning sickness - fair enough or milking it?

221 replies

redstripeyelephant · 21/03/2011 09:21

My friend is 10 weeks pregnant and having morning sickness, as you do! It sounds pretty normal - feels nauseous most of the day, throws up every now and then (not every day). She has been either off work sick or working from home for the last 3 weeks. I'm a SAHM and have tried popping round or inviting her over or to the park with me and DD (we live 5 mins away) but it's no good, she wants to stay in bed. Fair enough, I thought.

DH went to the pub with her DH last night and came back saying her DH is 'sick of it', thinks she is 'milking it' and wants me to talk to her and convince her she is 'not ill, just pregnant'!

He says she literally does not get out of bed, just lies there watching tv and waiting for him to bring her food. They recently bought a new house that needs lots of work and he is doing everything on his own. My DH went round there the other day to help with some DIY and said she just shouted hello from the bedroom. When he made some sarky comment about getting out of bed she said 'I am actually on medication you know' (antibiotics for a uti).

My feeling is I'm keeping well out of it! Plus, I do sympathise with her, it does feel shit. But most people do get on with it and don't stay in bed all day, but then different people cope with things differently, right? I threw up pretty much every day with DD2, and had to go to work and look after a toddler. But then I guess you have a better threshold for getting on with things when you're already a mum.

I thought I'd throw it open to the MN jury - is it normal to be so absolutely flattened by morning sickness that you literally can't get out of bed? (We're not talking hyperemesis by the way - she can keep food down, and has been to the doctor several times who says it'a just morning sickness).

OP posts:

CuriosityCola · 01/12/2011 08:33

Rubycharlie, i managed to stay out of hospital. However, I was told it was everything from being in my mind to 'why aren't you eating ginger?'. Well after throwing up for the seventh time that day I decided it didn't work . Plus ginger burns on the way back up! I do have resentment for these comments.

I found the feeling of motion sickness horrendous, so even if I could eat something I needed to lie down. Threw up in all manner of public places. No sympathy from the doctors. Was living on iced lollies. Mil still insisted on presenting me with three course meal every visit and continually trying to feed me . Stopped visiting her for ages as I was fed up of not being listened to. Messaged on a board about being fed up on mn and was told with others to just be grateful to be pregnant. It has put me off another pregnancy. Have to say dh was fab. Never failed to check on me and did well finding iced lollies in winter.

Every person is different. Some people will have it far worse and some far easier than me. It may still feel horrid to them. Whatever makes their pregnancy easier and keeps them happy shouldn't be complained about.

P.s. I used to say pregnancy isn't an illness

CuriosityCola · 01/12/2011 08:35

Nothing like a good rant in the morning

SantasStrapon · 01/12/2011 08:42

Her DH is BU. I spent most of both of my pregnancies hospitalised with severe hyperemesis, it was the only way to keep me hydrated, even swallowing saliva made me vomit. That went on from when I was 8 weeks right up until birth. And for a month or so after I was still randomly sick. I was skin and bone by the time I gave birth, and only managed to breast feed for a month or so, as I just couldn't make enough milk.

I felt hideously nauseous, was constantly sick, just bile and blood because I tore blood vessels from retching,had a banging headache and was faint and exhausted. I was induced at 34 and 36 weeks as the babies had stopped growing.

I cried when I found out I was pregnant the second time. They were not tears of joy.

lettingitallgonow · 01/12/2011 08:44

I had awful morning sickness, I literally heaved every half an hour (I had no food to throw up), any food I did eat would 'bounce' off my stomach and re-appear within 5 minutes. I'd even wake in the middle of the night, throw up then go back to sleep.

My midwife didn't really do much so I went to the doctor who put me on tablets to stop me being sick as I was losing too much weight (I wasn't overweight to start with).

So yes, it can be really bad however I still managed to get to work most days, it was bloody hard work tho and they did allow me to work from home. and it was only for the first 3 months then it stopped and I had a trouble free pregnancy.

I do remember having to be on a client site and had to drive to Manchester with a bin bag on my lap so I could throw up in that and not have to stop :)

spiderpig8 · 01/12/2011 09:08

yabvvu
WHO NEEDS ENEMIES, WITH FRIENDS LIKE YOU AND FAMILY LIKE HER DH
Am chortling at all those 'well, I had bad hyperemesis and never missed a day's work' types.No you didn't! If you have serious hyperemesis you are on a drip and sedated there is no way you are at work!

Moominsarescary · 01/12/2011 09:23

Agree with spiderpig I spent most of my pregnancy with ds1 in hospital on a drip and also suffered with my kidneys due to dehydration, ds2 wasnt to bad but I was still signed of work from 14 weeks due to the sickness and weight loss, ds3 was the worst and I think I realy should have been admitted and put on tablets but my doctor was an arse and refused to even test my urine for keytones, I just constantly drank water hoping that some would stay down.

I couldn't of worked especially with ds3 , at points I just wanted to die and spent days crying on the sofa. I'm not a mardy person and don't take to my bed at the first sign of illness, I can throw up and carry on what ever I'm doing but with ds3 it was totally different. It also damaged my teeth due to the constant throwing up of yellow acidy stomach bile and the dentist couldn't do anything as I threw up whenever she tried to examined me.

SantasStrapon · 01/12/2011 09:29

Absolutely spiderpig. The best analogy I could come up with was those who say they struggle into work with flu. You don't even want to lift your head off the pillow with flu, nobody goes to work with proper flu.

MrsHuxtable · 01/12/2011 09:32

What spiderpig said. Working with real Hyperemesis? How? A lot of the time I couldn't even stand up...

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 01/12/2011 09:37

This thread is nearly 9 months old - The friend has had the baby by now!

MrsHuxtable · 01/12/2011 09:38

I think we all know that but everyone likes a good rant .

Robins · 01/12/2011 09:53

I have not read a lot of the posts in detail but my guess is there are a lot of differing opinions. However having not given birth until I was 37 and 39, a relatively older mum, I can in all honesty say that I had two very healthy pregnancies and very straight forward births and the worst I ever felt was with the morning sickness with my first. I was off work for three weeks as I just had tummy ache/sicky feeling the whole time. I fortunately did not have to be hospitalised as I managed to keep bits of bread/juice down but I know of at least three acquaintances who had to be in hospital on a drip. So morning sickness can be severe and appropriate sympathy and help should be given. Fortunately it doesn't last long and actually can be a sign of a very healthy pregnancy. And one thing that really does get my goat is when people say "they are not ill, they are pregnant". Pregnancy can cause certain conditions including extreme sickness and oh the awful tiredness you can get at the beginning too, I had that but that soon wears off as well. Speaking from someone who had two very healthy pregnancies as the weeks wore on and worked until just a couple of weeks of giving birth, I would always have understanding for a pregnant woman with backache or varicose veins or piles or whatever else...

Incidentally, I think Charlotte Bronte died of morning sickness! Thank goodness that doesn't happen now!

Robins · 01/12/2011 09:54

Oh just noticed how old the post is, but this is just something I feel so strongly about!

SantasStrapon · 01/12/2011 09:56

She did Robins, it was my Number One Interesting Fact when I was pregnant.

Moominsarescary · 01/12/2011 10:02

Realy? Never knew that. Can imagen it though, if untreated you can develope organ failure

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 01/12/2011 10:03

MrsHuxtable

samandi · 01/12/2011 10:31

When he made some sarky comment about getting out of bed

That was nice of your DH. Presumably he hadn't seen how sick or not she was himself.

I was a bit when she referred to her uti as a 'pregnancy complication' though!

While not exactly a pregnancy complication many women don't get UTIs until they get pregnant, and being pregnant makes you far more susceptible to kidney infections so they are more serious.

I tend to fall into the camp that thinks her DH (and yours) is being an ass. I can't imagine a normal, healthy person wanting to stay in bed for three weeks. But without knowing her or how seriously ill she feels it's pretty difficult.

The whole "you're not ill, you're just pregnant" thing is bollocks. Clearly women often are ill during pregnancy.

samandi · 01/12/2011 10:36

I wonder if the friend is feeling better now?

CarrieInAnotherTWOBabiTWINS · 01/12/2011 10:37

bloody hell what a shit friend you are.

poor love is better off without you.

i'm nearly 10 weeks pg with twins and suffering big time hyperemesis.
there are probably peopel that think i'm just a bit sick, but bollocks to them.

Robins · 01/12/2011 10:42

Santastrapon - funnily enough I find the story of the Bronte family far more interesting than any of their novels!

Robins · 01/12/2011 10:44

Real life "story" of their lives I mean!

nofrikkincarbs · 01/12/2011 10:46

If I was your friend, and your husband came to my house and made a sarcastic comment about me being sick in bed, I would not be held responsible for my actions!

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 01/12/2011 11:09

samandi - friend will have had the baby by now the thread started in March!

samandi · 01/12/2011 13:35

Chaz - yes, I just noticed after my first post so was wondering how it all turned out! :-)

AteAWholePacketOfBiccys · 01/12/2011 14:10

I used to think 'get on with it' 'pregnancy is not illness' 'pregnant not ill' and so on.
In my previous pregnancies I was walking miles with the other children, whizzing around the park with them, doing housework, coursework, working, washing, decorating, cooking, babysitting for other kids, even moved house twice!. Everything like normal, felt a bit tired/sick but just got on with it.
I would say she needs to stop being a princess and drag her lazy ass out of bed but this time being pregnant has been different for me. I could sleep 24/7, I feel like I have a virus, sick, dizzy, headaches, faint and can only eat a few random things, going upstairs for a wee is like hiking up a mountain.
If it was possible (and its not) I would be sat on my lazy ass in bed.
So maybe she does feel that bad.

WhiteTrash · 01/12/2011 14:26

Old post but still.

People are talking about hypermersis (sp) and being hospitilised and what a shit friend she is.

But pregnant friend isnt sick all the time and the way I see it is, if you can eat your meals (i.e not feel so bad that even the sight/smell of it turns your stomach) then its Not That Bad.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Swipe left for the next trending thread