to find my MIL's and others' hatred of irrational private education unfathomable?

[jillyherbert]

I have an otherwise reasonable and supportive MIL. However, when it comes to the subject of private education she is unable to have a reasonable discussion about it. When talking about our (as yet unconfirmed) plans to go private with our twin DSs phrases such as:
"Over my dead body"
"You'll ruin them"
"I won't have my grandsons turned into sneering toffs"
"I won't speak to you if you do this"
seem to be par for the course.

Where does this vitriolic bias come from? Neither I nor DH were privately educated, but most of the state schools within a large radius are shockingly bad (I teach at one, and have taught at two others so have enough knowledge to make a balanced decision.)

The same prejudice against private education is rife in my profession too. I once mentioned to a colleague that I was considering going private and the fuss this caused (and is still causing) almost lost me a friend or two.

I'm not here to discuss the merits of one system or the other, just why the debate seems to be framed by an irrational hatred of private education.

Well yes, and not only that but what a powerful signal that would send out! It is the mass shunning of state schools also which leads to a downturn in their reputation and results.

But lovely Lady Di was so busy telling people to hug their children that she sent hers away to board, and so bloody much the people's princess that she sent them to that bastion of egalitarianism and commoners, Eton.

I completely agree with you, both Florence and Joan.

I wish I had a good answer to all of this. The problem is very complex.

Most people know what should be 'ideal' -i.e. every school being a good school, but they're not. Individual, selfish decisions will always trump wider social concerns if not regulated.

It does anger also me when those who have the chance of letting their child attend a good state school choose not to. I don't blame everyone else if feel they have no choice but to pay a private school. My own remedy of moving house to find a better state school does not make the situation any better, i feel.

yep, dd is clearly dim, just got ten A* in GSCE mocks, do hope doesn't do so badly in the real things in the summer as she is so dim.

So, if privately educated kids are 'dim' why is depriving the state system of their presence detrimental?

There seem to be a lot of contradictary arguments here.

Sorry just can't resist this. My dd went to a
private school top of the league tables, obtained 10 A* and one A at GCSE incuding highest marks in the country for 2 of them, got 4As at A level, got a First at Oxford and is now studying for fully funded PhD. I am an Oxford academic but a different discipline to her.

Just in case anyone wou8ld think that means I must have pulled strings to get her a place, it just doesn't happen these day and anyway I'm in a different discipline and have absolutely no conections with hers.

Now shoot me down in flames for 'buying' an educational advantage for my 'dim'? dd. I didn't 'buy' her anything as she would have got there anyway.

I simply love some of the assumptions on this thread about private schooling.

In the last year, we have put our DC's names down for a local prep school. I would like to say it is because I think all the 'commoners' children are oiks. Or because I detest the accents within the local chav state schools. Has that flamed the debate enough?

We have put their names down because we are at our wits end. 1 in 4 kids in this borough are not getting a place at any of the local primary schools. Last year, a neighbours 4 year old was offered a place in a neighbouring borough...at school run time is a hour commute one way! After a lot of stress and appeals, they got their kid into a local school. Others have not been so lucky.

I work, DH works. A commute like that would not be possible (although our local councillors do say that the borough would provide a taxi in this eventuality). I do not want my kids going to school so far away and a taxi picking them up/ dropping them off. What about their social life? Play dates? The logistics involved if that happened make my brain hurt. So, we have backed up our options with private nice a close to our home.

So if my kids end up in private it is because my sodding borough has not provided enough state places.

I don't think the poster who said that all private school children were dim was being serious (well I hope not).

However, I do think that lots of parents may choose private school if they feel their child may need extra help. I think that probably children who are bright will do well anywhere, especially if they have the confidence and motivation to get on. However, other children who might be quieter or struggle in certain areas may benefit from smaller classes and more attention.

I know of several people who have chosen state of one child and private for the other, because that's what suited the child.

I hate it when people say children are sent to private school because they are thick.

DN goes to a private school and is predicted 11A*. The boy next door but one who has been privately educated recently sat an entrance exam and got 100% in the intelligence test.

Both children are absolutely lovely as well.

agreed whitecat