to say it's a struggle for a family of five to live on under a thousand pounds a month?

[yosammitysam]

Me and my husband keep rowing (at this stage only in an ongoing bickering way) about our monthly budget. Basically we have 250quid a week which is supposed to cover food, toiletries, going out (us and the kids), petrol, birthday presents, anything the kids need for school etc etc. I just seem to really struggle with that amount. We spend a minimum of a hundred on a weekly shop (then top this up). My eldest ds is ten and eats like a horse and youngest is only two and still in (bloody dear- thanks to his ecezma) nappies. It doesn't have to cover bills (or one off yearly expenses like holidays, car MOT etc) and we do have seperate money for clothes and shoes, but it's not much so I end up buying smaller things out of my weekly budget.

He says it's ridiculous that we are overdrawn every month- he works full time I am SAHM- as he doesn't really spend much money. I don't FEEL like I spend much either, but all the little bits really add up. We are quite sociable but only really go out or have friends over about once a month and maybe I'll go out for a drink with friends every couple of weeks (if that). It's just that all ther little things really add up- day trips out (esp in school hols), swimming, coffees here and there, a new book for each child etc etc

It's just soooo frustrating, I feel I have to justify myself all the time, but I think in the current climate, it just doesn't go that far. The point was brought home to me when my much younger half sister told me she earns eight hundred pounds a month after giving my parents rent- and she has ALL that to spend on herself !!! My husband just doesn't seem to get it at all. I don't know if he thinks I'm stashing designer shoes and handbags in the garage!

But am I being unreasonable?? I admit I am a bit rubbish at budgeting etc. I generally do a weekly shop then top it up through the week and I think that all adds up. What does everyone else live on?!?

Oh god, sorry so long and the bloody pound sign on the keyboard has broken so have to type out all the numbers! It's just that I just got our bank statement and it's got me really, really down. I know we could have it a lot worse, but I do find it frustarting.

Maybe to strengthen your argument you could make a note of everything you spend. I know this is very time consuming but if you write everything down you will identify if there is an area where money is being wasted and can be saved.

I have about that to cover food and any children/animal expenses and rarely have much left. We are a family of 2 adults, 3 kids and lots of animals.

Yes, that's probably a good idea- just not one of my strengths! We do look back over the statement together, and I try and justify it all but it is confusing when I can't remember why I got cash out etc

This month I have decided to take money out once a week and only food shop once a week apart from milk and fruit. The first 2 weeks meant I had money left (£15 the first week) at the end of the week. The biggest thing for me has been stopping the top up shops in between the main shop.

You do have to justify yourself, what are you spending it on it's a hell of a lot of money.

Write down where it goes all the time, keep receipts, something has to give, he works you spend it, you should easily be able to feed you all on a budget of a hundred a week and only have to buy bread/milk later on in the week.

YOu are wasting money on something, what is it?

Sorry but that does sound like a good amount if it doesn't include bills and clothes. Could you reduce your food spending, I appreciate that is getting more expensive and probably accounts for quite a bit of that money.

Reality - you have 2 wages coming in though.

Oh bugger, maybe I am being unreasonable. Reality- how do you do it??? How old are your dc's and are you tee-total?!

My hubbie brings home £1700 pcm there are 2ad a 12yr oldwho is taller than ne at 5' 5'' adnd eats an adults meal/bottomlesspit and a 9yr old, mortgage, all bills, food, adults and kids clothes, shoes, toiletries, deisel etc etc come out of this.
we do not claim child tax credit or working tax credit.
I manage, just.

YOu are overspending and need to know where every penny goes, you clearly do not.

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=76

IF I were you I'd join the Debt Free Wannabe board at Money Saving Expert then post your SOA (includes income, expenditure and debts- overdraft is a debt) and ask them to have a look at your SOA for you.

£1000 that a month is covering too many different categories to be able to tell you which one is too high, but once your SOA is up at MSE someone will no doubt be able to help you. You seem to think it's food causing the issue. Well MSE also has a board called Old Style Money Saving which is all about thrift. The people on the OS board can probably help you find ways to slash your food bill painlessly.

There are also boards about freebies, bargains, discounts and getting cashback on your purchases, which could help a lot with the presents.

So if £100 goes on food per week where is the other £150 a week going? I think that food budget is huge as well (are you eating a lot of meat? and buying booze every week?) - especialy if you are doing top up shops. I suppose petrol is a big wedge of the other bit - can you walk occasionally for any of those journeys?

Otherwise its trading down - so using the library or chairty shops for childrens books and meeting friends at morrisons cafe/local cafes/somewhere cheaper instead of Starbucks etc

The budget thing on Money Saving Expert is really good - you can work out what you spend and it makes you think about things that are not weekly expenses, but still have to be covered.

When money was really tight for us, I cut out cafe food altogether (including coffee) because it quickly adds up. I didn't buy new books for dcs, but bought second-hand. And I didn't go for day-trips that weren't free. So entertaining the children involved going to parks (with picnic and flask for me) or having friends over or going to local free museums or the library. DH did take the kids swimming but not that often and the cost always stressed me out (we were really broke).

My sister who was also SAHM on a very tight budget always bought her kids food when she was out with them, did day trips etc. She didn't seem to notice how much these things cost. Maybe it is connected. I was working, albeit part-time, so I was very aware of how much money was coming in.

£1000 a month after clothes and bills sounds like plenty to me! We won't have that much when I go part-time.

Writing everything down sounds like a good idea to me, even if you just do it for a month. Maybe a change in supermarket would help? Unfortunately things probably won't get much better until you go back to work again... are you planning on doing this?

I agree with MaisyMooCow - definitely do a spreadsheet of all your spending so that it's easy to see where all the money's going. Then you and your husband can look at it together and see whether it's really possible to cut down anywhere or whether you need more money.

It's not really clear where this money is coming from though - does he give you a budget for food etc per month or is this all out of the joint account? Do you have individual spending money? Are you getting into debt as you're into your overdraft each month?

The only way to settle this is to look at it in detail.

There's really no point arguing about whether it is or isn't possible.

You have the information at hand right there. I sometimes think people are scared of looking at it in case they don't like what they find (not getting at you, but i've seen several family members either struggling with finances or actually in debt, and it's common to just worry but feel overwhelmed about actually noting down numbers and digging out statements).

Do you have access to internet banking? Do you have statements?

To get the proof, you only need to go through the last 4 or 5 months, really.

Tot up everything that is totally unavoidable: Rent, mortgage, home/car insurance, elec/gas, transport costs to work, childcare.

Then tot up what is flexible but needed in 99% of households: food (unless you do like my brother who goes home to mum's regularly for food, and eats out with mates a lot ), maintenance for car, car tax, optional insurance like life insurance, tv license, schooling costs like for pens and trips.

Then tot up everything that is massively flexible or downright optional: haircuts, shoes, whatever.

You need to get information on this if your state of "currently being overdrawn" isn't to head into the "getting into debt" category.

information is king - don't bicker about whether it's possible - prove it is or isn't possible.

remember to add in a division of 12 for each month for one off costs. e.g. when i did this last year for DH and I, we found that on average we have about £250 a month in one-off costs. that includes birthday presents, car repairs, repair to the boilet. that was based on 3 years of internet banking data. but £250!! that shocked even me!!

.....

i hope the above is useful. in summary - get the information you seem to be lacking!

fwiw, no, i'm so financially prudent these days i've been called "scary" and accusations of my ideal job being some sort of cost cutter in companies... BUT even i would struggle in your position (although i'm basing that on my own experience of mortgage costs and food comsumption, plus we have 1 car , etc).

I think it should be enough too. I second writing everything down to see where it is going.

It sounds like you maybe spend a lot on ongoing small purchases like coffees for example. These kind of things can really add up if you are not careful.

p.s. food bill is one of the most flexible, imho. we have 3 (well, two at primary, one of 12) and two adults, our budgeted food bill is £65. but that's a real struggle, lots of veggie/batch cooking!