to say it's a struggle for a family of five to live on under a thousand pounds a month?

[yosammitysam]

Me and my husband keep rowing (at this stage only in an ongoing bickering way) about our monthly budget. Basically we have 250quid a week which is supposed to cover food, toiletries, going out (us and the kids), petrol, birthday presents, anything the kids need for school etc etc. I just seem to really struggle with that amount. We spend a minimum of a hundred on a weekly shop (then top this up). My eldest ds is ten and eats like a horse and youngest is only two and still in (bloody dear- thanks to his ecezma) nappies. It doesn't have to cover bills (or one off yearly expenses like holidays, car MOT etc) and we do have seperate money for clothes and shoes, but it's not much so I end up buying smaller things out of my weekly budget.

He says it's ridiculous that we are overdrawn every month- he works full time I am SAHM- as he doesn't really spend much money. I don't FEEL like I spend much either, but all the little bits really add up. We are quite sociable but only really go out or have friends over about once a month and maybe I'll go out for a drink with friends every couple of weeks (if that). It's just that all ther little things really add up- day trips out (esp in school hols), swimming, coffees here and there, a new book for each child etc etc

It's just soooo frustrating, I feel I have to justify myself all the time, but I think in the current climate, it just doesn't go that far. The point was brought home to me when my much younger half sister told me she earns eight hundred pounds a month after giving my parents rent- and she has ALL that to spend on herself !!! My husband just doesn't seem to get it at all. I don't know if he thinks I'm stashing designer shoes and handbags in the garage!

But am I being unreasonable?? I admit I am a bit rubbish at budgeting etc. I generally do a weekly shop then top it up through the week and I think that all adds up. What does everyone else live on?!?

Oh god, sorry so long and the bloody pound sign on the keyboard has broken so have to type out all the numbers! It's just that I just got our bank statement and it's got me really, really down. I know we could have it a lot worse, but I do find it frustarting.

Only read the OP but you need to get a job if you are struggling like this, surely?

and your food bill is exessively high for four people.

have had similar rows with partner, esp chafing as I hate being satm and not having my own ££.

but have settled on weekly shop of £60-100 (family of five, all of whom eat like horses, esp fruit), and then £150 a week in cash on my bedside table so I feel like a whore (joke. well, it works for us).

£30 of that goes on cleaner (after years of doing own cleaning), £80 on petrol (three school runs a day), maybe a rail ticket or two.

BUT STILL, stuff comes up! Birthday presents, coffees, new shoes, after school clubs..

I now write down everything I buy in my diary , so this week for example there's £16 box of printer paper, £19 haircuts, £30 new kettle, £7 birthday bottle for friend and that's me wiped out.

ah I see noodle - very envious of where you live! We live in a shit hole rubbish place where mostly you need to get on a bus to get anywhere (even just to a nice place to walk)

BUt I do not buy any alcohol at all - we are always to knackered to drink and have now got used to not drinking. I suspect I am a few years older than you though too

I do remember 1996 when the great baked bean war was on and me and the then DP used to spend £10 a week on food. We used to have porridge made with water everyday and corned beef hash made with cheap corned beef and made that last as many days as we could and the rest of the time was spent eating 3p tins of beans. DP fastened the big wicker washing basket to his bike and cycled to Tesco - though it was only a ten minute walk anyhow. We used to go through 2 seperate tills so we could get as many 3p tins of bean as possible!! Oh those were the days.......... I lost a lot of weight I seem to remember!

We have 5 dc youngest 13 and manage on about the same including paying insurance car tax ect. But I di think it depends where you live

Oh and bills shopping clothes ect

How much do you spend on petrol/school things? School trips and kids activites (swimming/violin/softplay) cost a bomb for us.

I think 1k per month should be fine. We are a family of 6 and spend between 80 and 100 per week on food. We eat really well with meat days/fish days/some veggie days, lots of veg and fruit and the odd bottle of wine. Clothes/shoes are mostly second hand but in mint condidtion. I cut the kids hair, get my hair cut by a fab but cheap hair dresser, order just a coffee if we visit a cafe and take my own snacks/lunch if we are out and about during the day. I also avoid paying for parking and walk or cycle where pos. I must admit i like to buy nice gifts for people but i always get them in the sales.

However i do have plenty of friends who spend lots more - easily 200 on shopping, then meals out,nice clothes etc.

I'd recomend getting out the money you need for the week and making a note of what you spend. Menu planning really helps too.

James - that was the band!

maxybrown, I just fancy some corned beef hash now. How do you make yours? It's one of those dishes that you get a fair amount of variation.

As an aside, fish and chips seem really expensive now. After not buying them for ages, I bought 2 fish and one chips and it was around £9.

Not read the whole thread, but wondering if you have discussed with your DH how much more you think you need each month?
If it is only a little more, he may agree.
Have you just said it's not enough OP? Or have you been a little more direct with your DH?

It also depends where you live as some parts of the UK are far more expensive than others.

I have to admit that the last time I went out for a coffee with friends was about 18 months ago. DH and I don't drive, never had a car, never had a credit card (and never will) and no debts (all past debts fully paid off), just monthly/weekly bills.

I think some of it is pyschological. When I didn't have much cash I was very careful but when my income went up a bit my spending habits relaxed more than a bit. I felt I had "managed" for long enough and now I was going to enjoy myself. A few hefty credit card bills later I woke up to the reality that I was spending money but not really getting any value for it because my spending was unfocussed and I was just buying stuff because it was superficially nice rather than because I wanted it.

As others have suggested I sat down with a pen and paper worked out what I was spending, worked out a monthly repayment plan to clear the credit cards and stuck to it.

Now I have a much higher income I still budget. One thing that helps me with budgeting is to identify something that I really want to have or do and work out a plan to save up for it. That way you are not just budgeting because you have to; you are budgeting to get something you want.

For example, the trip to the dinosaur exhibition, if you had cut your weekly spending to £240pw and put £10 away for 10 weeks you could have relaxed about going knowing the entry, train and an ice-cream for the kids was covered.