to say it's a struggle for a family of five to live on under a thousand pounds a month?

[yosammitysam]

Me and my husband keep rowing (at this stage only in an ongoing bickering way) about our monthly budget. Basically we have 250quid a week which is supposed to cover food, toiletries, going out (us and the kids), petrol, birthday presents, anything the kids need for school etc etc. I just seem to really struggle with that amount. We spend a minimum of a hundred on a weekly shop (then top this up). My eldest ds is ten and eats like a horse and youngest is only two and still in (bloody dear- thanks to his ecezma) nappies. It doesn't have to cover bills (or one off yearly expenses like holidays, car MOT etc) and we do have seperate money for clothes and shoes, but it's not much so I end up buying smaller things out of my weekly budget.

He says it's ridiculous that we are overdrawn every month- he works full time I am SAHM- as he doesn't really spend much money. I don't FEEL like I spend much either, but all the little bits really add up. We are quite sociable but only really go out or have friends over about once a month and maybe I'll go out for a drink with friends every couple of weeks (if that). It's just that all ther little things really add up- day trips out (esp in school hols), swimming, coffees here and there, a new book for each child etc etc

It's just soooo frustrating, I feel I have to justify myself all the time, but I think in the current climate, it just doesn't go that far. The point was brought home to me when my much younger half sister told me she earns eight hundred pounds a month after giving my parents rent- and she has ALL that to spend on herself !!! My husband just doesn't seem to get it at all. I don't know if he thinks I'm stashing designer shoes and handbags in the garage!

But am I being unreasonable?? I admit I am a bit rubbish at budgeting etc. I generally do a weekly shop then top it up through the week and I think that all adds up. What does everyone else live on?!?

Oh god, sorry so long and the bloody pound sign on the keyboard has broken so have to type out all the numbers! It's just that I just got our bank statement and it's got me really, really down. I know we could have it a lot worse, but I do find it frustarting.

well you can say it but it's not true

YABU.

Our monthly income for everything for a family of 4 is not that much over what you get after your bills are paid.

I actually would disagree with what someone said earlier about not using cash. When I was trying to cut back I took a set amount out each week and knew that was it. A book or coffee shop outing at £5-7 would seem like nothing if you stick it on the card but if its 2/3 of one of your tenners you think again. Maybe do the no cash thing for a month so you can SEE where the money has gone and then try cash only month. Its easy to get through a huge amount without really noticing. DP and I just looked at the bank and we got through £150 in about a day and half, haircut, midweek top up at Tesco, £20 cash out, one or two other random things...

I didn't read all the thread - but what I AM noticing now is that it costs my partner £75 to get to work and back each week in petrol (no choice re public transport as we are rural and so is his job, which is a 45 minute commute away). Petrol seems to be the biggest expense we have after rent and council tax, and it's very annoying and quickly eats up money.

Great thread, picked up some good tips. Here's some of mine:

Use cashback sites. I find quidco the best. Use it for virtually any purchase you make. For example, every year when your annual home/car insurance is due, use the comparison sites (there are about 4 or 5 of them, check moneysavingexpert.com) and jot down the top 5 quotes on each. Then check quidco or topcashback. Chances are one of the top 5 will offer around £50-100 cashback just for clicking via their site. This is paid a couple of months later typically. Quidco costs £5 a year (provided you've earned some cashback). We tend to have around 10 cashbacks a MONTH from quidco, paid directly into DW's bank account. 90% of shops feature on there.

I'm checking the last few months now to give you an idea; online clothes shops, car insurance (£60 cashback), home insurance (similar), B&Q reserve and collect, hotels booked direct and via laterooms (on business credit card!), eBay, Halfords, Vistaprint (calendars with our DS on for Xmas presents), Boots, phone recycling, Glasses Direct, credit card application (only used for cashback, paid off every month), business flights, lovehoney , holidays (got £160 cashback from thomas cook last year), energy switches, broadband switches (£100 cashback from o2 last year), I could go on and on. I have saved over £2000 in the last couple of years from clicking through quidco. Just remember to clear your internet browser cookies after you've found the best deals so that when you click though the cashback site, the company you ultimately buy from thinks it's the first time you've visited their site.

Meal planning. I have created an excel spreadhseet with the 7 days of the week at the top so that we can decide what we want to eat for the week ahead. We try to make a couple of these days so that we can cook a batch and freeze a family portion and freeze it. Beneath the meal planner is a list of every ingredient we would ever need to purchase, then we check the cupboards and see what we need to buy, and cross off the rest, leaving just the items we need. Lately we've found that even taking into account the delivery charge, it works out cheaper to shop online as you're not tempted to offers. We use asda. Tried Ocado but was 20% more expensive and didn't think it was any better quality. Your first online shop gives cashback on quidco too.

Cashback credit cards. Each year we join a new american express card (cancel previous years so we can do this). Last year was mine with DW as 2nd card holder, this year hers with me as 2nd card holder. The benefit (on the present cashback rewards card) is that if you spend £500 a month for the first 3 months you get 5000 bonus points. This equates to around £125 amazon vouchers after the first 3 months of the year (other vouchers available). You get triple points when you use your card in supermarkets. Previous Amex cards have enabled us to time when we apply so that all DS's nursery furniture gave us 5% cashback.

We're not even skint but I love playing the system with the above methods!

I'll post more tips when I think of them.

If you want a copy of the meal planner/shopping list, drop me a message and I'll email it to you.

This thread has made me quite anxious!
I am hoping to be a SAHM and when we did our sums we worked out we would have £1,000 PCM for 'food and fun'.

I thought that was loads and we would easily manage on it. We do only have one DC but even so I'm quite worried now!!

I'm going to start noting down how much I spend over the next couple of months and fingers crossed the sums will work out.

Why worry I eattoomuchcake.
What I see coming out of this thread is that 1k for food and extras is plenty.

Of course its loads FFS.. jeez

Ieattoomuchcake, some folk live on 1k pm for everything (yes, in London too ).

You will cope. How you cope (in terms of what you consider worthy of spending your 1k "fun" budget on) is up to you. But it is possible, it just depends on what your version and comfort level of "coping" is.

In terms of coffees out in town (because sometimes it is nice to... although they do eat the budget....)
you can buy a Starbucks prepaid card and then a plain filter coffee costs £1 when you use it so you could perhaps buy load £5 on it per month and that gives you a weekly treat of a coffee out (and one to spare or use for emergencies!!) it is a small thing but....

I write this is someone who is used to having lots of disposable income coming to the end of 'proper pay' and about to go onto 6 months of SMP. I know I have been very very lucky in the past and now will have to budget!

Thanks guys. Yes you're right it is loads!! I will stop being silly and worrying.

I agree, it is plenty on paper! This thread has made me realsie that it is really about me being very disorganised and also quite laid back about spending money.

A thousand pounds a month is NOT enough to just not think about what you spend and how you spend. I don't feel I buy lots of luxuries etc but all the small things I don't think about add up eg coffee (although I have cut back on that lately!) or perhaps buying a bunch of flowers/nice cake when I visit a friend or a few bits we need in the house. They are examples of things I would buy and not think about. Even though it does seem like a lot, I still need to budget properly.

Also, it's something me and dh need to do together- we don't know what the other one is doing til we look at a bank statement and then it's too late.

Ieattoomuch cake you'll be fine- we had far less than that when we had our first dc and it was fine. For us costs just seem to have crept up and I've just lost track of where everything goes. I do feel like there is always something that needs fixing, replacing etc and I was looking at how bedraggled the garden looks today and thinking I need to get some bedding plants (more money!) and it feels like everything mounts up.

As usual, it's about being organised and effiecient and I'm rubbish at both- I've got a weeks worth of washing to put away as I type this! Everythings always a bit last minute with me. I realise I probably come across as really crap and lazy- I'm not honestly! I wasn't bought up in a very organised family (my dad was self employed and worked very erratically) so household budgeting is a bit alien to me. I have been a sahm for nearly ten years and we've always manged by muddling through but I think with the cost of everything rising, even if you are fairly comfortable you've got to start being a bit more conscious.

I wonder how much really, really rich people get through in a week....?

Sorry that should read DISorganised family! If only they had been organised- might have rubbed off on me!

Maxy, we buy our supermarket's value range (and we're very much alive and kicking ). Usually every 2-3 months we'll do a huge shop of about £70-85 and most other weeks it'll take £30-50 to 'top up' the bigger shop. This all includes the cleaning stuff, toiletries, milk, bread and a few treats like wine or chocolate.

We buy frozen veg because the difference between that and fresh is that frozen doesn't go off as quick as fresh. We have 2 fridge freezers so the 2-3 monthly 'big' shop will fill these up and then we just replace what we use as we go along. This is why it costs so little. Not only that, but we decided to save our loyalty points up until Christmas so we have a good lot to spend then.

We also make use of any bargains too. Dented tins (they usually have a rust-proof lining on the inside), cereals with slightly ripped boxes, ripped/damaged washing tablet boxes etc are always reduced due to damage to the outside packaging, but are fine on the inside, so no damage to the contents.

We also generally get the supermarket own brand products as we don't think it's worth paying extra for a brand name when all we want is the contents. I wouldn't pay 80 or 90p for Napolina tinned chopped tomatoes when, say, Tesco Value or Sainbury value brand to the same job IYSWIM for 30-40p.

This is how we keep our food/cleaning costs down so we can put money away and anytime we spot an opportunity for a bargain we take it.

I always feel a bit of a failure when I read these threads. We meal plan and shop online and have red meat only once a week and my weekly shop (actually every 8 days as works better in terms of our menus) is £100 for food/nappies/dog food and toiletries. Own brand stuff mostly. No alcohol. Both me and dh on diet so no desserts/chocolate etc. How on earth do you all do it on £60 or so :(

You have £250 a WEEK to do all that! I canonly dream of that sort of money. Even when me and DP were both working we didn't even have that a month after all our bills (providing for all 5 of us). Now with me not working, it is going to be a struggle.

Some on here are very lucky and obviously work very hard for what they get, i think people need to stop and think for a moment how well that you really do have it. Sorry if this sounds condescending

YABU, £250 a week sounds plenty to me.

op, i agree with you. its not enough. BUT, everyone comes from a different viewpoint.
for example, i never buy tat like crisps or packaged sweets chocolates as part of the grocery shop. but i will buy salmon because the kids like it.
kids eat a lot. particularly boys as they come into their teen years. and your ds hasnt even started his main growth spurt where he will need new clothes at almost the same rate they did in the first year of life, and this time round, the clothes have vat on them.

1000 a month - we spend way more than that on a family of 4 but luckily we aren't struggling. 1000 isn't that much at all.

I think you are spending way too much. I only have one child and a husband but I only spend 80 a week which buys all food, toiletries,nappies, swimming, out every day after nursery doing something, I go drinking most weekends, clothes etc. I think we live a very decent lifestyle on that so I think you could save loads more money if you wanted to.

Yosammity, you don't sound crap, you sound lovely! It's just that both you and your husband fritter money away, a bit, and the cost of living has gone up and up (my food budget, for two adults and a toddler, is probably three times what it was when we met a decade ago, despite not changing much in its materials).

I agree that it's unfair for your husband to be going on at you about it, if he's buying fancy work lunches and iTunes and insisting on expensive expeditions. I hope he doesn't see it as all his money!

It also sounds like you move in circles where presents and celebrations are really common; flowers when you drop in on a friend, a nice dinner for birthdays, presents for extended family. That does make it hard; I'm trying to cut back at the moment too but they're the difficult things because no-one wants to come across as mean.

Anyway, you've had loads of good advice and it sounds like there's lots of easy ways to cut back. I just wanted to tell you that you're not a crap person!

Really you can't compare. If you are buying value ranges then of course it is easy to shop and spend a smaller amount.

I have £150 a month for food, petrol etc for me, DS, dog and when DH home him as well. I don't do anything else apart from playgroups. It sucks!

Another tip
Do nearly all your shopping online. Not only do you not pick up extras but you can set a budget and adjust what you have accordingly.

If you don't want to go value. We eat really well. We get our meat and fruit and veg delivered from riverford and our total grocery shop still comes in under £350, nearer 320 for 6 of us.This might sound more realistic for you op as you dont need to scrimp, just be more careful.

We could do cheaper by buying elsewhere too but I need to do research about our new area.

noodle on £80 a week you buy all food and go ut drinking and buy clothes? I really am going wrong somewhere! If I did something every day with DS it would cost £3.50 each day just for the bus (unless we're talking free local walk obviously) so a weekly ticket would be £11 a week before anything else. I'm not having a dig - just in awe!

Cymar - I don't buy branded stuff either! Apart from my tea (yorkshire) and always buy it when on offer or shop in home bargains etc. I also buy frozen veg mostly, we never buy alcohol (only time is Christmas) I have NEVER bought expensive tinned tomatoes - although to be fair it is not something I buy very often - DH does not like the sort of meals that can go far like spag bol etc - but to compensate that we often have egg on toast on something like that or a sandwhich (nothing posh)

Cost of milk has now gone down thanks to us getting a local Iceland but we go through a lot of milk - hardly buy cereal, it lasts us ages. PLus I prob only buy 2 loaves of bread a week, if that - so nly £1.50 for the two from iceland. I am flumaxing myself here and looking forward to Monday when I get shopping money so I can see just what I do with it