to say it's a struggle for a family of five to live on under a thousand pounds a month?

[yosammitysam]

Me and my husband keep rowing (at this stage only in an ongoing bickering way) about our monthly budget. Basically we have 250quid a week which is supposed to cover food, toiletries, going out (us and the kids), petrol, birthday presents, anything the kids need for school etc etc. I just seem to really struggle with that amount. We spend a minimum of a hundred on a weekly shop (then top this up). My eldest ds is ten and eats like a horse and youngest is only two and still in (bloody dear- thanks to his ecezma) nappies. It doesn't have to cover bills (or one off yearly expenses like holidays, car MOT etc) and we do have seperate money for clothes and shoes, but it's not much so I end up buying smaller things out of my weekly budget.

He says it's ridiculous that we are overdrawn every month- he works full time I am SAHM- as he doesn't really spend much money. I don't FEEL like I spend much either, but all the little bits really add up. We are quite sociable but only really go out or have friends over about once a month and maybe I'll go out for a drink with friends every couple of weeks (if that). It's just that all ther little things really add up- day trips out (esp in school hols), swimming, coffees here and there, a new book for each child etc etc

It's just soooo frustrating, I feel I have to justify myself all the time, but I think in the current climate, it just doesn't go that far. The point was brought home to me when my much younger half sister told me she earns eight hundred pounds a month after giving my parents rent- and she has ALL that to spend on herself !!! My husband just doesn't seem to get it at all. I don't know if he thinks I'm stashing designer shoes and handbags in the garage!

But am I being unreasonable?? I admit I am a bit rubbish at budgeting etc. I generally do a weekly shop then top it up through the week and I think that all adds up. What does everyone else live on?!?

Oh god, sorry so long and the bloody pound sign on the keyboard has broken so have to type out all the numbers! It's just that I just got our bank statement and it's got me really, really down. I know we could have it a lot worse, but I do find it frustarting.

I know, I agree it does seem like a pretty healthy amount- and we are only about 50quid overdrawn each month so it's not a huge amount. An example of what we spend and how it adds up was half term: we took the kids to the dinosaur exhibition at the 02 which cost about sixty quid for all of us I think plus thirty in train fares. We took a picnic etc but thats still ninety pounds! It was a special treat (only 'proper' outing of half term), but I had already spent 140 at the supermarket for the week as we were all at home for half term. That weekend was my best friends birthday so I got her a pressie ans we went out for a meal. So within a few days the weekly budget was totally bust. There just always seems to be something. This week ds2 has three b.day parties to go to (presents, cards), it's my sisters birthday and the kettles broken. It all adds up!

oh hang on. £1000 pcm AFTER bills and clothes?

i thought it was 1k a month for everything.

i take back my "i'd struggle" comments.

kids days out - optional category, go somewhere free
meals - optional category, don't go on lean weeks
any form of presents - optional category, i don't buy or expect anything from anyone these days

that is how harsh you have to be on 1000pcm for everything. but i gues you have a little bit more leeway if that's your disposable income - massive massive difference in quality of life with that there

I have three dcs.

Ok per week I spend:
£100 on food (ish)
£5 on playgroup
£3 on coffee one day with a friend
£2 after school activity for eldest dc.
£15 on petrol

So that is only £125. This is HALF your budget per week.

Onto that you cold add a tenner for a night out with the girls (we take wine and nibbles to each others houses every month).

We go to three playgroups every week. We also go to a free softplay once every week after school. Big outings are only in the holidays, but these are budgeted for. Presents for dc friends are generally a fiver here and there.

So, the school age child gets to go to school, one AS activity, and a soft play. the middle one goes to preschool, softplay and a playgroup and the youngest goes to three playgroups and a softplay. I would say they have a pretty busy week and are rarely 'bored'. We also go to the park, fed the duck and horses.

I take snacks everywhere (included in the weekly shop) and a thermos of coffee.

SO, £250 per week is a LOT of money.

I would keep 2 current accounts and use the other one for direct debits, standing orders etc.

Have salary paid into account 1 then set up a standing order to be paid into account 2 for bills, dd's etc.

Whatever is left in account 1 is what you have to live on. We always pay a little more than is necessary into account 2 to cover car expenses like tax, mot and servicing.

I think it's loads! Are you going to cafe's or restaurnts a lot? Which supermarket do you use? Do you always buy branded goods? It's easy to save if you keep cafe's to a minimum and buy things like rice, pasta, cleaning products that are own brand.

Sorry, I know we are very lucky compared to some, and thanks for alll the advice. I just have to be a lot more conscious of what I spend. A lot of our friends are better off (have small mortgages etc) and are quite relaxed about money. I suppose I shouldn't compare myself to them and certainly shouldn't act like them.

yosammitysam - you need to be a little bit more organised - you get the dc to make birthday cards for a start and then buy sale toys and books for parties when you see them.

Oh and replace your kettle with an old school gas hob one (if you've got a gas hob obv) - much cheaper than electric.

I really think that 140quid a week at the supermarket is an enormous amount - if I really run mad at the tesco online its still only 75 for 4 of us. Though I dont have to make packed lunches so that could be an issue.

Yes but yosammity, you can't afford it! So either you choose between the dinosaur exhibition and the meal to celebrate a friend's birthday - or you do neither! Kids birthday gifts you buy in advance, when you see things on special offer, and you buy something small (or nothing) for sister. You might even consider whether DS really has to go to three parties. If they are not special friends, then turn the invite down. The kettle you really do need.

We have 12000 a month for everything. Rent, bills, food etc and we are a family of 5.

Yabu

It's things like deciding you cannot afford to go to a dino exhibition AND a party in the same weekend...

What is that saying? 'Champagne tastes on a beer budget!' :) Dont try to 'keep up' with them. Do what makes you happy and that you can afford. There is no reason you have to pay for fun and entertainment.

First you have to find out what you are spending the money on. If you use a debit card rather than cash it is easier to keep track. I track everything that I spend this way (bills are all direct debit so this is just the rest)
So food, travel, vets & health, spending on me (hobbies, haircuts, clothes, other - split again), kids (school expenses, activities, clothes, pocket money), household (car maintenence, DIY, garden etc), gifts, entertainment (meals out, days out etc).

Give yourself an allowance for each section and try to stick with it. Don't forget to put everything against the correct section - so that £5 spent in the supermarket goes against food (this is why using the debit card makes tracking this easier).

My guess is that it is all those supermarket top-ups that really add up. Also the days out probably cost more than you think, get into the habit of taking packed lunches and alternate with free days out. Arranging to meet up with friends in the park for a picnic etc.

That's what I do thinkingkindly...DD had 2 parties last weekend...we didn't go to either. It costs too much for presents and wrapping and travel.

So we asked her "Parties or day out with Granny"

As she never sees Gran, she chose Gran.

Far from hurting her, this teaches her to budget.

Memoo - do you mean £1200?

OP- Don't feel too bad. I am in the same position with the same budget. Out of my money I have to -

Buy all food for us and the animals.
Pay monthly vets bills.
School dinners which are £30 a week.
Buy all clothes and shoes.
Pay for school trips/activities.
Pay for hair cuts/dental fees.
Diesel.
Buy presents.

We never go out, never have take aways, don't smoke and dh only buys alcohol occasionally. On paper he earns a good wage.

£250 a week?? I'd kill for that!!

I have to be harsh and say YABU. I am a SAHM, I have one baby son and my DH brings in about £1700 a month. After bills and petrol we have about £500 left over and that is plenty.

You need to:

Make a shopping list and stick to it (don't top up)
Join the library or buy second hand books for the kids
Buy a coffee machine (a one-off expense that saves you a fortune in the long run) and have friends over for coffee.
Cut down on booze as it's very expensive
Buy second-hand or cheap clothes
Walk rather than use the car if you can.

We have a budget of 1200 for everything except for rent. There are six of us

We struggle but just about cope tbh I thought that we were ding badly because a lot of people manage on a lot less. the main struggle is because of the heating in our rented house eats oil.

It is a cause of friction in our hosuehold though

I am looking at Februry's staemnet and it does seem like a long list of supermarket 'top-ups'. I think I go in for bread and milk and get sucked in by special offers. Oh god I'm like a child- how pathetic! Also, the kids after school clubs and ds1's guitar lessons all needed paying in Feb. theITgirl, that sounds sensible, having a proportion of money for each area. I do a lot of stuff on a budget- we do take picnics, go to the library but I suppose now and then I would take the kids for a pizza or something when we go out. I think I find it hard to say no as well. I have said no to a friend who's going to a swanky hoely in London for birthday tea next month, but I felt awful about it.

Oh yes 1200! I really wish we did have £12000

See reading properly Memoo does fantastically in almost half our budget.

We have a lot of debts. A stupid amount goes out on them but as soon as we get ahead (sold our house to pay things off) something comes along(dh made redundant..again)

Oh and no way should you be buying cards for children - they cost at least a pound each and they go straight in the bin. Also, I never ever buy presents for friends - there's an understanding between us that we just wish each other happy birthday, go out for a drink if convenient and that's it. Presents are a luxury and shouldn't be required.

Cross posted with hundreds of you

£1000 a month AFTER bills and mortage is more than enough for anyone to live quite comfortably and eat well.

Putting everything on your card to record it runs the risk that you will pay interest on your card unneccessarily.

Martin Lewis and the bods at MSE advise that if you don't know what you spend your money on you should keep a spending diary. This is a posh name for a notebook (Co-Op do lovely little plastic ones with elastic on for £1). You simply write the date at the top of the page and write in every penny that leaves your charge as it happens. It's also a good idea to check your bank account weekly and write in the DD's and mortgage payments. Start one right now, you will start to see patterns pretty quickly and within a month you will have total financial transparency.

Can you online shop Yosam? It's so much easier to shop to a budget and not be sucked in by tempting offers!