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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To punch an old lady right in the kisser?...

175 replies

SquishyBumsMum · 16/03/2011 16:10

Ok, ok, so I would never actually punch an old lady, or anyone for that matter..
But AIBU to be extremely pissed off that an old woman approached me in a coffee shop to say how cute DS was etc and then proceeded to tell me how much she felt sorry for me ruining my life at this age with kids, and she bets it's hard coping on my own but then how nice it must be to just be able to live off of everyone else's hard earned taxes and claim benefits. Ooh and what are the council houses in this area like as her friends daughter is moving into one soon...

FGS yes, I'm a young mother, but apart from working tax credits and child benefit, I don't get any benefits! My DP and I work very hard for what we have and are proud that we stand on our own two feet.

Not that there's anything wrong with being on benefits, it just pisses me off that people seem to see a young mum and assume I don't know who the dad is/can't possibly be in a good relationship/live purely on benefits.

I don't see old people and instantly think "Hey look, a demented, incontinent, old biddy!"

So aibu, or should I just accept that this is what people think of younger mothers?

OP posts:
barmbrack · 16/03/2011 16:11
Biscuit
MadMommaMemoo · 16/03/2011 16:12

How old are you?

Original poster
SquishyBumsMum · 16/03/2011 16:14
  1. For the record, finished my A-levels, had already decided university wasn't for me despite good grades and then found out I was pregnant etc
OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 16/03/2011 16:15

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BitOfFun · 16/03/2011 16:16

Where are all these strange old ladies that MNers speak of? I have never met a single one who has commented on anything, much less been rude. Were you on a Bristol bus that day, by any chance?

GiddyPickle · 16/03/2011 16:16

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MrsBananaGrabber · 16/03/2011 16:17

Did that really happen.

Original poster
SquishyBumsMum · 16/03/2011 16:17

I was in the middle of feeding DS his bottle so couldn't exactly leave right then, I just vaguely smiled and nodded until she got the hint and buggered off.
I don't think everyone sees young mothers like this, most people couldn't be nicer, I just seem to encounter major judginess from the older generation :/

OP posts:
Bloodymary · 16/03/2011 16:17

The trouble with (some) of these old dears is they think that they can say what they like and get away with it.
(Am looking forward to it).Smile

MarioandLuigi · 16/03/2011 16:18

Really? Hmm

GiddyPickle · 16/03/2011 16:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SquishyBumsMum · 16/03/2011 16:19

And yes, it did really happen, which is probably why I'm having a bit of a rant.

OP posts:
Ormirian · 16/03/2011 16:19

LOL BOF Grin

hocuspontas · 16/03/2011 16:19

Interestingly, quite a lot of posters on here do see old people and instantly think 'Hey look, a demented, incontinent old biddy' and keep their babies away from them etc. So tit for tat I suppose...

MadamDeathstare · 16/03/2011 16:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 16/03/2011 16:20

Yeeeah, but she did say how cute your DS was.

What're you complaining about?

(Grin)

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/03/2011 16:21

Really? Hmm

Are you sure that this old lady made an assumption that you were on your own, etc.?

I find that older people tend to be quite sympathetic and often just want the opportunity for a chat to relieve their own boredom and for some human contact.

It's a very odd thing that somebody would compliment you on your children and then say something like that? It doesn't make any sense.

MadamDeathstare · 16/03/2011 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LessNarkyPuffin · 16/03/2011 16:21

You will probably encounter a lot of comments that annoy you over the course of your baby's life, so I wouldn't sweat the well meant (though obviously inappropriate) ones too much.

If it ever happens again just say, "Actually I'm 25 but I have a really great skincare regime."

MrsBananaGrabber · 16/03/2011 16:22

I would have corrected her assumptions in a really condesending tone. It's funny because I had my first DS at 21 and I don't recall any judgement, I was married and owned my own home, but now DS1 is 9 I have been asked how old I am as I look too young to have him Shock it's just so sodding rude. I am still married have 2 more dc's and a much much bigger house thanks.

MadamDeathstare · 16/03/2011 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadMommaMemoo · 16/03/2011 16:23

Wait til you're 36, you'll be paying people to publicly declare how young you look

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 16/03/2011 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

MaisyMooCow · 16/03/2011 16:24

The thing with old people is that they speak their minds God bless 'em. I had an old guy tut at my FCUK t-shirt once, he was really offended.

Original poster
SquishyBumsMum · 16/03/2011 16:24

I didn't think it made sense either, it's like she saw him, started saying how cute he was, then looked at me..
and yes she definitely did make that assumption, and some comment to that effect.
I have nothing against older people in general, I used to spend a lot of time with my Nanna helping at her church groups etc and they were all lovely.. probably a shame none of the churchiness rubbed off on me Grin

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