To punch an old lady right in the kisser?...

[SquishyBumsMum]

Ok, ok, so I would never actually punch an old lady, or anyone for that matter..
But AIBU to be extremely pissed off that an old woman approached me in a coffee shop to say how cute DS was etc and then proceeded to tell me how much she felt sorry for me ruining my life at this age with kids, and she bets it's hard coping on my own but then how nice it must be to just be able to live off of everyone else's hard earned taxes and claim benefits. Ooh and what are the council houses in this area like as her friends daughter is moving into one soon...

FGS yes, I'm a young mother, but apart from working tax credits and child benefit, I don't get any benefits! My DP and I work very hard for what we have and are proud that we stand on our own two feet.

Not that there's anything wrong with being on benefits, it just pisses me off that people seem to see a young mum and assume I don't know who the dad is/can't possibly be in a good relationship/live purely on benefits.

I don't see old people and instantly think "Hey look, a demented, incontinent, old biddy!"

So aibu, or should I just accept that this is what people think of younger mothers?

I grew up in a small village in the west of Scotland. Elderly women like that do exist. My gran was terrible for passing comments to people and her friends were just as bad. It's just their generation. I definitely believe the OP.

But I think that a couple of people have said ' I don't believe you' and a few people have said ' this is weird. Constant tales of inevitably old women saying weird things. I never see that'
Those two things are not the same.

I had a middle aged cashier in the supermarket tell me 'Are they all yours?' (3 children, hardly Dugger territory) and when i affirmed they were told me: 'You're too young to have all those children'

I was 26 so hardly a teenage mother, my dd was born just before my 21st birthday and dp and I have been together for almost 9 years.

I just threw her a face and walked out.

I've been lucky that 99% of the time I get positive comments but I have had old ladies examine my babies in their prams to ascertain whether they were appropriately blanketed, I've had an older woman in a charity shop snatch ds2 out of my arms for a cuddle resulting in hysterics, I've been told off for using a sling as my baby was apparently suffocating and poor dp gets filthy looks when he's out with the kids as he's a crusty, bearded type and certain people seem to get really upset watching him walking through a supermarket with his children.

ask me .... sorry, kids fighting next to me so concentrating on what I'm typing is difficult

Yeah, Pag, I agree. I was aiming my post at the few that questioned the veracity of the OP.

Wow, this thread was horrible to read.

((hijack))

"PM me you cunts" just doesnt have the same ring as "CAT me you cunt" does it?

I believe the op.

It happened to me in our local post office about 10 years. I had just turned 22 (but looked younger)and had my 12 week old ds in the pram. I got chatting to someone else in the queue, I was telling this person about my lack of sleep etc etc and this old lady piped up who was behind me and said oh you young teen mums you don't know you're born, you need to get a job and stop living in council houses and work like the rest of us.

I said can I just stop you there because a I'm 22, b, I own my house with my long term partner and c I've just gone back to a full time job (back then you only got 3 months maternity leave) so please mind your own business.

She was

She has been the only one though, most old ladies are lovey (apart from my nan who is vile, but thats another story and not for this thread)

I have to say I have more problems with older people being rude than younger ones, but it may be a reflection on where I live.

ha ha, sheepgomeep my Nan is also vile, and I would totally expect her to behave that way towards strangers in public!

I tried "CAT me you cunt" on a thread the other week and got accused of being so out of touch that I probably still wear bootcut jeans :(

why cant the woman just be a woman.why does she have to be old?you wouldn't have had a title 'aibu to punch a middle aged/fat/thin/tall/small/black/white/green lady' would you.

i got comments from a grumpy midwife in the hospital where i had dd.i was 21 but she assumed i was alot younger,she didn't hide her disgust.i let it go over my head.

I still wear bootcut jeans, I like bootcut jeans

Bizarre over reaction here. Twitterjoketrial anyone?

Heh, Vicky

Cat me you cunts. Ah, those were the days!

I believe the OP. One of my grans was a specialist in disapproval and for sure would have said things like that. (although to me it sounds like the woman was trying to be friendly and misjudging it spectacularly).

I was nearly 40 when I had our PFB. And there is a massive age difference between DH and I (he is older). So I have been on the receving end of quite severe judgmental attitudes also based on that. (Although sometimes I have fun playing up to the 'trophy wife' sterotype.

someone will always judge you for something. And last week I could have written a ranty venty type heading like the OP when a friend got stuck into me for DS still using a dummy. I was quite tempted. And besides, violent language is hardly ahem - unknown - on MN.

Just because you're old, doesn't mean you're nice.... just means you got old!

Some old people are vile though...again just because you are old doesn't make you sweet and nice

DSis was teenage mum. I well believe that the OP got this comment. DSis had it all the time.

I believe it too.

I had one old lady moan about me for having my buggy on the bus. I ignored her.
Another lady stood huffing and puffing when I came out of a shop with DS.

God knows why.

Yeah some old women were nagging about me at the bus stop, loud enough for me to hear, about how in their day (ffs) they had to fold up prams and carry babies onto buses as well as shopping/mangels/iron anvils for husband's dinner etc etc.

I smiled sweetly and said "Aw, us mums are lucky now that people are nice and do things to make life a bit easier." They did cat's bum mouth at me which I delighted in

I know.

I should say "don't you have anything better to do?"