To punch an old lady right in the kisser?...

[SquishyBumsMum]

Ok, ok, so I would never actually punch an old lady, or anyone for that matter..
But AIBU to be extremely pissed off that an old woman approached me in a coffee shop to say how cute DS was etc and then proceeded to tell me how much she felt sorry for me ruining my life at this age with kids, and she bets it's hard coping on my own but then how nice it must be to just be able to live off of everyone else's hard earned taxes and claim benefits. Ooh and what are the council houses in this area like as her friends daughter is moving into one soon...

FGS yes, I'm a young mother, but apart from working tax credits and child benefit, I don't get any benefits! My DP and I work very hard for what we have and are proud that we stand on our own two feet.

Not that there's anything wrong with being on benefits, it just pisses me off that people seem to see a young mum and assume I don't know who the dad is/can't possibly be in a good relationship/live purely on benefits.

I don't see old people and instantly think "Hey look, a demented, incontinent, old biddy!"

So aibu, or should I just accept that this is what people think of younger mothers?

Am I the only one who gets a tingly thrill when the checkout person once in a blue moon asks for proof of age?

If you and your dp stand on your "own two feet" does that mean you're both amputees with only one leg each?

Apocalypse if you don't want to believe me that's fine, but I don't want a pat on the head, I only mentioned it so no one would say "well it is a shame you didn't finish your education" because I had done.

It wasn't this man was it MaisyMooCow?

Puffin, I would but it never happens!!

Haha MadMommaMemoo I now have a weird image of us kinda strapped together with one leg each..

I have nothing against older people in general

And what could you have against them? Oh I know, they all smell of Lavender and wee.

My friend used to get this, she was a teen mother. She worked hard when her kids were little and still does. She used to work days as a cleaner while attending night college classes for a business and admin Btec because she wanted to continue on in her education. She never claimed a penny of benefit but did get a council flat which she later bought and now owns her own home (has done for many years now actually, time flies). She has been with her DP (father to all her children) for just under 15 years and always believed that her family didn't need benefits because they were both working and could do it on thier own. Now they are an older couple, 3 kids and still very much in love.

She used to get stereotyped like this all the time and recieved nasty remarks or disaproving looks and gestures in the street. Even when she was giving birth to her first she got treated very obviously badly by some hospital staff. But that was ten years ago now. Shame people are so narrow minded.

BTW this doesn't mean people who claim benefits are wrong just highlighting a misguided stereotype.

LessNarky Love it :)

she was probably a tory

Thanks for that LDN it's just so annoying being stereotyped!

Squishy... In that case, you'd be well within your rights to be direct and just say that you find her comments quite rude and that she doesn't know you enough to make assumptions. Then just say, "excuse me", and walk away.

I generally love older people and have a lot of time for them but there are always some who, for whatever reason, go out of their way to be nasty. I knew one such old lady (who has died recently), who used to compliment me on my 'lovely pale skin' adding that it "was a shame that no colours suited it" and I should stick to black. That was one of the milder complisults as I called them.

"These old ladies are wily, like anglerfish lurking in the oceanic abyss."

lolol!

Thats cool Squishy

Why anyone would look at a 19 year and think this person had not finished their most basic education, is beyond me, even if there was a baby on the lap. Dont most people start uni at 17 these days?

Lying I wish I had done, I think I was just too gobsmacked to function properly at the time.
And I get the pasty comments from my Nanna haha, like "Why don't you ever go outside to get a bit of colour?".. This coming from someone who's face matches her leather handbag.

Reading your posts, however, makes me wonder ..... (regards education, just to spell that out)

complisults - I love it!!! May I use this?

You're sounding nicer every post.

I really don't understand why anyone would think I'd bother to make this up. I just thought MN was somewhere it was ok to vent and have a bit of a rant once in a while, but I guess not.

As for my education, I took 5 A-levels (Poltics, Economics, Psychology, English Language and General Studies) and got all A's apart from a B in English.

If you don't believe me, that's up to you.

You must be so proud of your achievements.

Watching that programme 'When Teenage Meets Old Age' does tend to confirm that many older people have stereotypical judgemental views about young people (although the oldies in the programme changed their perspective to a more positive assessment after spending time with some young people)...so I find OP's tale entirely plausible.

I also distinctly remember some miserable old fella remarking with a nasty sneer on his face "it's like a bloody menagerie in 'ere" when my then 3 month old baby was crying as I was waiting to be served in a shop - git!