to phone my ex over something he wrote on DDs FB wall.

[SmellsLikeTeenStrop]

DD1 logged on to FB and noticed that her status update said ''DD1 has a smelly bum''. She didn't write it, couldn't have wrote it because at the time it was posted we were all at my sisters.

DD1 had been at my exes earlier on that day and she said she'd used facebook. She never logs out properly and when I'm logging on to facebook I usually find myself on her page instead of my own so I strongly suspect that my ex when he logged on decided to have a bit of 'fun'.

Well mumsnet jury, would I be unreasonable to phone my ex up, ask him if he has done this and if he has would IBU to tear him another one for embarrassing DD.

Profers a bar of soap to HerBeX... you know what to do.

At least I gave you a nice Strawberry Shortcake-fragranced soap, not Hyacinth as I would for some others here.

Hello me!

Hello other me!

"Anyone who thinks so clearly doesn't have a very adept understanding of relationships" - Seriously? Do you not think that's a much bigger, sweeping, insulting overreaction than someone saying that they find a particular action (not a person) "slightly creepy"?

I think the problem is that people read "creepy" and assume that it's used to mean "pervy" or "evidence of a completely horrible and dangerous person", or God knows what.

When I agreed with myself Rhinestone that posting joking comments about your 13 year old's bum on Facebook for the amusement of her friends at her expense is a creepy thing to do, I did not mean any of the above.

From dictionary.reference.com:

Creepy ?adjective, creep·i·er, creep·i·est.

1. having or causing a creeping sensation of the skin, as from horror or fear: a creepy ghost story.
2. that creeps: a creepy insect.
3. Slang . of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a person who is a creep; obnoxious; weird.

See definition 3, the slang one which I think was in use on this thread. Yes, I do think that humiliating your 13 year old for a laugh is obnoxious and weird. I think that quite possibly it's an indication that the father was acting like a creep.

In case anyone's concerned, my understanding of relationships seems to be adept enough to keep my own ones pretty healthy and rewarding, and generally based on mutual respect.

sockpuppet army.

Why the extraordinary insults?

Why sockpuppets?

Is everyone who agrees with you a sockpuppet as well Pixie?

Or is it just those on the opposing side of the argument?

Sheesh.

Oi, HerBex, Cloudy! I actually really like the idea of a sockpuppet army! Are you two in?

Bagsy I'm Captain Angora.

We can declare war on people who have a sense of humour as we obviously don't.

LOL I have a ramrod straight back, due to having a pole up it to steady me. I can be the Colonel.

Sorry, no armies for me. I'm a bit of a loner, what with being inadept at understanding relationships it just makes things easier

I don't know what argument I'd be so desperate to 'win' that I'd create sock puppets to appear and (eloquently, articulately, wittily) agree with me, but I think it would have to be a lot more significant to my life than someone else's father's grade-school sense of humour.

I think I'm finished with this thread now - when you start researching definitions of 'creep' to demonstrate to strangers that it doesn't just mean 'perv', you know you've been sucked in a little too far.

I'd bet that OP's dd and her creepy dad haven't given this half as much thought.

i agree with me!

ROFL I agree with me too....

Well, you've certainly been busy....

It was just a silly thing he posted, not anything really embarassing
Rhinestone-you are totally bonkers!

Blimey, is this still going on?

Princess - the DD found it embarrassing so it was embarrassing to her.

I'm not bonkers; I just have a different point of view to you.

You are intolerant and small minded.

Except of course whether it was embarrassing wasnt the question.....

The question was whether she should phone up her ex to have a go at him. The majority view is that no she shouldnt as it is pretty normal Dad/family behaviour.

Yes the majority view is that it's normal and OK to embarrass children and dismiss their feelings and anyone who thinks it's not, is bonkers.

Nice.

Oh HerBeX have a

Surely one defines 'normal' by what is accepted generally by the majority!!

Yes tyzer that's true, that is the definition of normal.

Doesn't mean it's right though.

100 years ago, it was normal to beat your wife if she pissed you off enough.

20 years ago, it was normal to see children being battered in the street by irate parents. (Still is in some supermarkets.)

It may well still be normal to ignore and minimise the way children feel because they aren't adults and so we don't have to acknowldge or validate their feelings. If people like being normal that's up to them. I personally prefer to be abnormal.

You, my dear, are the type of person who makes me want to headbutt my desk.

The child is not scarred for life.

She, her father, her mother, her friends, her relatives and in fact everyone she comes into contact with know that she has not got a smelly bum, she simply has an embarrassing dad.

By now, she has forgotten it. Guaranteed.

I am not leaving this thread as my 14 year old DD is downstairs with torn ligaments in her ankle and I want to go and say 'Do you need anything, Crip?'

No doubt I will scar her for life. Hey ho.

now leaving this thread FFS. Fat fingers again.