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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to phone my ex over something he wrote on DDs FB wall.

201 replies

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 06/03/2011 21:28

DD1 logged on to FB and noticed that her status update said ''DD1 has a smelly bum''. She didn't write it, couldn't have wrote it because at the time it was posted we were all at my sisters.

DD1 had been at my exes earlier on that day and she said she'd used facebook. She never logs out properly and when I'm logging on to facebook I usually find myself on her page instead of my own so I strongly suspect that my ex when he logged on decided to have a bit of 'fun'.

Well mumsnet jury, would I be unreasonable to phone my ex up, ask him if he has done this and if he has would IBU to tear him another one for embarrassing DD.

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 07/03/2011 10:28

Because chances are HerBex, he didnt mean to do it! He is a grown man, he has never been a teenage girl so i wouldnt expect him to know how its ok to muck about at home in private saying she has a smelly bum, but not infront of her friends! Men dont understand women at the best of times, never mind teenage girls. I struggle to understand the way my 13 yr dd's mind works, and I used to be one ffs!

What is pissing me off is the assumption that he did it on purpose to upset her. He made a mistake and misjudged a situation, have you never done that? And the dd, being 13 and being normal, over reacted. Did you never do that as a child either? I know I did!

nzshar · 07/03/2011 10:31

Have just read the whole thread and while I agree it was a silly thing to do I think your use of the word creepy Rhinestone is completely ott. That immediately makes it sound that the dad was sinister in his actions and I really think it was a silly immature joke. And maybe this will teach a lesson to the ops dd to log off properly in the future.

IHateLivingHere · 07/03/2011 10:32

OMG! I can't believe people think that what he wrote is bad! You should see the things my horrible 21 year old son writes on my status, given half a chance Grin

My friends all know exactly when I've been fraped (that awful word Hmm) and usually comment on the fact that I've stupidly left myself logged in and deserve everything I get....

OP, it's just a laugh and is funny, your DD is lucky she has a dad with a sense of humour.

simonedeboudoir · 07/03/2011 10:40

It's an inappropriate thing for a dad to post on the internet about his 13 year old daughter, imo

Though I would view this act more as childish / pathetic than sinister / creepy.

I also think 13 is too young for facebook

tyzer2001 · 07/03/2011 10:50

My son (20) left his Fb logged in the other day and I changed it to 'XXX' is off for sone hot c*ck action'.

He then changed mine to 'Oh god I just shit myself'.

He won that round, as none of his friends believed he was gay but lots of mine believed I was incontinent.

It's a bit of fun. Inappropriate? Only if you read far more into stuff than ever was there.

IHateLivingHere · 07/03/2011 10:55

Tyzer2001 that is exactly the sort of thing I was talking about...... Grin

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 07/03/2011 11:06

Wow. Smelly bum is a phrase liable to require therapy, is it? Best get saving then, as both DS's are regularly called stinky, smelly, bum head etc. Hardly the most embarassing thing in the world, is it?

BaggedandTagged · 07/03/2011 11:24

The dad in question is clearly an alcoholic, gas-lighting, passive aggressive, stonewalling, control freak.

I think your DD should sue.

EricNorthmansMistress · 07/03/2011 11:28

tyzer Grin

My best mate changed mine to 'Eric likes it up the bum' and my DBro was horrified that he got the blame for it....that was funny

strandedpolarbear · 07/03/2011 11:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

manicbmc · 07/03/2011 11:57

Haven't read all. But maybe she'll consider logging out next time?

I did a similar thing to my dd not long ago and got told off by her because she said there are people on her FB that aren't very nice. I had a chat with her about why the hell she'd want to be friends with people like that and she deleted a load of them.

She is always nicking my FB and Rickrolling me. And everytime I leave the laptop for one minute this is what I return to:

[]

manicbmc · 07/03/2011 11:58

Damn

HerBeX · 07/03/2011 12:00

I knew I'd be told to lighten up at some point.

Look, if he didn't mean to upset the girl, then he's really stupid isn't he?

Is the rest of the world this unintelligent? really?

I'm so glad I live on another planet. I really am. Grin

tyzer2001 · 07/03/2011 12:02

So is everyone really stupid who doesn't realise when someone else is a bit over-sensitive?

After all, we didn't mean to upset you, but we seem to have managed it.

HerBeX · 07/03/2011 12:03

You haven't upset me at all, what makes you say that?

I just think that anyone who embarrases their child in public, who doesnt' realise that their child will be upset by that, is intellectually challenged, to say the least.

simonedeboudoir · 07/03/2011 12:29

Fraping is a horrible term I can't believe grown women are using it here

Come to think about it I don't understand what grown women are doing on facebook anyway but that's a whole other thread Smile

There's a big difference between calling a family member 'smelly bum' to their face and posting it on the internet, imo.

And strandedpolarbear.. er.. she's 13 so clearly is too young for it actually

tyzer2001 · 07/03/2011 12:30

I perdsonally think one should tell one's child A) not to be embarrassed, it's really not a biggy and B) to log out in future.

I think the whole 'the man is intellectually challenged' thing is ridiculous.

Life is hard. People tease. This was very, very minor.

HerBeX · 07/03/2011 12:35

But why are you focusing on teh reaction of the child, rather than the behaviour of the adult?

I'm just a bit mystified.

tyzer2001 · 07/03/2011 12:38

Because the reaction of the child is disproportionate to the actions of the adult.

This would have happened if she had left her FB logged in with any of her mates around. It is a VERY common occurrence of FB - in fact, it's expected.

So why focus on the fact that is was her father who did it?

HerBeX · 07/03/2011 12:39

Because it's not her father's role to act like her silly mates.

tyzer2001 · 07/03/2011 12:39

In fact, - (hit send too soon) - if her mates had done it they'd prob have written something far more embarrassing, along the lines of 'xxx fancies xxx so much'.

Bogeyface · 07/03/2011 12:39

Because it was a FUCKING JOKE!!! It wasnt meant maliciously and I am sure he will apologise to the dd when she tells him it upset her! FFS it isnt as if he posted intimate details of her life, it was obviously meant to be a joke and he misunderstood how sensitive girls of that age are!

And you say that the father is stupid!

I give up.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/03/2011 12:40

Why would anybody judge others to be 'unintelligent' merely because they don't share the same views?

Some people are so very earnest in trying to din their views into the heads of others. People have different opinions, it doesn't make a differing one any less valid. If I really felt like that, I'd probably set up my own forum and spend all day agreeing with myself. Confused

tyzer2001 · 07/03/2011 12:41

'Not her father's role'? To have fun, to play about? WTF are fathers for?

Seriously now, get a grip.

I tease my kids, they tease me.

We have a good relationship. Occasionally one of us oversteps the mark, and when we realise, we apologise. Often the 'wounded party' then comes along later and say 'Thanks for apologising, I probably did over-react really'.

It's called family life.

Bogeyface · 07/03/2011 12:41

I bet you are right laugh at parties HerBex with that "sense of humour" Hmm

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