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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to phone my ex over something he wrote on DDs FB wall.

201 replies

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 06/03/2011 21:28

DD1 logged on to FB and noticed that her status update said ''DD1 has a smelly bum''. She didn't write it, couldn't have wrote it because at the time it was posted we were all at my sisters.

DD1 had been at my exes earlier on that day and she said she'd used facebook. She never logs out properly and when I'm logging on to facebook I usually find myself on her page instead of my own so I strongly suspect that my ex when he logged on decided to have a bit of 'fun'.

Well mumsnet jury, would I be unreasonable to phone my ex up, ask him if he has done this and if he has would IBU to tear him another one for embarrassing DD.

OP posts:
Megatron · 06/03/2011 21:59

Good grief rhinestone who has been unpleasant? No one as far as I can see.

GoodDaysBadDays · 06/03/2011 21:59

Sorry, took way too long typing that!

Rhinestone, aren't most ex's twats? That's often why they are ex's Grin

Op admitted she doesn't see her exh objectively because of this

Original poster
SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 06/03/2011 21:59

''Think she should be able to trust her parents not to embarrass her intentionally.''

I agree but thinking about it, any complaint is probably best coming from her otherwise it would be me 'interfering' and 'causing issues when there are none'.

OP posts:
HerBeX · 06/03/2011 22:00

I wouldn't phone him about it, there's no point as he's obviously a cunt.

I am slightly disheartened that so many people think it's OK to embarrass children in public. I think they have a right to their dignity.

I bet no-one who thinks it's all good fun would like it if someone did similar on their facebook.

Rhinestone · 06/03/2011 22:01

Yeah, me too HerBex.

Original poster
SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 06/03/2011 22:02

''Maybe she shouldn't be using fb yet if she get's upset easily?''

TBH I can't think of many people who would be completely happy if they found out that somebody had hijacked their account and posted a stupid update. She was a bit pissed off - this is abnormal how exactly?

OP posts:
kitkat1000 · 06/03/2011 22:02

i think its just a joke, not creepy! but really think she's too young for fb (more so unsupervised), it may be recommended for 14+ but that doesn't mean its okay (but another arguement!)

Megatron · 06/03/2011 22:02

My battery is going so my final word to some (you know who you are) on this may offend but for god's sake UNCLENCH.

Bogeyface · 06/03/2011 22:03

She is 13 and he is her dad. She would probably have thought it hilarious if her friend did it, but as he is her dad then the default is "mortified" because parents are only here to embarrass!

I agree that she should sort it out with her dad herself, as the OP is going to let her do. And as for it being creepy and inappropriate, well I think that says more about the way that posters mind works than the father/daughter relationship.

Mentioning bums to his dd doesnt make him a paedophile you know!

follyfoot · 06/03/2011 22:03

Its not creepy in the least, its a Dad mucking about with his daughter. If she's upset, she can remove it with a single click. Like Megatron, my late Dad used to tease me all the time, often with toilet humour. It was nothing to to with him not respecting me, we used to laugh endlessly together.

Yeah let her ring him tomorrow if she is still uspet. Doubt she will be by then though.

GoodDaysBadDays · 06/03/2011 22:04

HerBeX, I do use fb (to my shame) as do my 2 teens and this happens all the time. Like it or not, it is part of fb culture and does make you more wary of internet security.

DuelingFanjo · 06/03/2011 22:04

yabu

Magicmayhem · 06/03/2011 22:05

isn't this called fraping?
If my kids don't sign out I tend to write
"I love my mum very much, she is wonderful... etc

I find it embarresses them more than saying they have a smelly bum..

agree she should log out, no big deal, just delete it, don't get involved.

Rhinestone · 06/03/2011 22:05

Megatron - seriously, I really don't value your opinion so I won't be taking your advice.

sourdoughface · 06/03/2011 22:06

my son logged in on my phone and posted some cringy comments, little darling lol

HerBeX · 06/03/2011 22:07

I just can't understand why anyone would do this.

If one of my friends came round and left their facebook on, it wouldn't occur to me to write silly messages on it.

Why would I?

Sorry to sound like an adult, but I'm really confused about this. Why would you not respect someone's space?

sourdoughface · 06/03/2011 22:08

because its a silly fb game

everyone does it, its the law

gordyslovesheep · 06/03/2011 22:08

if somebody saying she has a smelly bum on FB is enough to send her into a weeping inconsolable mess maybe she is too young to have a FB account :) or to be online unsupservised?

seriously he was a wee bit immature but you are over reacting - if SHE found it upsetting she should challenge him

I call my kids smelly bum all the time - they cope

GoodDaysBadDays · 06/03/2011 22:10

lol, sourdough! I typed that it is fb law but thought i'd get mocked for that phrase so deleted it!

FairyMum · 06/03/2011 22:11

It must be one of her friends who have done this. Surely this cannot be a grown-up and a father doing this to her daughter? If it is, he sounds like he has the mental age of a 3 year-old. Scary.

wellwisher · 06/03/2011 22:12

YWBU to call him - even if your DD's upset, at 13 she can fight her own battles! Maybe he was trying to teach her a lesson about logging out properly...

FabbyChic · 06/03/2011 22:13

It is certainly not creepy, it is funny, and it will teach her to log out, if she cannot log out her FB account is a free for all.

Have a laugh with your ex about it don't give him grief.

Rhinestone · 06/03/2011 22:14

Really quite shocked at all the adults who are finding this funny when the 13 year old it happened to is upset and definitely did not find it funny.

follyfoot · 06/03/2011 22:18

Never made a joke then it turns out the other person didnt actually find it funny then Rhinestone? It happens. That doesnt necessarily make the original joke shocking.

Teenage girls are the ultimate drama queens (I know all about that). She will be fine. And she will remember to log out in future I suspect....

usualsuspect · 06/03/2011 22:19

I dread to think what my ds would write on my wall if I left my fb logged on Grin