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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to phone my ex over something he wrote on DDs FB wall.

201 replies

SmellsLikeTeenStrop · 06/03/2011 21:28

DD1 logged on to FB and noticed that her status update said ''DD1 has a smelly bum''. She didn't write it, couldn't have wrote it because at the time it was posted we were all at my sisters.

DD1 had been at my exes earlier on that day and she said she'd used facebook. She never logs out properly and when I'm logging on to facebook I usually find myself on her page instead of my own so I strongly suspect that my ex when he logged on decided to have a bit of 'fun'.

Well mumsnet jury, would I be unreasonable to phone my ex up, ask him if he has done this and if he has would IBU to tear him another one for embarrassing DD.

OP posts:
HerBeX · 07/03/2011 12:41

I think there's something a bit off about her dad butting in on that bit of her social life. It's all a bit trendy dad being excruciating.

I suppose FB have provided teenagers with one more outlet to be embarrassed by their parents...

HerBeX · 07/03/2011 12:42

You know nothing about my sense of humour Bogeyface.

I suspect it might be slightly more sophisticated than that of the OP's ex though.

I will make no comment about your's.

tyzer2001 · 07/03/2011 12:43

Parents are always going to be an embarrassment. So it was, is and always shall be. Changing someone's FB status is just the modern equivalent of licking your hanky and rubbing at your child's face outside school.(thanks for that, mum Hmm )

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/03/2011 12:46

... or singing in the car when school friends are being given a lift home... not just absently caterwauling but real 'X'Factor audition stylee... Grin

Bogeyface · 07/03/2011 12:47
Biscuit
tyzer2001 · 07/03/2011 12:47

Oh - I do that.

Grin
ohanotherone · 07/03/2011 12:55

At thirteen, at my comphrehensive being called "smelly bum" even by your dad would be the least of your worries. All she needs to do is say my "sad dad did it to teach me a lesson about logging out". She will now log out each time. If some people decide to take the piss more then she needs to laugh it off. Honestly, some people need to understand that the real world is hard (not the OP, can understand wanting a more mature ex hubby). She will be more resilient and able to cope as she gets older.

lilsmate · 07/03/2011 13:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

HerBeX · 07/03/2011 13:03

Look I don't think this kid will be irreperably damaged by this.

I am just pretty amazed that everyone thinks this guy's behaviour is normal.

But I suppose in a country where the circulation of the Sun is much higher than that of the Times, it is very wrong of me to be so amazed.

Of course stupidity and crassness is normal, what the hell was I thinking of. Grin

Youllskimmer · 07/03/2011 13:06

HerBex

What's the view like from up there?

VinegarTits · 07/03/2011 13:09

am i the only one thinking that rhinestone and herbex are one in the same?

just a dad having a laff with his dd as far as i can see

creepy? get a life!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/03/2011 13:09

Youllskimmer.. I don't think it's a view as much as an illusion, or even delusion perhaps...

HerBeX · 07/03/2011 13:13

Um, no I'm not Rhinestone.

I have a life thank you.

It's um, elevated thanks Youllskimmer. Grin

Camerondiazepam · 07/03/2011 13:14

Valuable lesson in Internet security, innit? No harm done, except to some people's blood pressure, apparently Confused

Bringonthegoat · 07/03/2011 13:15

I think the dad acted like a disrespectful idiot - he's not a child and should be setting an example re personal boundaries.

Calling her smelly bum at home would be a laugh, posting it to all & sundry on fb is pathetic and unkind.

As for 'frape' - [boak]

HerBeX · 07/03/2011 13:15

I'm actually beginning to find it quite funny that you lot need to insult me personally because you don't like my views.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/03/2011 13:17

What's a 'frape'? I've never heard of that before. I saw it and thought 'frappe', a coffee drink but this is obviously different. Blush

VinegarTits · 07/03/2011 13:17

well most of us have dads and we were all 13 once, its reminds me of something my dad would have done as a joke and it is perfectly normal

funny how you and yourself rhinstone are the only ones who think it is creepy

Bringonthegoat · 07/03/2011 13:22

Facebook rape = frape

Abhorrent term if you ask me, but that was another thread Smile

I don't find it creepy but not behaviour of an adult!

HerBeX · 07/03/2011 13:22

I don't think it's creepy. Please don't attribute to me, things I haven't said.

I think it's stupid, crass and insensitive.

My primary interest is that most people think stupid, crass and insensitive is perfectly normal.

I guess it is.

VinegarTits · 07/03/2011 13:24

oh ok but you said it when you namechanged to rhinestone

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/03/2011 13:24

Bringonthegoat... Oh, thanks. I've never heard that before. Sounds peculiar.

VinegarTits · 07/03/2011 13:26

and what you might describe as stupid, crass and insensitive, is just funny to people with out a pole up their arse a sense of humor

withagoat · 07/03/2011 13:26

you need to STOPusing facebook you weirdy

TheMightyToosh · 07/03/2011 13:26

SPeaking as someone who was constantly embarrassed and let down by my dad, I think it was a stupid and unkind and unnecessary thing for her dad to do. Most 13 yr old girls would be quite mortified by something like that I think.

It's not creepy, or inappropriate in the way that some people are suggesting, but it is insensitive and thoughtless of a father to risk embarrassing a girl at such a sensitive age for his own amusement.

My DD is only 4, and her dad is very playful and plays a lot of silly jokes with her which she thoroughly enjoys for the most part, but every so often he pushes it too far and winds her up to the point where she gets upset or embarrassed, and I always tell him to stop and give him a pep talk about the fragility of self-esteem and the important role that fathers have in building - not knocking down - their little girls' confidence.

OP - give him a copy of Raising Confident Girls to read.

And before anyone says it, I know you might think this is an over-reaction, but I think the OP knows her DD and if she thinks it was OTT or embarrassing, that's probably because she can see it affecting her DD.