To send my 13 yr old to bed for 9:00pm?

[MittzyBittzyTeenyWeeny]

To settle a debate between 'but Muuuuuuuuuuuum, no one else goes to be at that time' and me being a good mummy with loving concern for his health and wellbeing

YANBU, DS goes up at 9.30 but he's up with the larks.

Well, if in 3 yrs time he has moved out then getting him up in the morning won't be something I have to worry about on a daily basis.. I don't see it though

It is him that worries about his friends and I am trying to be realistic but fair.

I might see if Amazon have that book Candleshoe... sleep has always been an issue with him so all round sorting it will be in his favour.

Think it is awaiting a reprint at the moment - try a library or charity/secondhand shop.

Thanks Candle

This thread has inspired me to give 11 year old DD a new bedtime. I've told her it's bed by 9 and she can read until 9.30 when it's lights out.

She has said no but I'm sticking with it!

Re. weekends, if I let DD sleep late then she wants to go to bed later so it's a vicious circle of staying up late and sleeping late, especially in holidays when I think she could turn nocturnal if I leave her

Do people really have 13 year olds out until 10 on a school night? DS1 is Y8, 12.5, and he goes up to his room between 9 and 9.30 (depending on when he finished homework/what he's watching on TV) and then reads for a bit, lights out by 10 (though often 10.15). He's frequently still awake at 11, but I would rather he was reading or in a quiet room trying to sleep than up and bouncing around.

He's up at 6.45/7 in the morning and out by 7.30.

At 13 i would have been in bed 8.30 / 9pm

would normally have gone straight to sleep or just a little reading

But then my school bus left at 7am, so i needed to be up around 6.15

I was about 16 before I was physically capable of staying awake past 9pm on a schoolnight. I remember trying to stay up to watch ER which was on at 10pm a couple of times but I'd always fall asleep before it started.

In your case I'd judge by what he's like at getting up in the mornings. 9pm will be too early for some teens but fine for others.

DS1 is 13 and goes up at 9.15 during the week. Usually gets up 7-7.15 but sometimes needs waking. At weekends he goes later - 10-10.30. And that's straight to bed as he shares a room with DS2 (10), who goes up at 8.30. DD is 9 and goes at 8-8.15 unless we are running late.

I send them up at the time I went at their age. Seems reasonable to me!

So am I one of the few with teenagers with social lives? I have 3 teenagers. The school bus gets them back home by 4.30 but if they stay on for a school extra GCSE courseork class they catch the bus that gets them home at 6.30. Between the 3 of them weekly activities include driving lessons, cycling, table tennis, scouts, explorers, local youth council, debating society, funding youth committee, youth mentoring scheme, rugby (local and county level training and matches), Duke of Edinburgh, gym sessions, music practice, the odd bit of babysitting, a cinema trip, choir, maybe group meet up in Pizza Hut....... We also go to London midweek from time to time to see the odd play that crops up as a set work.

These are the things that make my kids interesting (that and the fact they have all travelled independently / stayed home through choice while the rest of the family travel). They are also activities that will help my kids get into university. How on earth can they do all these things, have some sanity/chill time as well as achieve top grades at school and still go to bed at 9? I'd love to know, if anyone's worked it out. Seriously.

Bit of an aside - do others of you let tour 13yo dcs travel into London with friends, for eg to go to Camden? We're 60 or so miles outside.

I've realised that when I was 13, I didn't have a bedtime. I just went to bed when I felt like it. Often it would be about 9, and I'd watch TV till whenever I fell asleep. My parents are not free spirited types either, so now it seems quite odd, as apparently it is normal for a 13 year old to have a bedtime!

Magic I agree - whatever time my dcs go to bed, I'll still have to drag them out of bed in the morning. We're not morning people here at all. If I go to bed early I'm awake from 4ish but still rubbish first thing.

10pm here for my 13 yr old.

Magic, I know what you are saying it just feels 'wrong' to be in bed when he is still awake and if I don't settle him he is likely to stay up, eat me out of house and home and play on his game system until midnight.

It's not so much that I mind him wanting to stay in bed, it is when he is nasty tempered about getting up that I don't like.

MaryZ. I have done that. And also bribed him with fried egg sandwiches!! That boy will do almost anything for a fried egg sandwich.. I will be telling any long term girlfriends of this fact!

Goingmad, I think I would if he was with a bunch of friends, DS is going to our nearest city next weekend (Derby, so hardly a metropolis). For things like this I am glad of mobile phones.

YANBU. Apparently we're all getting less sleep on average than we used to.

He is free to stay up as late as he likes (within reason) at weekends so i suppose I don't feel so bad then about him being up and me asleep. I just feel 'responsible' during the week because he doesn't self monitor at all very well.

I seemed to remember your DD went up quite early Shiney...

My dd13 goes at 915, and reads as long as she wants- around 10 in practice. My dh and I are often in bed by ten-does that count for adult time? I have never woken up my kids or dragged them out of bed. And have just sworn I never will. Surely part of growing up is that you develop self discipline? Our kids do not wake us up either, I can't think of a worse way to start the day. If they have had enough sleep they will wake up naturally, just like any other species of animal. My mum never woke me up, either or any of my siblings. We just knew that being late for school was not worth the lie in.