To send my 13 yr old to bed for 9:00pm?

[MittzyBittzyTeenyWeeny]

To settle a debate between 'but Muuuuuuuuuuuum, no one else goes to be at that time' and me being a good mummy with loving concern for his health and wellbeing

So few of you have the wit

No way will I give this up.

DH and I are laughing our heads off at all these feeble adolescents who sleep like toddlers and lose the plot if Mommy doesn't "structure" every minute of their day.

I have worked with REALLY independent kids .... homeless ones! Trust me, with their backgrounds they'd all have loved someone to give a sh.. about when they went to bed, or where, or with whom, or if they went to bed at all.

Better for parents to care too much and control too much!

I was never made to go to bed once I was a teen.

If my mum had tried to force me into bed at 8pm I would have pissed myself laughing at her. As it was I usually went out with them a couple of nights a week as they held dance classes, or I stayed in on my own watching tv till they got home. Or I was out with my friends till about 10pm.

I got up and went to school without any problems.

A 13yr old should not need ten hours sleep a night.

That's pretty insulting, spidoodly (I am taking umbrage anyway )

I've had a new one ripped on here more than once for allowing my dd to go into town on the train with a friend or boyfriend after dark , and she walked to school alone from age 8. She studies hard, has travelled to Australia twice now unaccompanied, does her own laundry and ironing, and cooks for us too from time to time. I think she is actually a remarkably mature and responsible 14 year old, and that is partly because of how I've raised her.

If she thinks she is going to stay up till eleven every night and force me to watch tripe like Glee though, she can fuck right off.

BitOfFun your daughter sounds awesome :) She might even be a credit to you :o

"You seem to just like the sound of your own voice."

:o

I do recite everything I type here, it's true.

I'm with spidookly on this one. It is very precious and not appropriate to still be controlling bed time.

candleshoe, I think you have missed spidookly's point if you are drawing similarities between homeless, neglected teenagers and teenagers whose parents equip their child with the ability to think for themselves. Both of my parents very much gave a shit but it was paramount to them that I developed the ability to think for myself and would've seen it as a form of neglect not to have facilitated this is in their parenting style.

But it's the only time of the day when I do have total control of my teenager!!

Anyway, like I said, some days ago (has it really been that long, since poor old Mittzy asked a simple question and got an answer within about 5 posts??) it's horses for courses. It works for me, it might not work for you.

How you chose to bring up your children is of no concern of anyones but yours. Personally, I favour the rod of iron approach!

Anyway, must check that DD is asleep and hasn't lost her dummy or teddy!

Nah - I didn't miss her point at all - I was just bored with the whole thing and with S in particular ... arguing about bedtimes is really sweating the small stuff!

If my mum had tried to force me into bed at 8pm I would have pissed myself laughing at her

If this had actually happened what would your mums reaction been.

I hope my son would never ''piss himself laughing'' if I ever told him to do something.

Shows lack of respect.

Exactly, bedtimes are the small stuff. So that's where you start with giving some independence.

The only people who are arguing about them are the ones who are imposing them.

I haven't read the resulting arguments back much.

I don't think I have imposed a bedtime on dd since she was about 11. But then she'd very often be found snoring by about 8pm and was never late getting up for school even on the rare occasions that she managed to stay up until about 10ish.

She's 16 now and probably doesn't get enough sleep as she tends to go to bed at the same time as me. But it is up to her. She knows she can cope on 6 hours sleep but is better when she has more.

There is a big difference between "in bed at 9" and "in bed room at 9".

I agree with whoever said that most teenagers want time to themselves. You'd have been hard-pressed to keep me downstairs after 9 when I was 13, and I didn't have a DVD player or laptop with iplayer or any of that in my room, I just wanted some time alone.

If this had actually happened what would your mums reaction been.

I hope my son would never ''piss himself laughing'' if I ever told him to do something.

Shows lack of respect

Oh I agree it shows a lack of respect.. but I dont know what else you would expect if you tried to put a teenager to bed at 8pm. If you can see a child is tired, its fine to say "dont you think you should have an early night", but if a teenager is wide awake, and quite happily doing something or just watching tv, then why on earth send them to bed just because YOU think they should be in bed.

My 5 year old granddaughter doesnt go to bed till 7.30 and she gets herself up at 6am every day.

As a teen I was often a nightmare to get out of bed for school. It had nothing to do with lack of sleep.. I just loved being cosy in my bed and didnt want to get up. As is the same for most teens. If there is something worth getting up for, believe me, they can manage it.