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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to consider calling the police?

110 replies

lucasnorth · 28/02/2011 16:42

Came back home from nursery pick up to find a note tucked under the lid of the wheelie bin.
Saying how stunning I look and am I single and will I call him. And don't worry he's not a stalker, I just totally blew him away.

Now I am NOT stunning. I have been pushing a double buggy every time I've been out today, I have no make up on, my jeans are covered in mushed up food and I've been wearing my practical yet ever so unflattering rain hat. So weirdo-alarm has been triggered.

We live on a very quiet street, I hardly ever pass anyone on the pavement. But this person must either have been hanging around or followed me home, as they clearly know where I live. The only person I have passed on the street today was an old-ish (50s?) guy, this morning, and all I did was give him a nod good-day. He was already past our house so if it was him then he turned back and followed me. The only other alternatives are someone from the (very small) offices opposite (but then they would surely be aware of DH?) or one of the bin men (bin day, hence the bins were out on the pavement).

Anyway, for any of these people to leave me a note saying I blew them away is deeply odd, makes me feel uncomfortable coming and going from my own house (I'm certainly not going out to take the bins round the back now) and I'm worried. Particularly by the 'I'm not a stalker' comment because actually, yes, that's how it feels.

But the little voice of reason in my head says that the police (quite rightly) will laugh at me if I take my worries to them. So what do I do? My instinctive reaction having picked the note up was to throw it straight in the wheelie bin, but now I wonder if I shouldn't take it out just in case the weirdo does come back...

Oh, and DH is away on a business trip all week, so this is particularly crap timing.

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 28/02/2011 21:51

I agree with Snacktime too and glad you're going ask the police to note it for you.

If he's not a weirdo, then no harm done.

If he is, the police will be there from the beginning, which will hopefully mean less stress for you worrying about what point you should bring them in.

Good luck tomorrow

vmcd28 · 28/02/2011 22:18

zipzap · 28/02/2011 22:56

privategodfrey it is different though isn't it.

if you are bumping into somebody that you know because you happen to be at the same places for the same sorts of reasons and you already know them (you don't actively say that you do but that's the impression your post gives) then you are making a light hearted comment. (I'm also assuming that you are not running around and deliberately ending up in the same place as these people )

however the OP got an unsolicited note from a complete stranger who hasn't made (him)self known to the OP other than through this note and one of the first things that he tells her in this contact is that he isn't a stalker. Which (pops psychology degree head back on) is a great indicator that he has at least been thinking about it - whether or not he is genuinely thinking that he isn't stalking her or because he has previously been accused of stalking somebody and doesn't want to be accused again and so on - all sorts of reasons beyond these.

But to mention it all should raise warning flags - if they don't come to anything then that's great but if it does then forewarned is forearmed in this case I think.

and there are other warning flags being thrown off by the note too - being left in a bin rather than posted through the door for a start!

Trinaluce · 28/02/2011 23:07

Just out of interest - how do you know he's a he...?

getoffme · 01/03/2011 15:20

it doesn't matter if the nutter is a he or a she,... still a nutter.
let us know what the police said?

privategodfrey · 01/03/2011 16:36

I'm also assuming that you are not running around and deliberately ending up in the same place as these people )

depends on whether it's a fit bloke or not ...

Seriously though, if I was inspired to leave a note for someone I fancied I'd probably have put the same comment. Not because I'd actually considered stalking them but specifically because I wouldn't want them to think I'd be that creepy.

It was IMO a bit of a throwaway "don't worry" comment, but then I don't have a psychology degree. I shall ask the Psychs at our office tomorrow what they would have concluded from it.

Original poster

lucasnorth · 01/03/2011 18:43

Well I went into the police station and there were two people waiting in front of me to speak to the officer at the front desk, the first of whom had been there for over an hour already! And the person actually at the front desk was showing no signs of being near finishing. So I called the Met call centre and reported it there.

They were very understanding, didn't treat me like a time-waster at all. They asked if I just wanted it logged or if I wanted them to contact him and warn him to leave me alone. Unfortunately they said they couldn't advise me on which was a better idea, it was up to me. So being a wuss, and not wanting to piss off a stranger who knows where I live, I just got it logged. But it's good to know that it's on a system somewhere, just in case it goes any further. In the light of day this morning, and with my Dad here all day, it all seemed less scary than last night!

Thanks again to all for their input yesterday

[Trinaluce - note is signed 'Dan x.' Asks if I have a husband or boyfriend (woman would surely have used 'partner'?)]

OP posts:

LibraPoppyGirl · 01/03/2011 19:37

Well done lucasnorth .

Let's hope this is the last you hear from this person and that you are left alone now.

3littlebadgers · 01/03/2011 19:47

Thank goodness Lucasnorth I was a wee bit worried for you. Hopefully that will be the last of it and you can laugh about it in years to come at dinner parties or down the pub.

SnackTime · 01/03/2011 20:12

Good for you for having it logged! And it's nice to know that you can have the police ring him up if there's any further contact. I'm really glad it's not worrying you so much today - that's fantastic.

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