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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to consider calling the police?

110 replies

lucasnorth · 28/02/2011 16:42

Came back home from nursery pick up to find a note tucked under the lid of the wheelie bin.
Saying how stunning I look and am I single and will I call him. And don't worry he's not a stalker, I just totally blew him away.

Now I am NOT stunning. I have been pushing a double buggy every time I've been out today, I have no make up on, my jeans are covered in mushed up food and I've been wearing my practical yet ever so unflattering rain hat. So weirdo-alarm has been triggered.

We live on a very quiet street, I hardly ever pass anyone on the pavement. But this person must either have been hanging around or followed me home, as they clearly know where I live. The only person I have passed on the street today was an old-ish (50s?) guy, this morning, and all I did was give him a nod good-day. He was already past our house so if it was him then he turned back and followed me. The only other alternatives are someone from the (very small) offices opposite (but then they would surely be aware of DH?) or one of the bin men (bin day, hence the bins were out on the pavement).

Anyway, for any of these people to leave me a note saying I blew them away is deeply odd, makes me feel uncomfortable coming and going from my own house (I'm certainly not going out to take the bins round the back now) and I'm worried. Particularly by the 'I'm not a stalker' comment because actually, yes, that's how it feels.

But the little voice of reason in my head says that the police (quite rightly) will laugh at me if I take my worries to them. So what do I do? My instinctive reaction having picked the note up was to throw it straight in the wheelie bin, but now I wonder if I shouldn't take it out just in case the weirdo does come back... Sad

Oh, and DH is away on a business trip all week, so this is particularly crap timing.

OP posts:
slipperandpjsmum · 28/02/2011 16:58

The police would not do anything. It could have been a joke from some unfunny prankster, or a mistake or you may be more attractive than you realise!!

Not nice if you are on your own but I would try and put it out of your mind and carry on.

BooyFuckingHoo · 28/02/2011 16:59

haha nailit

permission from one's DH is not required for every fart you know.

DrRichandNimble · 28/02/2011 16:59

Nailit - I work as a very harmonious partnership with my other half. I wouldn't feel the need to seek his permission to call the police about something that concerned me. And if i was so worried about soemthing i did ring them and he was somehow upset about that then quite frankly he could kiss my arse.

I would suggest you were in the minority of having to seek authorisation for your actions.

BooyFuckingHoo · 28/02/2011 17:01

yeah but the lady with teh brown hair may have been passing your house and chucked it in. lots of folk have brown hair.

Original poster
lucasnorth · 28/02/2011 17:03

DrRich - yes you're right name calling was uncalled for. But to send a note like that to someone living in a family-size house and pushing a buggy, it's got to be pretty obvious that it's more likely to freak them out that result in a date, surely? Note was tucked between lid and bin, so that it fell out when I lifted the lid. So he may have got the wrong address, but it wasn't chucked there by mistake.

Consensus seems fairly strong that I should keep the note so I will go out and get it back. And wait and see what happens next.

Sorry I can't keep up with all the replies, by the way. I think my connection must be slow (and my typing isn't helping either!)

OP posts:
notrightnow · 28/02/2011 17:03

Do you live en route to or from a secondary school? It sounds like the kind of thing kids do for a dare or a laugh.

TryingVeryHard · 28/02/2011 17:04

Could it be a joke?
I would call the police to ask for advice - don't see what harm it can do if you just told them what's happenend, say you're a little bit spooked, DH away what do they think you should do?

I think they should look up the phone number for you

SunshineisSorry · 28/02/2011 17:04

Did he leave a number? Would it be appropriate to text him and say, thanks but married, not interested now fuck off please don't contact me again. Or best not to engage?

I would be a bit unnerved but i have to say, secretly chuffed!

BluddyMoFo · 28/02/2011 17:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nailitorelse · 28/02/2011 17:06

OK. Understand independent women response. However, my point is the OP is asking us for our advice.
What is wrong with asking DH as well?!
Not suggesting seek "permission", just a discussion about the issue.

Can you imagine if DH (or DW for that matter if it was other way round) found out in an indirect way - you would think that they were trying to hide something from you, wouldn't you?!

Stop being so bloody feminist about it - its not a matter of woman asking man for permission - its a case of discussing with your partner the best course of action.

diddl · 28/02/2011 17:06

"it's more likely to freak them out"

Maybe someone´s idea of a "joke"?

Or wanting the husband to find it?

Pheebe · 28/02/2011 17:07

lucas do your local police have a help line? If so I would call them and ask them to log this. They may have had similar incidents. TBH sounds like a weirdo trying his luck...

penguin73 · 28/02/2011 17:07

You need to keep the note in case anything else happens and you do need to involve the Police, but for the moment I'd just try to laugh it off -certainly the Police will not do anything based on one note. If it is anything like the teenage boys I deal with I wouldn't put it past someone just messing about...

BooyFuckingHoo · 28/02/2011 17:08

if the number was in a different ink and writing style it sounds liek a teenage prank.

like a few boys write the note then one lad decides to put his mates number on it to get him in trouble. boys do silly things liek that. tehy dont think of who tehy are freaking out.

LessNarkyPuffin · 28/02/2011 17:08

Stick it in a paper bag in a drawer. Hopefully it's a random oddness and nothing will come of it. Let your family know. If anything else happens you can take it to show the police.

Birdsgottafly · 28/02/2011 17:08

Would your dad call the number for you? He only needs to say "Ive found this note under the lid of my bin, and thought i would give you a call..,oh! it was ment for my wife!". However sometimes the police will make a note of an address if a person feels vulnerable and put them on a shorter response time. Not to say anything else will happen! But keep the note just in case.

ShowOfHands · 28/02/2011 17:09

My BIL saw a woman get out of a car at a park once and thought she was absolutely stunning. He left a note on her windscreen as he was in a rush, just his number and give me a call. She did. They dated. Was v happy with her for a few months.

I thought it was romantic.

LessNarkyPuffin · 28/02/2011 17:09

I really wouldn't call any number.

BooyFuckingHoo · 28/02/2011 17:10

it was the way you worded it nailit. you said, whatever you do, avoid conflict with DH. as if that was teh most important aspect of this. aslong as she didn't upset her DH, never mind taht she may have a stalker and require police assistance, if DH said no then she should keep the peace. it all sounds so 1950's.

Original poster
lucasnorth · 28/02/2011 17:10

notrightnow - no, no secondary schools near here (which is a whole other thread).

Trying - could be a joke I suppose, but you'd have to be pretty weird to find it funny so that might be even more worrying!

Sunshine - then he would have my number. And I suspect any kind of contact would be seen as an encouragement.

OP posts:
DrRichandNimble · 28/02/2011 17:10

Nailit - i would imagine that the next phone call we had would go "oh you will never guess, I had to call the police earlier, someone left me a note sayingi was a hotty but it freaked me otu so i called them just to check" "oh did you? are you ok" "yeah fine, just wanted some advice" "ok so long as your all ok. work has been a bit crappy some guy next to me farted blah blah blah"

I cannot think why i or he would be upset that i had acted without seeking the others approval.

LessNarkyPuffin · 28/02/2011 17:11

Note on windcsreen rather different to note outside her house in her bin SOH.

GooseyLoosey · 28/02/2011 17:12

Maybe someone else just put a note they received in your wheelie bin as they walked past and it was not for you at all.

Presumably it has the guy's number on it? You could wait until dh got home and get dh to ring him and say he thinks this must have ended up in your bin by accident - just in case it was something important.

On balance though, I think I would leave it for now and do nothing - just assume it ended up there by accident.

TheProvincialLady · 28/02/2011 17:12

Shove it in the back of a drawer and forget about it until such time as you do have a stalker rather than a one-off note. I expect you will find that several of your neighbours have had the same note and it is some teenager's idea of a joke. Calling the police would be a total waste of their time and what would you expect them to do except laugh log the fact that you have received an unthreatening note. Write the date on the note yourself.

BooyFuckingHoo · 28/02/2011 17:13

agree DRrichardnimble.