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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU WWYD Proms and Limos

238 replies

mmsmum · 28/02/2011 10:39

Hi all,

I have got all wound up about this and would like to know if I'm BU and need to let it go or if I'm right to be annoyed and WWYD.

DD is in her last year of primary and has her leavers dance/prom to go to (we don't have a date yet but I'd assume around June). Given that this is February I haven't given this too much thought other than thinking she can wear a dress she wore to a wedding last year, that she'll want her hair done and to go in a limo with all her friends.

So last week she comes home from school to tell me that one of the girls has invited 'everyone' to go in limos. Except she hasn't invited everyone, she has left out my DD, her bf and a girl with SN (there may be another 2 left out but DD isn't sure).

AIBU in thinking how dare this woman take away my daughters chance of attending her prom in a limo with the rest of her friends? They will all be going together and talking about their experience while my DD has been left out. She is going to go with her bf but a limo for 2 is a bit ott! It's really not fair that this has been taken away from her is it? She can't even invite another group of friends as they are all going already.

I'm also annoyed that the mum who has arranged all this is head of the pta. Does this make a difference? I think it does, I think she should have invited everyone and not left anyone out. Why has she done this in February about 4 months before the event, and is she the only one who knows the date/venue etc?

I'm really upset for DD, she'll still go and arrive with her bf, but I don't think it will be the same. And in the run up she'll have to put up with everyone talking about it. I don't know what the atmosphere will be like at the prom with so many going together and a few on the sidelines.

There is some history between this girl and DD but we are going back a few years when this girl picked on mine, excuse was her parents were splitting up. Since then they have been to each others birthdays. The girl told my DD that she and her bf weren't invited because they are too hyper.

I am finding it hard to believe that anyone would exclude a few girls like this and wonder whether I should phone this woman and ask if she realises what she has done and did she mean to do it? But then am I going to look like an idiot and make it worse for DD? DD's esteem and confidence has taken quite a knock and she isn't looking forward to the prom as much now. She has been through a hard time and it would have been really nice if she had something to look forward to Sad

Sorry this is so long! AIBU and WWYD if you would do anything?

OP posts:
MissVerinder · 03/03/2011 10:11

A husky sled?
That princess carriage thing KP got married in?
A carnival float?
Hot air balloon Grin?
Fire Engine?
Horse and carriage (traditional style done up with flowers)?
Someone suggested vintage cars- that would be lovely.
Or you could take them yourself and 250 yards from the entrance get them escorted in by some circus performers, fire eaters and jugglers etc, someone on a unicycle?
I am being a little bit serious. Limos are well tacky and require no thought, only cash.
Other than that, you could perhaps just take them yourselves, but hold an "after party" at your house if you fancied it?
I know it's sooooo stateside and a little bit gross, but it is only one day, and they'll remember it for a long long time.

I heart my circus idea...

SeeJaneKick · 03/03/2011 10:19

Miss Verinder...do you know how much jugglers etc cost!? More than a limo!

MissVerinder · 03/03/2011 10:25

I have no idea how much jugglers cost at all! It would be ace though, wouldn't it?

SeeJaneKick · 03/03/2011 10:31

Yes...if you knew some people who could do it. once had to hire some jugglers and stilt walkers and I was Shock at the cost.

YourCallIsImportant · 03/03/2011 10:39

This whole limo thing is mental. I know kids will pester for things like this but it's ridiculous to indulge them at this age. My DD is P3 right now so I've got a while to make my argument before this all starts.

It's a great thread btw, and please, please name the school. I'm near Dumbarton and would love to know! (or PM me?)

Mammie81 · 03/03/2011 10:40

I'll walk on some effing stilts if will show this woman shes being a cow bag not to invite your DD and co!

I draw the line at juggling kittens or fire.

QuickLookBusy · 03/03/2011 10:49

Sorry haven't read the whole thread so sorry if repeating.

I would go and speak to the teacher. It's disgusting that the mum has left 3 girls out. I would tell the class teacher and hope she can come up with an idea of hpw to broach the whole subject. Its just not on to leave 3 girls out. It will be so obvious on the night and I would think an embarresment to the school as well as the cow of a mum.

MissVerinder · 03/03/2011 10:50

Ok Mammie, how about a bubble cannon? Confetti? Mime artists (that might be abit lame) Or.... Get some people in fancy dress to be "courtiers" like in the old days. Doves? a Magician, but David Blaine style, not Paul Daniels.

Mammie81 · 03/03/2011 10:52

I think Brian Blessed should announce their arrival.

MissVerinder · 03/03/2011 10:56

Oooooh, dressed up like in Flash Gordon!

Original poster
mmsmum · 03/03/2011 11:05

Well, I tried!

So, she text saying oh don't know why you want to speak to me, I've just arranged a limo for 4 or 5 girls. I say ok I'll call you later.

I called her later, said I thought it would be nice if the whole class went together etc I point out that it is a class night, not a birthday etc. She said this has been arranged since last month, then it was before Xmas, and oh it wasn't like we were leaving anyone out because this group of girls just wanted to go together. At one point she lets slipadmits its 8 girls. Then she tells me it wasn't down to her it was a group decision between all the Mums, I tell her it's really disappointing that with all those Mums together not one of them thought of the others in the class, then she tells me that she just made sure the other Mums were happy with it. I think she told me about 3 or 4 different versions of how this came about.

I asked her again, would she consider getting the whole class together? This is when it turned, not nasty, but I felt like I was talking to one of the school girls. She said no, it's all booked and paid for, and she isn't forcing people who don't like each other to be in a limo together. Ah, I think, were getting nearer the truth now! She tells me her DD has issues (her word not mine) with pretty much half the class! She doesn't like these other girls and she doesn't get on with the other girls. I can't remember what I said but then she says how she isn't getting into playground politics which was a bit irrelevant but since she brought it up.. I tell her if it wasn't meant to exclude others and if it isn't her DD's limo but a group one then why is her DD telling the other girls exactly why she didn't invite them? I also told her that she has upset other children, that I was disappointed and think it's a shame all the girls can't be together.

So, I don't know if I'm right here and might be BU, but, it would seem that her DD is a little madam and doesn't get on with most of the class. I wonder who she gets that from?! Her Mum really isn't someone you could describe as nice. But at least she knows what others think of her. She clearly knows she does wrong otherwise why try to tell me it was only 4 or 5 girls, she must have known I knew it was 8, I'm sure she did let slip and accidently said 8 on the phone. She really couldn't give two hoots about the other 5 and didn't even try to pretend to.

I have spoken to DD bf's Mum and she has 4 out of the 5 girls on board for something else and we are trying to find out what the boys have planned, if anything.

To conclude lol The woman is a bit of a witch, she knew what she was doing and it was done on purpose and didn't care about anyone else. What I can't believe though is how many times she tried to change her story and blatantly lie about it, surely if she thought what she was doing was right she would have been proud to 'come clean'?

I'm going into the school later with forgotten lunch money so I'll them know that I was right because they couldn't believe someone would invite 8 leaving 5 out. Hopefully, in future years the school will be pro-active with it so this doesn't happen again.

OP posts:
Original poster
mmsmum · 03/03/2011 11:06

WOW! That was long!

If you don't want to read it the summary is this, the woman is a fruit cake and a witch!

OP posts:
Mammie81 · 03/03/2011 11:08

Yes. Brian Blessed. Its the only way OP.

Original poster
mmsmum · 03/03/2011 11:10

lol at Brian Blessed and the circus Grin

OP posts:
Maryz · 03/03/2011 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissVerinder · 03/03/2011 13:18

What a bitch! Feel sorry for her DD TBH. mmsmum, you must go for the circus and Brian Blessed. Or a baby tiger on a lead.

Original poster
mmsmum · 03/03/2011 14:34

Mary I think you've hit the nail on the head. I'm really lucky that my DD gets on with everyone, that's not to say she doesn't have her fair share of falling outs but she forgets it by the next day. Heard from another Mum that the girls invited aren't this girls 'regular' friends, maybe she's gone for what she thinks are the cool ones.

I don't know if the other Mums knew at the time, but they know now. There will be some who didn't care so long as their DD was involved but I can't believe everyone would be like that.

I feel sorry for the woman's DD too, she isn't doing her DD any favours. I don't think the woman is even worth pitying. ooo that's harsh isn't it?

OP posts:
diddl · 03/03/2011 14:52

But just because they are arriving seperately doesn´t mean that they can´t mix at the prom, does it?

FluffyMuff · 03/03/2011 15:40

I think that you've done all you can.

I no longer feel sorry for your DD because you have fought her corner, so she's got somebody on her side! It is very apparent that this woman isn't very nice and her DD seems to be following suit - which is a shame for them.

Now, if I were you I'd concentrate on putting your effort into making your DD enjoy the prom and see it as a positive thing. Organise transport for the remaining pupils and then suggest to school that steps are taken to try and prevent this situation in future (not sure how they could do this, but there may be something they can suggest).

I think you've done really well to confront her, she's shown herself for what she is.

Original poster
mmsmum · 03/03/2011 18:28

I hope not Diddly, I hope they start to mingle and mix once there.

DD came home from school and told me that the girl had had a go at her because I had phoned her Mum. Lord only knows what this woman told her daughter last night but looks like I've got their backs up! Not to worry, DD thought she was funny shouting and bawling and DD had other girls with her who were on her side.

I wish I was a fly on the wall in their house last night, I'd really like to know what was said hee hee All I've been able to gather is that we are stuck up lol

I am so grateful for all the support I've had on this thread, you all had a real effect on me. I'm glad I phoned and made my point and stood up for DD. Thanks everyone Smile

Maybe I'll start a new thread, do I take DD to a hairdressers to do it myself? lol Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
mmsmum · 03/03/2011 18:28

Diddly! I'm so sorry I've come over all Ned Flanders! Diddl Grin

OP posts:
diddl · 03/03/2011 18:40

Diddly-lol-I´ve been called worseGrin

The mother sounds deranged now.

That poor girl-she´ll be asking to come with your daughter soon!

Wonder if she never even wanted a limo & it has all been fron the mother?

Are you also going for a limo for your daughter-or being stuck upGrin & going something else?

mrsgetonwithit · 03/03/2011 19:19

Motor bikes would be good.....try and find a local HARLEY DAVIDSON club.

Original poster
mmsmum · 03/03/2011 19:22

As one who is stuck up one must think of class, limo's are for the likes of katie price and kerry katona, DD will have a something beautiful

Unless the majority want a limo lol Not everyone can be as stuck up as me Grin

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 03/03/2011 19:25

www.bbc.co.uk/news/10329253 council reject request for helicopter landing at prom.some folks are just pushy show offs