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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think SHE should pay for smashing up MY car

407 replies

thequeensspeech · 25/02/2011 10:46

Mother in law is staying with us for 2 weeks, normally lives in Spain. Yesterday she asked if she could borrow mine and DH's car. She only has third party insurance. Was not happy about her driving the car. She reassured me that she has 40 years driving experience, no accidents ever, was only going to nip to the shops. Reluctantly I handed over the keys. Of course, sods law she has a crash. Garage now estimating £2000 to repair.

She has checked with her insurance company and obviously they are not going to pay out. She has made it quite clear that she will not be paying for my car to be fixed and ultimately DH and I have to somehow, scrape the money together. Not great when I'm being made redundant in June.

Yes I know it was my fault for giving her the keys to the car but surely to god she should at least volunteer to pay half the costs.

Disclaimer: she and her DH are well off, have house in Spain and 3 houses in the UK 2 of which they rent out and the other they live in for 3 months of the year.

OP posts:
Georgimama · 28/02/2011 20:23

I can second that it is possible; a woman once ran up the back of me in her brand new Golf. I was in a Disco. The tow bar of my car had a minute scratch - Hers was written off.

emmyloopsyloo · 28/02/2011 20:40

It's less likely to happen with modern cars though as they are designed to "crumple" save the person not the car.

The thing is it "could" come back to haunt you if the driver gets his car checked out later on and finds there is damage underneath, he can come to you to claim.

If you tell your insurance they'll leave an open potential claim on your file for a year.

Tricky situation tbh, as it's so easy to damage the underneath of modern cars now, the slightest bump can cause £1000's of unseen damage.

Also it's a legal requirement to exchange full details including insurance at the scene for reasons such as the above, if for any reason you don't or can't it needs to be reported to the police within 24 hours. Not doing so is a criminal offence.

If he finds damage later on, you could face some tricky questions from the police op, sorry to burst your bubble and that.

AvengingGerbil · 28/02/2011 20:41

I had a Renault Megane written off completely by a Mini Cooper running into the back of it. My car was crushed. The Mini had a slight dent on its bumper.

HaveToWearHeels · 28/02/2011 21:00

Also it's a legal requirement to exchange full details including insurance at the scene for reasons such as the above, if for any reason you don't or can't it needs to be reported to the police within 24 hours. Not doing so is a criminal offence

Not a criminal offence,as the OP has said the accident happened in a supermarket car park, this is classed as private property. I known because I was hit in a car park and the woman refused to give her details and just drove off, I went to the police with her reg number and they said there was nothing they could do as private property. I took her to court in the end and won so I had the last laugh, because she had to pay out of her own pocket because insurance refused to pay as she had not informed them.

DuelingFanjo · 28/02/2011 21:19

fair enough, perhaps it is possible. I have read about people contacting druvers weeks later RE whiplash though.

emmyloopsyloo · 28/02/2011 21:23

Well then your police force were lazy. It is a criminal offence. Heels.

Any accident where you cause injury, damage to someone elses property, or certain animals. Has to be reported if details are not exchanged. In an area the public has access to.

Some forces are lazy, some not, same with things like ID theft, burglary, it's all force dependant.
Paperwork!

It is a crime 100% I can tell you that. It's a place that the public had access, therefore not exchanging details or reporting it, is a crime.

Section 170 of the Road Traffic Act 1988 as amended by the Road Traffic Act 1991

DitaVonCheese · 28/02/2011 22:22

Actually, kind of related to what Dueling says, I was going to mention that if the other driver is fully comp then his insurance company might insist on him starting a claim against you/your MIL (not sure which - presumably the driver?) to keep their options open or something.

When I hit the Merc - which wasn't my fault Wink - the other driver and I actually hugged at the side of the road because she agreed it wasn't my fault. Then a few weeks later I got a letter from her insurance co saying she and her son were suffering whiplash and intended to sue. I panicked and got legal advice and he said that she had probably been pressured into it by her insurance co. Anyway, I supplied my insurance details and never heard from them again (about 5 years ago now).

Hulababy · 28/02/2011 22:32

Definitely plausible that you can cause a lot of damage to one car and none to another in a bump. Known this to happen on occasions in the past.

Think a supermarket carpark would be private property so probably exempt from having to report.

emmyloopsyloo · 28/02/2011 23:20

Its not exempt, Section 170 of the Road traffic act. I do wish people wouldn't speculate on what is illegal and what is not without knowing.

If you ever cause damage in a car park and don't exchange details, you must report, end of story or be comitting a crime.

It used to not be. It used to only apply to roads, and it wouldn't apply to say gated private car parks.

The RTA 170 now also not only refers to accidents on roads, it's a road or other public place.

A supermarket, car park, multi story, is a public place. Anywhere the general public have access, private property or not is covered under the RTA.

FACT. For the third time.

nannyl · 01/03/2011 10:58

so pleased to hear its sorted... as in you hav a cheque and can put it behind you...

also believe its quite posssible to damage your car badly and not the car behind... an old landrover defender or something like that, probably wouldnt damage much if reversed into!

vis · 02/03/2011 19:30

ok so i am a little cynical.....any further updates??

cumfy · 03/03/2011 11:33

ditto!

PURPLESWAN · 03/03/2011 11:43

Well im not wealthy but there is no way my conscience would allow me to expect you to pay for damage I did to your car.

She effectively bullied you into lending your car despite the fact that you made it clear you didnt want her to.

She then had an accident and expect you to commit fraud on her behalf.

She will not take responsibility for what she has done.

She sounds horrible!

In my experience (ongoing!) its unlikely your husband will "man up" and deal with her (I hope I am wrong!)

I would make it clear (pleasantly) that SHE needs to arrange repair of the car - if not you will be pursuing her insurance company via yours.

PURPLESWAN · 03/03/2011 11:51

Didnt realise there were so many pages to this - glad you got your cheque!

NotActuallyAMum · 03/03/2011 11:58

OP can I borrow your car Grin

Sorry, couldn't resist Blush

cumfy · 04/03/2011 22:12

bump

LittleMissHissyFit · 04/03/2011 22:16

hope you're insured cumfy

LionRock · 04/03/2011 23:10

Of course she should pay the full repair costs.

How much longer is she supposed to be staying with you, i.e. has she just arrived or is the trip almost over? I expect the atmosphere will be awkward either way, so you and your husband may benefit from trying to get this sorted while she's still with you. I imagine that once she leaves it'll be harder to discuss the subject with her. Alternatively, can your husband speak to his dad directly about this? She may have fibbed slightly about the circumstances...

If both PIL firmly state that they are not paying and that you should risk a criminal conviction, you're likely better off without them. An expensive lesson unfortunately.

I hope yu get it sorted. Such a shame for a family split to occur in this way.

LionRock · 04/03/2011 23:11

Oops I didn't realise there were so many pages to this! I'd only seen the firstone, ignore my last post

Bogeyface · 04/03/2011 23:12

Has the cheque bounced yet?

cumfy · 05/03/2011 19:08

Perhaps you meant Has the cheque cleared yet?, Bogeyface

Bogeyface · 05/03/2011 19:12

Nope, I meant what I said.

warthog · 05/03/2011 19:21

i HATE it when we don't get updates.

Bogeyface · 05/03/2011 19:25

Thats why I asked if it has bounced because I cant help thinking that there hasnt been an update because things havent ended that well for the OP :(

YellowDinosaur · 05/03/2011 19:42

But the OP probably hasn't been back because she DID update us and therefore hasn't felt the need to check the thread again!