As I spent most of my time here..I thought I'd use it to say goodbye

[ThePosieParker]

As starkly reminded by recent threads, MN is not the sort of place that I feel very safe, with or without anonymity. I don't expect to be missed, I have often been quite and outspoken bitch on here and haven't exactly made a lot of friends. I am delighted to have met some of the feminists, and will hopefully see them again. But twice in two weeks I've had PMs reminding me of things I've posted about my husband and I'm really upset about it. For me MN has been a quick knee jerk experience, one that captures my mood at any moment. So toodle pip.....about time I did more with the dcs anyway.

I am really aware that this is an attention seeking thread, but I just wanted MN to know that I won't be the only one leaving when apparent heartbreak (not mine) is fodder for someone's 'shit stirring Sunday'.....

[Opens "stairs in kitchen" box, inserts LeQueen, rubs hands together and looks around for next box-ee]

I appreciate this morning's elucidations - thanks, Fellatio & others. I may have disagreed with every word Alouiseg wrote, but didn't have her down as a weird stalkery nutcase. It fits together more now.

A heck of a lot of this is about cliquery, isn't it?
Feeling quite pleased I'm such a quiche tart on mumsnet

I agree, up to a point, rocketleaf, but do you think posters would be able to do that ("you've changed your tune") without a million other MNers leaping in, calling stalker, or digging to find out what was meant by "you've changed oyur tune"? (hesitate to say this, but for eg TDWP threads always go that way - now see how many times I get leapt on for that comment, so maybe I shoudl have said it in private?)

surely, sometimes, it is best to say that in private, to avoid a very public spat/outing/embarrassment?

of course, you can accept that people just change.

but a very public about turn (which is what is being hinted at here) - surely you would expect someone to comment on it? given the numbers of people reading?

and I am not sure whehter commenting publicly or privately is better (suppose it depends on what you are saying, and why you are saying it)

but certainly, this is not the first "I cannot believe what I have just been PM'd" thread. and all of them swear blind they will not divulge who the poster is, and it drip feeds thorugh the thread with characters being ripped apart on both sides.

I frequently muddle up posters in my head. For some reason I get Reality and BOF mixed up.

When I read about the "inconsistencies" of PP's posts, it took me ages to remember what it was that ALG was talking about. And even now, I only have a vague recollection.

Love Xenia's "Housewives and other kept women" statement, that made me laugh. I do agree that MN can be an eye-opener.

I always knew that some people have to live on a very low budget, for intance, but reading some of the "how can I feed the family until payday, I only have £32.50 left" threads shocked me.

Eh? what's wrong with strident?

[seizes MmeLindt and shoves into "lives in a small European country" box]

Mostly I've no idea what someone has posted elsewhere as I'm not auditioning for Mastermind on the basis of "Threads by Xenia on Mumsnet 2009 - 2011" or whatever. Sometimes I do remember if someone posts a lot (eg the lady in France.. cannot even remember the name now). I certainly would not object if someone said to me, if it were true, on XYZ thread you said porn was awful and now you support it because I could then say I changed my view or whatever but it must feel stalkerish if someone always just posts below you I suppose. I think it's a state of mind thing. I am sufficiently pleased with myself to think if someone were doing that it's because they like how I write and are in the Xenia fan club and that ability for self delusion on my part may be in part keeps me happy.

Also some people are more sensitive than others. The left can spout whatever rubbish they like and I just think - wow how silly, let's help them change their views to the right path. I'd never get up set by tit - same with housewife threads - I know working mothers are the best for children and the more I can convert to that cause the better for the good of all children and women. Other people need to develop a thicker skin and not let their feelings get hurt so much and if they do suffer a little perhaps we can pat ourselves on th eback and say 0 great 0 there's another pathetic thin skinned woman who has learnd to be tougher. We certainly need women in general to be tougher rather than weak and delicate flowers.

How can you muddle BitofFun with anyone else?
BoF = naughty pictures

Agree Mary.

There is a great saying in German that I use often, "Du hast Recht, und ich habe meine Ruhe", which translates to, "You are in the right, and I have peace".

Sometimes it is ok to step back from an argument, when it is clear that the other person is not going to change her mind.

Fellatio, I used to think strident meant strong & shouty, like stentorian. It doesn't, it means squeaky like a mouse!

ROFL at mastermind specialist subject being "threads by Xenia 2009 - 2011"

That did make me giggle, SGM.

Btw, I am glad that you have your old name back. Could never remember how to spell Rhade-whotsit

well, yes, I just googled it, thinking I had spelt it wrongly (of course I hadn't - perish the thought ) but as well as strong and shouty it also seems to mean squeaky like a garden gate!!!! Who knew?

Shall we all step away now? Only I really do need to go and blow-dry my hair before it dries all sticky-up in its towel turban.

Yep, all good points silverfrog. As soon as I posted that I realised I should have qualified it by saying I would be far more likely react with a shrug and an raised eyebrow and not mention anything. It's very unlikely I would actually 'call' anyone, partly due to lack of spreadsheet knowing what they had said previously and partly due to lack of caring if I did.

But then I agree with Maryz and I rarely post anything I wouldn't be happy to say to someones face. I am a terrible fence sitter when it comes to most things :o

Maryz - as I said earlier, it depends entirely on the situation.

there have been a few threads where info just really has to be corrected.

others, yes, it is just down to a difference of opinion/change of heart.

I guess it all depends on how much the thread/subject means to you.

i don't usually get involved at all, apart form on vax threads, or some SN subjects (and it is usually correcting SN misinformation where I will not let go - not to the extent of stalking or PMing, obviously )

hypothetically speaking, I could see a situation where, eg if a poster I had always been in agreement with (on a SN issue, say) suddenly started argumentatively (and erroneously imo) putting the opposite case, I might PM and say "is everythign ok, only oyu used ot think abc, not xyz". and as I said earlier, I would be expecting a "oh fuck off" reply, or a continuation of the discussion.

I don't see the point in always walking away (which is not ot say that I htink everyhting should be doggedly pursued to the last word, each and every time). surely we are all here for discussion/debate/friendly argument? not just to each babble away disjointedly, with no answers?

There's a Xenia fan club? I want to join!

Agree with Lenin, Hully and LeQ - why is it so utterly important to set someone straight? I've currently embroiled myself in a pointless to do about the history of English (natch) but will drop in soon as it actually doesn't matter if this poster continues to be wrongheaded about it. If it's medical/life threatening wrong information, etc, then yes, it's worth pursuing, but other than that there's a certain arrogance in feeling that you should give someone "a few home truths" - I'd be pissed off if an actual friend took me to task over something like that, never mind an internet sprite.

the whole <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/myl/llog/duty_calls.png&imgrefurl=itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/005424.html&usg=__dnj125aQZqYK_Pm7PSznGkcIY4g=&h=330&w=300&sz=14&hl=en&start=0&sig2=G5MU8d8hZXf7EOlL75g3vA&zoom=1&tbnid=guDUWeTuSdf6gM:&tbnh=161&tbnw=146&ei=zOlkTZHREYOxhQfmwZ22DA&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsomeone%2Bon%2Bthe%2Binternet%2Bis%2Bwrong%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-GB:official%26biw%3D1503%26bih%3D633%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=450&vpy=70&dur=14&hovh=235&hovw=214&tx=67&ty=170&oei=zOlkTZHREYOxhQfmwZ22DA&page=1&ndsp=23&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">someone is wrong on the internet schtick is just stupid.

Disclaimer: I don't think I know what schtick (or schtich?) means.

Thanks. When people stop responding ever to anything the web site dies.

I agree with the comment above about money issues too. It is terribly good for all of us to be reminded of how little money people have and on th eother side for the very poor to realise some female mumsnetters earn very very large sums and that all things are possible. It open eyes.The lack of that exposure is one of the reasons why some children in very poor areas aren't even aware of the possibilities and options that might be open to them. So web sites and the internet serve a very useful function.

But I must go. Trying to coordinate every child and me to be in the same London restaurant by lunch time.