As I spent most of my time here..I thought I'd use it to say goodbye

[ThePosieParker]

As starkly reminded by recent threads, MN is not the sort of place that I feel very safe, with or without anonymity. I don't expect to be missed, I have often been quite and outspoken bitch on here and haven't exactly made a lot of friends. I am delighted to have met some of the feminists, and will hopefully see them again. But twice in two weeks I've had PMs reminding me of things I've posted about my husband and I'm really upset about it. For me MN has been a quick knee jerk experience, one that captures my mood at any moment. So toodle pip.....about time I did more with the dcs anyway.

I am really aware that this is an attention seeking thread, but I just wanted MN to know that I won't be the only one leaving when apparent heartbreak (not mine) is fodder for someone's 'shit stirring Sunday'.....

that ALG felt that PP's new-found zeal for feminism was turning her into a slightly melodramatic hypocrite who needed to be reminded of a few home truths.

I don't care about either of them. But that is one weird idea.

Well I think so too, Hullygully, but then I have the greatest difficulty in remembering more than the very basic views of a handful of posters on a handful of issues.

There are very few people who I would notice if they underwent a major overhaul of their belief system.

I might notice of Valhalla suddenly announced that all dogs were the spawn of satan, or if Xenia decided that working was for mugs, but apart from that.....

I didn't participate in the original thread and neither do I do Twitter but when I read of PP's situation I spoke out earlier on this thread of the spiteful bitch, whoever she was, for sending unpleasant PM's.

However having read Fellatio's comments I've had time to think and feel that she has some very valid points, as does MmeLindt, who tells us that the PM's are not as bad as some of us might imagine. This appears almost to be a no-win situation.

I don't give a toss about people's political beliefs and find the "She's a Tory, what did you expect" mentality infantile. I'm also sceptical about the whole argument about that Twitter or FB shouldn't be used to discuss an issue originally raised on MN. There are FB and Twitter icons beside each MN post for goodness sake - we are aware before we post that there is every possibility that a thread will be discussed on one or both of these. I've done it myself - I've linked a thread to FB with accompanying personal remarks when someone has posted something exceptionally offensive/funny/stupid on MN. So shoot me.

I have no issue with either PosieParker or Alouiseg, both of whom have never been anything but polite towards me and I'm sorry for both of them in a situation which has clearly been allowed to get out of control. Perhaps in future, should any of us find ourselves in either lady's position, we should be transparent in our comments so as not to be accused of any improper behaviour and request that MNHQ delete and reprimand as they see fit if we have concerns about anythng that is said to us without carrying the argument on, either on Twitter or on here.

I agree with you KFP,i only remember that Pag lives in a beautiful house cos i like to look at her pics & Valhalla loves animals,i am sorry but i dont remember anything else about anyone else.

Thats what i like about this place you can be as anon as you want,so what if someone changes details about themselves in their posts,i thought that was one of the best ways of keeping yourself safe?

Yeah. Wow, weirder and weirder. How can any woman not be anti-porn, indeed how can any human who doesn't greatly care for pain, suffering and exploitation?

PS, all dogs are the spawn of satan, don'tcha know kungfupannda? :o

I heard that Valhalla kicked a puppy the other day...

< runs >

he he he he he

Yes Lenin, I suppose you are right, and to an extent Kungfu as well. The thing is, MN is different (wonderfully so) to most other forums in that we are trusted to self-regulate and we are not 'managed' like school children, and we don't have a long list of cast iron rules. The upside is that debate is fierce, honest, and intelligent. The downside is that lines get crossed, because there are so few boundaries in place. The freedom to speak uncensored coupled with the ability to communicate in a variety of ways now, makes us sloppy sometimes.

The mistake ALG made was in behaving like this is RL. If someone I knew constantly had a very strident POV, often quite assertively aimed at me, and I thought 'Blimey, that's a bit rich coming from you!!!' I'd be inclined to want to say it. But I might not want to say it publicly and cause a scene, I might prefer to say it quietly to intended recipient alone.

In retrospect I can see why this was a bad idea, but honestly I don't think ALG's motives were especially sinister. She may have wanted the last word, rightly or wrongly, but she didn't want to publicly humiliate Posie. If she's done what she did in an open post there would have been cries of 'foul play' and a deletion - nothing more.

We are either allowed to reference things that have gone on in the past, or we are not. Occasionally it might go tits up, but MN would be a poorer place for having too many restrictions in place.

I'm not sure I follow why people are so up in arms that ALG sent PP a PM (saying whatever it did, and there have been a few posters who have no cause to lie who say the PMs were not as bad as being made out)

all this "if you think it should be said, say it on the htread" stuff - have you not stopped ot think tht maybe, just maybe, ALG sent whaever she sent to PP by PM so that it wasn't put into the open? ie PP herself probably would not have wanted it in the open?

I really don't get why people are saying she should not have sent it.

and, fwiw, if I saw someone saying the opposite of what they had said earlier, and cared deeply about either the subject or the poster, then I might send a PM. I probably owuldn't, but I might. especially if I felt a poster was being hypocritical over somehting (NOT commenting on this specific situation, just in general)

I would also expect either a "fuck off, none of your business" or perhaps a continuation of the conversation.

as has already been said - one cannot wipe one's memory of previous "conversations", either in RL or on here.

I find it odd that poeple would think that no one remembers anythign of what has been said by anyone.

as Lougle said earlier, the SN board has been decimated recently by a similar situation. because one poster had the temerity to bring up somethign that had been said before.

don't we all "know" things about our frineds and acquaintances (RL and MN)? and would you all really just say "hmm, that's nice" and wander off if someone you know starts saying the opposite of what you would expect them to say? or would you engage on it? (in what way you engage, and what you might say about it depends entirely on the circumstances, obv).

most posters here want their back story known, to a degree, which is why the majority do not namechange regularly enough to "lose" their persona. so why would it then be odd when someone who has been talking to you for a number of years talk to you some more about somehting they think is not consistent with what/who they think you are?

Hg lots of women are pro porn and like it but that's nothing to do with the thread really. The more general opoint about the internet is you get to hear the views of people you might never often meet in real life like.. horror... a house wife or other kept woman or a woman from the lower (or upper) classes or even someone terribly left wing.

Too many people in real life are in a little clique or bubble which is just people on their council estate or their social group or their IQ level or their income or class or political kind and the internet allows us to realise there are people out there who are totally different from us - who might even be against porn (!) or not feminist or left wing or whatever. It's all good fun. Of course people can segregate themselves in life if they choose and many do to protect themselves from external influence.

it really is the politics/feminism-antifeminism that's the key here

the only people I really don't like on here are the tories, and they don't like me, either

now I avoid all such threads as I get so fuuurious

I find feelings run higher on those threads than anywhere else- it's visceral

...worse than the dog threads

"PS, all dogs are the spawn of satan, don'tcha know kungfupannda? "

I knew it! I KNEW IT!!

[runs off to tweet shock news about Valhalla.]
[remembers she doesn't know how twitter works]

:o

Funnily enough, wrt the two parties concerned, all I know of Alouiseg is the county she lives in and that she owns a Bulldog (well, I would, wouldn't I?), and all I know of PosieParker is that a few of her threads on race have led me to take a sharp intake of breath and others to take her to task on them. :)

Xenia - your post is fantastic in about 50 different ways.

I hardly know where to begin.

That's true SHJ - and it's easy to target ALG for a kicking because she is openly Tory and openly libertarian about porn. Some people would have just loved the opportunity to get the boot in via some 'legitimate' moral crusade that actually, they probably couldn't have given a stuff about if it hadn't been her that was in the firing line.

Please. Please please please can we differentiate between erotica and porn?

Surely people can't say porn is ok? Anyone that does has definitely not worked in the industry.

I occasionally have a vague feeling of surprise at the content of someone's post - a sort of, that's not what I would have expected from you feeling. But I generally can't recall exactly what they have said earlier that makes me think that.

I suppose, thinking about it, I probably do have a reasonable feel for what quite a few posters think about some things, although probably not a clear enough memory to challenge them on it. I probably also wouldn't recognise them out of context if you see what I mean. So there are a couple of posters with very, very strong views on BF/FF who I remember as soon as they post on that subject, but I wouldn't necessarily associate them with those views if they were posting on a thread about dogs.

For example, I have only fairly recently started remembering that Valhalla is vegan after it has come up a few times. Up till now valhalla = dog-lover.

Yes, I have little boxes to put people in

Yes Hully - only Xenia could come onto a thread like this and say 'it's all good fun!'

silverfrog, I think i would be more inclined to call bullshits on the thread in question. You don't need to go into personal details to do that, you can just say, "you've changed your tune, can you explain to me why you now think that way." Why the need to tell 'home truths' privately? Or just accept that people can change.

On the other hand, the more i read the more I am inclined to agree with Valhalla that it seems a bit tit for tat on both sides. It's a shame that people take this stuff to heart so much that they feel the need to make it personal. I don't know though, I cut my forum teeth on a music board, which was heavily male dominated, very misogynistic at times and calling someone a cunt was a regular occurrence so I have never really been that rattled by anything posted here. I also try and keep an open mind about most things and avoid getting too involved in contentious threads so perhaps that's also a contributing factor.

Or simply avoid/don't engage with the poster in question