to think your 5 year old shouldn't be able to upset you?

[novision]

My SIL told me last week that her 5 year old DD had made her cry she had been so nasty. She had got so upset that she couldn't take her to school and my MIL did it fir her.

Now my children have reduced me to tears out of sheer bloody frustration but it's never occurred to me to take it personally.

I would also never show them I was upset.

It's a genuine question. Is it better to show your children you're hurt or show no weakness?

I agree- if it's a one-off - it happens, I'd worry if this was happening more than very rarely (ie the SIL not being able to take the DC to school). I'd worry she was under a great deal of strain and not coping, for some reason.

Ah, but some people cry more easily than others.

I am weeping willow. I cry at the drop of a hat. If I am happy, if I am sad. When watching a sad film, or even an advert.

Hiding emotions from your children is not good. They should see that their behaviour affects their parents - be it getting angry and shouting at them, or crying or showing your disappointment.

Which is not to say that it should happen regularly. And it should not be used to emotionally blackmail the child, "Ohhh, mummy is sad, you have hurt mummy's feelings, mummy is reaaalllly sad.."

And being so upset that you cannot take your child to school is ridiculous. She needs to get a grip. What would she have done if MIL had not been there?

Yes, but LeQ recent events have taught us that you are nails

Woopy do Lequeen.

I said that once.I also said it after having twin boys, and when having 3 under 18 months-then dd hit 5!!!!!!!

I'll gladly lend her to you when she's on one and has been for days and I'm trying to juggle work,etc

Calm down ladies!

Mila - I do sympathise. I had a hard time when I had a toddler+ baby. Looking back (hindsight is wonderful) my crying - which felt justified at the time- didn't really help because to the older one it just felt like both of our emotions were out of control. It was a sign I needed help. So I'm not being judgy.

Great then you don't need to brag about how emotionally tough you are with your kids. We're all built differently with different kids.

I don't think anyone can say 'never'. I haven't cried in front of my children 'yet' but I remember a friend's very unpleasant little girl nearly managing it. I did get out of the room first but just about. I agree about the terrible 5s Mila (I think they pick it up at school .

That was towards Lequeen not Jamie.

People react in different ways - some people shout, some people cry, some people sulk, some people go very very quiet, some show no reaction at all, the list is long.

I don't think that any one response is "better" than any other response TBH.

Oh I wasn't bragging. Please read what I've written before you fire off something angry.

Must collect DCs from school

Namechange what the hell happens?????

OK Mila

Well said, Sardine.

Mila

I don't know. A sweet little girl and then...... Maybe they're just advanced and are being teenagers already .

Me too Jamie,now will I or won't I be collecting a thundercloud today???

my mum was v strong and so rarely cried, when she did ( for whatever reason) it made a MASSIVE impact. Me, blubbed at anything till had DD's. Now so unemotional (except when on own) that the merest sniff makes them realise crossed the line.