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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that being "un PC" is not the same as being a C*NT

282 replies

penelopestitsdropped · 07/02/2011 19:32

some of the opinions posted are hideously ignorant, largly offensive show the poster to be a cunt.

it has nothing to do with polictical correctness or netmums fluffyness.

it is all to do with the poster being a total and utter wanker

OP posts:
Original poster
penelopestitsdropped · 07/02/2011 22:38

indeed Tabulah.

I would just ask that for all of those who feel DLA is handed out with so little scrutiny, please take a look at teh form.

look at the finite detail they want to know about your child and their daily routine. Imagine how utterly soul destroying it is to pick apart just how reliant your child is upon you.

now imagine how it feels to get the rejection letter from DLA.
how it feels to repeat the process for the appeal.
How you have to give Dr's anems and addresses for them to contact to back up the fact that you haven't lied. (why anyone would lie about their child in that way astounds me)

Please, do not form such strong opinions on things you have absolutly no knowledge of. and reading an article in the Daily mail does not an education make

OP posts:
bupcakesandcunting · 07/02/2011 22:39

Well, for whatever reason, it pissed you off and I didn't want to do that :( I saw the two posts (the ADHD one and the mobility car one and thought WTF? but for the most part, the thread was funny and not nasty, in my opinion.) You were pissed off because a personal issue was dug at, I didn't know and thought you were just being sniffy about the quality of MNers these days, that's why I wheeled out Vic and Bob.

Am probably over-explaining myself a bit here but I don't want to be lumped in with the morons who think that SN/disability is a joke.

claig · 07/02/2011 22:40

Yes I think you are right. There is probably more to this than meets the eye. Here is a Liverpoolwired article that says similar stuff to the BBC article and stresses reform etc. There may be something in the timing.

www.liverpoolwired.co.uk/news.php/128370-Unscrupulous-parents-seek-ADHD-diagnosis-for-benefits

amarone · 07/02/2011 22:40

mumbar you should read the thread unless it has been pulled.

The title clearly stated that you should give your honest opinions about any matters, no matter how offensive they are.

If you are not up to reading it, don't.

Personally I was highly 'offended' by a lot of opinions, but I am not one to stick my head in the sand; I'd rather know what general opinion is so that I can possibly do something about it!

Original poster
penelopestitsdropped · 07/02/2011 22:43

It is ok Bupcakes i forgive you Grin

I will be honest i have deliberatly tried not to take note of anyones posting name on that thread.
It does not show them in a good light and I fear i would judge future posts by that thread, which would be wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
penelopestitsdropped · 07/02/2011 22:43

Oh yes the timing of those articles is far from coinicidental.

OP posts:
claig · 07/02/2011 22:46

I can't believe that many parents would want to get hold of these drugs if their children weren't suffering, because some of them can have all sorts of side effects.

bupcakesandcunting · 07/02/2011 22:48

Penelope, to be fair to most of us posting on that thread, it was all pretty pedestrian until the last few pages when it went a bit Germany c.1944.

I only tend to skim-read so I think I missed a lot of the offensive stuff (post from iPhone during daytime) Anyway, the second thread has got back onto an even keel, thankfully Grin

tabulahrasa · 07/02/2011 22:49

the DLA and over-medication are two very separate things as well...

My experience is that it is schools that push for medication, not parents - I've met parents who had teachers refuse to allow children on trips unless they were medicated, schools asking parents to request a higher dosage, phoning parents to check whether children have had their medication that day and telling parents that unless they started their child on medication they weren't willing to educate them...

claig · 07/02/2011 22:52

good point. I would expect most parents to be wary of the medicine, whereas the schools just follow "guidelines" and don't know as much about it as the parents.

This quote from the article seems very unlikely for parents who care about the well-being of their children much more than Susan does.

"Susan believes the parents had only one purpose in lying to the doctor.

"To get more medication. They wanted more medication, and so had exaggerated the child's behaviour - and the doctor fell for this hook, line and sinker."

Original poster
penelopestitsdropped · 07/02/2011 22:55

A parent of a child with "true" ADHD will be a walking oracle. they will have done the research, will have spoken to everyone, will have looked at all the options.

those who attempt to use it as an excuse for poor behaviour will often use the term "mild adhd" they will have heard of the word Ritalin and will be about as informed as a gnats backside.

And no one wants to medicate a child, those who have to often feel guilty for it and will resist for as long as possible.

Of course there are exceptions to every rule.

But this thread is not about ADHD or its deniers. Well, not just about that

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 07/02/2011 22:57

yep parents are usually very reluctant to try medication, they worry about side effects and how it'll affect the child - whether they'll be too medicated and it'll affect their personality

where schools on the whole seem to view it a bit like anti-biotics, it's a medical condition there's medicine, why would you not be using it?

claig · 07/02/2011 22:58

exactly, schools believe what they are told, parents research it carefully.

MrsCrafty · 08/02/2011 04:20

I am surprised that you are all still using the word 'Cunt'. I would have thought that some of you oldies would have grown up a bit by now and realised that it doesn't shock anymore, isn't appropriate and lets you down.

anonymosity · 08/02/2011 04:42

it does shock - its probably one of the few words to retain that kind of weight.

PlentyOfParsnips · 08/02/2011 06:15

You're not wrong, OP, there are some scary cunts here Shock. The worst of those posts would be deleted if posted in any other thread wouldn't they?

onceamai · 08/02/2011 06:48

I am none the wiser about your complaint having read the first two and the last page of this thread. The only thing I have seen that offends me is the OP's use of language. Unpleasant, inappropriate and not clever.

Lovecat · 08/02/2011 07:06

Oh ffs, I can't believe some people are getting po-faced about the language on here and not the bigotry and ill-informed prejudice displayed on te other 2 (2!!) threads.

The only useful purpose that thread serves is identifying the wankers who might otherwise have passed beneath the radar.

YANBU!

Blacksand · 08/02/2011 07:49

Which is more offensive?

"Oh. look at that Muslim on a motability scooter! Bet she's not even disabled she's just a fatty. And she shouldn't be wearing that headscarf. They all claim benefits you know"

or

"cunt
c u n t
C U N T
CUNT!!!!!!!
CUNT CUNTY CUNT CUNT"

Hmm?????

onceamai · 08/02/2011 08:19

What a shame there is a focus on foul language when after reading the first two pages of this thread and now the last I am still none the wiser about what the OP is complaining about. I hope that made you feel better Blacksand but it would have been far more constructive to have summarised the problem for me.

SoupDragon · 08/02/2011 08:26

here's a summary : a bunch of prejudiced posters took it upon themselves to post ignorant, nasty opinions on what was meant to be a lighthearted thread. Under any normal circumstances they would be called cunts and so they were... Here.

fedupofnamechanging · 08/02/2011 08:43

I have posted on the other thread (not in relation to the ADHD or disability comments) and my take on this is that people will have opinions that other people don't like. They may be ill informed, plain wrong or just different to what you believe. In a free and democratic society they are entitled to hold those opinions, just as others are entitled to vehemently disagree with them.

Reporting a thread and asking for things to be removed, doesn't make the opinion itself disappear and is therefore pointless. It just infringes on someone's right to a free voice. There is no requirement for that free voice to be nice or reasonable or educated/well informed or anything else. It still has a right to exist. It's horrible when something offends, but you just have to point out the flaws in their argument and move on.

EdgarAleNPie · 08/02/2011 09:13

being 'unpc' is indeed not the same as being a cunt.

i found it interesting that someone posted saying gay teenagers used the word 'gay' to mean 'inadequate' - i think that is just a theory of language thing, words alter in meaning. Personally i agree with that - whilst homophobia etc is reprehensible, merely using a word (without taking into account context and meaning) does not mean you hold a bigoted opinion.

you are free to disagree with me on that.

now pretty evidently i should go and read whatever happened on the rest of the thread after i went to bed.

EdgarAleNPie · 08/02/2011 09:32

actually, only one or two posters with really outre opinions.

this is the internet. people are going to disagree. but there was nothing ad hominem there (and in fact some posters on revealed things i always knew they thought anyway, knowing their posting history)

question is, do you have a right not to be offended?

i think not, becuse it never be known what will offend someone (and also, if you say pretty much anything on some of the issues mentioned, it's going to offend someone). On the other hand, I don't think posters should be abusive to each other ....

its a matter of judgement where expression of opinion ends and going out of your way to be offensive begins.

marmy55 · 08/02/2011 09:35

i had no idea gay was an offensive word to be avoided - not that its a word i would generally use anyway

sighs and wonders what other words i am using completely oblivious to them being "out of fashion" this week