Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that being "un PC" is not the same as being a C*NT

282 replies

penelopestitsdropped · 07/02/2011 19:32

some of the opinions posted are hideously ignorant, largly offensive show the poster to be a cunt.

it has nothing to do with polictical correctness or netmums fluffyness.

it is all to do with the poster being a total and utter wanker

OP posts:
MmeLindt · 08/02/2011 11:38

LyingWitch
I think that those posters who struggle every day with people's misconceptions about ADHD find it very difficult to use MN when they feel that they are having to defend themselves and their children here.

No doubt there are a few people who do excuse their childrens' behaviour with a self-diagnosed SN, but I cannot say that I have ever met one.

Most people I have met are devastated that their child has some kind of SN.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/02/2011 11:48

MmeLindt... I don't post on those threads anyway because other than uselessly offering sympathy, I can't contribute anything, but I do read them sometimes. I totally understand that any parent would be completely bereft were their child to have SN.

There are also rotten parents about, with perfectly healthy children who don't and won't behave. It costs those parents absolutely nothing to excuse their behaviour.

GORGEOUSX · 08/02/2011 11:52

Lyingwitch I understand perfectly well what you're saying - some people just can't let it go.

amberleaf · 08/02/2011 12:04

I only got to page 10 of that thread.

Some people are just cunts.

amberleaf · 08/02/2011 12:05

Sorry pg 18

FerociousBeast · 08/02/2011 12:09

Yes they are Cunts.

I am an old timer, new name. I would agree things have gone down hill on here. Not really sure why i come back these days.

mutznutz · 08/02/2011 12:28

Whilst there were some very extreme and quite shocking opinions posted...why would anyone want them removed?

Surely that's hiding in a bubble and refusing to at least aknowledge the fact people have extremely opposing views?

Censorship is a slippery slope imo. Let people post their opinions and then either disagree/agree/ignore...everyone has the right to an opinion, no matter how extreme it is.

marmy55 · 08/02/2011 12:37

of course they do.

i didnt like some of the opinions given, but would never say oi you cant say that

o

loftylorrie · 08/02/2011 13:05

As a frequent lurker who rarely posts, I feel a little ashamed that I posted on that thread - letting out a little bit of general grumpiness in the process - before I realised how much offensive stuff was being posted.

I feel very sorry for Peachy, and hope she's okay. Went back and read the last few pages, and was appalled at the treatment she got from a few posters who I'd previously thought were quite nice. And she didn't do anything wrong, unless you count "not having the same opinion as the poster in question" Sad

It would have worked if the opinions hadn't been so extreme that debate was next to impossible, I think. A case of neither side being able to see the other's point of view, iyswim.

BitOfFun · 08/02/2011 14:54

Lots of the stuff on those threads is not particularly controversial or unpopular anyway- it's mainly people having a bit of a rant in a fairly inoffensive way.

There is also, however, the odd nugget which is not an 'unpopular opinion' because it's clever, edgy or original, but because it reveals the poster to be boorish, bigoted and thoroughly unpleasant. The reason they seldom air those views is because most people wouldn't want to be friendly with them if they did. Quite what they had to gain by coming out of the closet, I don't understand: nobody has launched a career as a shock-jock from Mumsnet, as far as I know, and I'm pretty sure that Jeremy Clarkson has the BBC's Buffoon post adequately covered for the next few years.

NinkyNonker · 08/02/2011 15:35

Yanbu. Some opinions are hated and shouldn't be said aloud for a reason.

Glitterknickaz · 08/02/2011 15:38

I've not read the thread, and I'm debating with myself whether or not to.

I'd like to say though to those who believe the anti motability and ADHD comments should stand.... how would you like the following to be said about YOUR children?

  • they should have been terminated
  • they're proper little cash cows and that is the only reason you had them
  • they are a drain on society
  • it is your parenting to blame for any of their negative behaviour (when it clearly isn't)
  • they should be locked away, society shouldn't see them
  • you should be locked away/sterilised for breeding such freaks

I've had all the above and more thrown at me on internet forums. I'm also apparently a benefits scrounger as I can't work owing to having THREE children with additional needs comprising autistic spectrum disorders and joint problems compromising their mobility.

If someone said any of the above about your children would you want it to stand?

I love my children more than life itself, and yes MmeLindt I WAS devastated when they were diagnosed but as I can't live life being permanently devastated Wink I turned that devastation outwards and I FOUGHT. Everything in this life is a fight when you have children with additional needs, and it hurts like hell when ignorant and bigoted comments are posted about YOUR CHILDREN on an internet forum by people who do not know you and do not know anything about you.

I'd challenge any person alive to have a day with my children and then claim I got their diagnoses for money.

It's more than offensive, it's wounding and when you're fighting every day it becomes more and more unbearable.

And for those who would think "well don't read it then" why should I be excluded from a parenting forum by a bunch of small minded losers? After all I am a parent as much as any other on here.

MrsRichardHammond · 08/02/2011 15:42

Glitterknickaz - i am sorry to hear your children have additional/special needs and am also extremely sorry to hear how much abuse you have had directed at you as a result.

I have stated on this thread, and the other thread, why I hold the views I do regarding ADHD and the jist of these is that whilst I believe that ADHD does exist I do feel that people who just label their child to excuse their poor parenting don't do the condition any favours.

I cannot - nor indeed will - speak for others and their views/opinions nor will i even attempt to defend them. But I am sorry if my views have offended or upset anyone.

Glitterknickaz · 08/02/2011 15:49

I'm actually pretty angry with those who do describe their kids as a bit ADHD with no actual diagnosis or grounds for doing so. I do know some people who have done this, not to claim benefits but to excuse their behaviour. What this does is belittle those who genuinely do have to live with ADHD day in day out as we do, and it leads to the derision we see right here on MN regularly.
Actually I don't see ADHD as an excuse for DS2's behaviour, (and yes he has a proper diagnosis and meds as his behaviours could have killed him) but it is a reason, and a starting point to learn strategies to deal with his behaviours that wouldn't necessarily work if he did not have ADHD.

GORGEOUSX · 08/02/2011 16:11

I, too, know 2 people who say it about their DC - not diagnosed - they just say it, as others have said, to excuse bad behaviour - that's life unfortunately.

People say it when they shouldn't and people form opinions on that, but that's just the way of the world.

We all have different opinions based on our experiences in life and we're all entitled to our opinions.

Personally, I wouldn't be happy if someone was upset by my opinions, but I wouldn't change my mind on something just because people started having a go at me for having those opinions.

FWIW I posted on that threat about religion

  • I think it's all codswallop. If people are upset by that I can't change my beliefs based on that.
Original poster
penelopestitsdropped · 08/02/2011 20:46

can i point out that if you have a diagnosis of ADHD alone that in itself is highly unlikely to get you DLA. It certainly will not get you a motabillity vehicle.

ADHD is very different to bad behaviour. ADHD is not just extreme bad behaviour.

if someone is claiming that their naughty little boy has ADHD then fine. good for them. if it makes them feel better then the only person they are harming is themselves and their child.

it is not the deluded that harm those who genuinly have to deal with the fall out from all kinds of Sn. But those who ignorantly decide that they know better than decades of top medical researchers.

I have not once felt offended by the odd person who claims their child "has a touch of autism" or "mild ADHD"
I merely hope that they never do have to deal with it.

But for someone to tell me that my son's condition is a lie to cover my bad parenting, that i find offensive.

OP posts:
Ohjustshootmenow · 08/02/2011 20:52

No one said it's a lie though - or at least i most certainly did not and i will C&P my original post to show this.

Ohjustshootmenow · 08/02/2011 20:55

I am also of the opinion the majority of ADHD/ODD and the like is actually just bad parenting and people are too quick to seek other people to blame for their childs behaviour rather than accept they just have a difficult sod of a child.

My original post (which is on page one of the original thread)

I have never said ALL i have never said people lie about it to garner sympathy or obtain DLA. If others have said this then it is up to them to defend themselves.

lessnarkypuffin · 08/02/2011 21:04

That thread really highlights the fuckwits.

PaisleyLeaf · 08/02/2011 21:05

Regardless of how the child has got to the point where they are diagnosed with ADHD (deficient in attention from their parents? Too much junk food/sugar/frootshoots? Born with a problem in their brain?) I don't know.
But if that child needs help to access education/function on a day to day basis, they should get it.

What I'm saying is that even if (in some cases) it could have been prevented - the child should have help to overcome it.

lessnarkypuffin · 08/02/2011 21:05

This one too.

HingCogNeeto · 08/02/2011 21:06

okay, just to clarify, Ohjust

the majority of ADHD/ODD and the like is just bad parenting - do you mean that, I mean truly believe it?

Ohjustshootmenow · 08/02/2011 21:13

I believe it to some extent, yes, or I would not have posted it.

But i will add the caveat that, as i've stated several times over the two threads discussing those threads, I also believe that my opinion has been formed largely due to the parents who do the whole "my child has adhd therefore it absolves me of any parental responsibility whatsoever and i don't need to tell little johnny off" and do so WITHOUT any medical diagnosis or knowledge and spout ADHD/ODD as an excuse for their piss poor parenting. That is all.

It is NOT me stating that i believe ALL cases are false - i have NEVER held that view nor have i ever stated that view and i sincerely apologise if that is how i came accross and sincerely apologise for any offence i have caused.

GORGEOUSX · 08/02/2011 21:18

I wouldn't bother pleading your case to Hingcognito - she doesn't bother to take on other peoples' points of view 'cos she's too busy with her fingers in her ears singing la la la la Grin Wink

Ohjustshootmenow · 08/02/2011 21:19

I'm going to leave it now. I've apologised and stated my case so there we go.

I have enough stress to deal with lol