to think that being "un PC" is not the same as being a C*NT

[penelopestitsdropped]

some of the opinions posted are hideously ignorant, largly offensive show the poster to be a cunt.

it has nothing to do with polictical correctness or netmums fluffyness.

it is all to do with the poster being a total and utter wanker

i don't think that using the word "gay" to insult someone or something is "out of fashion" it is derogatory and has underlying homophobia written all over it.

marmy55 Ditto! (Is that word ok?)

Its not hard ;

My friend X is gay = fine.
Thats so fucking gay = not fine.

How can you not tell the difference?

I have only started reading MN in the last week or so but was horrified to see the comments on the other thread.

I have tried hard to come up with an alternative appropriate term for the bigoted, small minded, abusive, disgusting people with these opinions but actually have come to the conclusion thar only 'cunts' will do. So no OP, YANBU.

Agree, Buzz. As a description of someone's sexual orientation, it's fine. As a way of saying something is shit/inferior/pathetic, totally out of order.

Obviously!

I don't have much experience of ADHD but I would imagine that parents have to jump through a lot of hoops for a diagnosis of it. I know what the DLA forms are like (a nightmare), so I don't think getting help for a disability of any kind is easy.

Do you think though, that on an internet forum, anybody can say anything about getting a diagnosis, how easy it was, etc. - it might not be true and you can get many people saying the same thing. It diminishes the RL problems that people have in getting help for ADHD and other special needs.

I've read the other thread, laughed at most of the posts which I think are funny and just shrugged past the ones which aren't. The only custodians of this site that I know of are at MNHQ and they're the ones that have the right of censure as it's their site.

The thing is, people will hold those views whether they say it out loud or not. Probably best if they do say it out loud, as it gives people with real experience the right of reply and the chance to set the record straight.

what about the homosexual teenagers using the word. are they homophobes?

They are probably covering. Imagine you were a gay teenager and your peers used the word gay to indicate something disgusting or horrible. How would you feel? Hard enough being a gay teenager.

Using the word 'gay' in the context of something 'stupid' seems to be quite recent that teens use, ie. knocking over and breaking a lamp, "Oh, it's gay"... very strange terminology, said without thought or any emotion behind it.

I think comments like that should be corrected (and it was), but a reasonable person surely wouldn't take them to heart?

All I know is that my friends who happen to be gay find it very offfensive. That's a good enough reason AFAIC to not use it in a derogatory way. I prefer 'That's shit', myself.

anyone who uses the word gay as a pejorative is an utter moron.

I don't think anyone is denying ADHD exists out of hand. Just that a significant number of people have made it so that a large group of people now doubt its existence due to their "my child has mild adhd so it absolves me of any parenting duties" attitudes.

I do not doubt that parenting a child with genuine ADHD is difficult and an a position no parent would like to be in.

I wonder how parents of children with "ADHD" would cope if handed a child with the genuine condition.

As for the other opinions expressed on that thread, i tend to not pay any attention to bigots.

I have lurked but not posted on the threads in question. From the start, it was clear that they would turn nasty.

Perhaps it is wrong not to oppose this kind of bigotry - in fact, no. It is wrong.

To those who have been hurt and upset by those posters - believe me there are many more MNetters who are horrified and disgusted than have posted in your defense.

The BBC article was a joke. It should never have been published. It raised the issue that some (nameless) people pretend their DC have ADHD to access more benefits without revealing that they were very very unlikely to have succeeded.

Goblinchild Mon 07-Feb-11 21:37:43
There is a misunderstanding about the word diagnosis.

Sometimes it means something that has been arrived at through the judgements of several professionals in the field, backed with observations, tests and evidence. Parents use it as a key to unlock access to support.

Sometimes it's used by parents to explain their difficulties with their own children, and abdicate any sort of responsibility.

That's not a diagnosis, it's an opinion.
But in the eyes and ears of the terminally ignorant, they are one and the same.

MmeLindt... If a poster says that they have a 'medical diagnosis' though, how would anybody know different? That's the problem, there are bad parents as well as good ones and some bad parents would rather 'self diagnose' ADHD for their child's behaviour than actually tackle it for what it is, bad behaviour.

It does no favours to those parents who actually do have medically diagnosed children with ADHD or other SN.

It's not always to do with 'terminal ignorance' that I can see, just that we can't believe all that we read here or anywhere else. The media (Daily Wail in particular) is culpable in causing some of the problem.

Not quite sure that I understand your meaning, LyingWitch.

Those who lie about their child having ADHD, who "self-diagnose" are causing problems for those whose children have a medical diagnosis.

They are also causing problems for their children.

If someone posts on MN about their child who has ADHD I would always assume that their child has been given a dx. Just as I would if I met someone in RL.

My default is not to doubt a parent's statement.

And part of the outrage is that it is seen to be a way of getting DLA mobility payments or a car.

This is simply not true.

The application process is incredibly complicated and a child who is merely badly behaved will not pass it.

I read the first four or so posts before the warning bells started. Some people just don't get it.

I hated that thread.

I agree with Mme Lindt.

And as the parent of two children with diagnosed SN, personally I would prefer it if people would give others the benefit of the doubt even if they suspect self-diagnosis. I would much rather that the fraudsters were believed than have even one genuine case doubted.

I thought it was on the whole a quite amusing thread

MmeLindt... What I meant is that there are so many parents claiming that their child has ADHD and of that number, 'X' number of parents have actually had this diagnosed and are (hopefully) getting the help needed. There are some parents though who are quite happy to excuse bad behaviour and will glibly explain it as ADHD when they've never been anywhere for a consultation even and have no intention of ever going. That's what I meant.

My Mum has DLA mobility payments and I helped her with the form (twice). It's very difficult and the medical assessment was really painful for her too.

marmy
There were a lot of amusing posts, but I could not enjoy them as they were camouflaging a few really horrible opinions.

It was like being at an amusing party and trying to ignore the rantings of old Uncle Herbert in the corner who was railing about gays/disabled/women/minorities.