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AIBU?

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Original poster

My childs future Godparent groped me

280 replies

Changedhername · 04/02/2011 16:23

To cut a very long story short me and OH have a friend who is in his seventies and last year lost his wife.
Me and OH are alot younger then our 'friend' and we let him spend Easter/Xmas etc with us as he told us how lonely and bored and sad he was.
We even asked him to be Godfather to my youngest(DS 2 aged 7m).My eldest(DS 1 age 2.5)loves our friend as he acts like the lovely grandad.
Anyway over the months he has been coming around during the daytime while OH is at work and I would make him lunch etc and he would play with DC..
Around two weeks ago he asked me what it felt like to have such a big bust and after that he grabbed my breasts and fondled me.
I grabbed his hand and told him he should not touch me in that way ever again and how dare he do that etc.
He then started shouting at me 'how dare you hurt my feelings and push my hands away..you horrible person'!
Anyway I've told OH that he gives me the creeps and he got 'touchy feely' and that's why I've ignored him recently.
I just admitted to OH that he touched my breasts and OH said 'are you sure you didn't ask for it'?
OH says he blames me!Maybe I shouldn't have been so nice and asked him aroundConfused
Oh and to top it off said 'friend' is calling my house number and mobile everyday(10 to 20 times)and in the last 2 weeks he turned up at my house staring at me through the window and wouldn't go away.
I feel like I shouldn't have been so friendly with him-he now thinks he owns me.
I don't think he's a bad person he's just obsessed with me.
We live close and go to the same places.He's left me voice messages saying 'have you got a problem'? etc..
Don't know how to handle this situation.
Thanks for reading
(I've been here a while but name changed)Smile

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 04/02/2011 22:53

OP, I shall say this again

you obviously know how this board works

when you were the naive, hard-done-by young lady how nice you were

as soon as someone questioned the plausibilty of your tale, then that person "needs a shag"

shall I quote you, or do you need to keep trying to tell people you have been "polite all the way through this thread" ?

I fear all the deletions are going to help your whitewash as the hard-done-to poster here, when that is very far from the case

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 04/02/2011 22:54

FWIW I have been groped by my friend's grandad, at a party in full view of everybody. Everyone laughed it off because he's an old man (well, 70s) but I steered well clear of him after that. Bastard's probably being doing that to women for the past half century Angry, and now it's even easier for him to get away with it because of his age.

LoveBeingADaddysGirl · 04/02/2011 22:56

Except people don't get deleted for no reason generally

Original poster
Changedhername · 04/02/2011 22:57

Anyfucker-I said that comment instead of swaering or being vile!If you have nothing nice to say then why waste your time here?
I don't want an argument.

OP posts:
Emmanana · 04/02/2011 22:57

I have been involved in voluntary work for a while talking to kids who are being subjected to bullying and abuse. The Golden rule, is never to put the phone down on a child, just to listen. Even to calls where kids ring up and swear down the line, with a group of friends in the background, treating the service as some kind of joke. On countless occaisions, those very kids have rung back when alone and admitted to making those hoax calls, and that they really are asking for help.
Whether or not you think the OP is credible, or plausible, is up to you. We are all entitled to our own opinions. If you don't like what was written is that really justification to to try and score points, deconstruct the original post to the last fibre to try and prove that you are right in your disbelief?
Many have criticised the OP for being angry. There ws no anger in the OP, but I can understand if the OP is becoming angry.
She came on here to ask advice over an alleged sexual assault, and a number of posters have taken it upon themselves to turn the subject into entertainment, taking the piss, and even suggesting her OH is a pervert who is in collusion with the old man. I suspect I'm not the only one keeping up with the thread who are puzzled at the few who seem to find what has happened to the OP as a source of amusement. Confused

Original poster
Changedhername · 04/02/2011 22:57

Swearing*

OP posts:
SparkleSoiree · 04/02/2011 23:01

I'm shocked you asked a pensioner to be a Godparents.

You were showing kindness and he took advantage on a daily basis by the sound of it.

You are sexually assaulted in your own home, in front of or in earshot of the children and your OH blames you? Says a lot about your OH.

Have you considered reporting this to the police?

AnyFucker · 04/02/2011 23:15

I am presuming my posts were removed under the title of "sarcasm...cannot be tolerated" since none of them were abusive

OP's post to me though, where she says I should "get shagged" remains.

nice

OP...report away if it suits you to continue the whitewash. you are doing quite a good job actually. I salute you. You have many more brains than I do.

spongebobsquareknickers · 04/02/2011 23:17

Curious btw, AF as to who youre gonna shag...

ANYFUCKER??

Grin
spongebobsquareknickers · 04/02/2011 23:18

Chance would be a fine thing Wink

softglowsandmaybes · 04/02/2011 23:19

well its not YOU spongebob!!! Wink

spongebobsquareknickers · 04/02/2011 23:20

darn
:(

thought I was well in there!

AnyFucker · 04/02/2011 23:20
Grin
TheShriekingHarpy · 04/02/2011 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Emmanana · 04/02/2011 23:27

Has it not occured to you that OP may have had genuine motive to ask the guy to be GF?
That someone actually may be kind enough, to want to build up the guy, after the death of his wife, and think that asking him to be GF would add some enrichment to the life a bereaved man, especially as he got on so well with the children, and that they chose him to cement the 'adopted grandad' role.
Yeh with hindsight, crap choice, but it's not going to happen now anyway.
You ask why the OP has namechanged? I think you only have to read a page of this thread to see why.
Would you still have ripped the piss if you knew who she was? Gone through every post she has ever written in order to quote and taunt her further?
If you came across a young woman late at night, having been attacked and distressed, who you be asking any details or background before you offered to help?
Anyone who asks AIBU knows they risk a flaming from others opposing views, but by name changing, the OP knows if it got nasty, as it has tonight, that they have the protection of anonymity, as do victims of all sexual attacks and rape.
I hope the OP takes with her the constructive advice some Mnetters have offered, and also takes a while to look at a few threads on the board, see how some people act with alarmingly regularity with complete disregard to others feelings, drawing attention to themselves, at the expense of someone else.

spongebobsquareknickers · 04/02/2011 23:32

Quick query, isnt the point of a godparent to raise the child as a good christian if anything happens to you?

As a victim of rape, I have a valid opinion on something in particular. But I wont type it cause it will be deleted.

AnyFucker · 04/02/2011 23:35

I do wonder why someone would choose a godparent in their 70's

the whole premise being that they would take care of the child until adulthood if something were to happen to the parents

which was my first question on this thread...and got ignored of course

a baby, until adulthood...

a bloke, in his 70's, as godparent ?

nah

Emmanana · 04/02/2011 23:38

The role of a Godparent (According to the christening bumpf) is to teach the child christian values as they grow up. Nothing in there about bringing them up as a carer.
A lot of people live to 90+ So plenty of time to take the godchild to church every week, and sit and read the bible with them on sunny afternoons...
Hands up all Godparents who have ever had a serious conversation about Christianity with a Godchild.....

AnyFucker · 04/02/2011 23:41

did OP see this role for the mafia-connected grandad-substitute then, do we think ?

spongebobsquareknickers · 04/02/2011 23:44

Im also curious, (ignoring his age and not in any way an attack on the OP) on what he has done for you to think he deserves the honour of being godparent? IME its always family members or very close friends???

spongebobsquareknickers · 04/02/2011 23:44

good christian values - those sicilians are very strict catholics....

Emmanana · 04/02/2011 23:46

did OP see this role for the mafia-connected grandad-substitute then, do we think ?

What 'we think' about why/how the chose the guy is beside the point. The op did not ask for advice on that issue, just added the information to give a bit more background.

As she has said, the yarns he has been spinning came much later as they got to know him.

spongebobsquareknickers · 04/02/2011 23:53

so in your opinon, she asked him to be godparent before she got to know him?

AnyFucker · 04/02/2011 23:59

yes, because that would make sense wouldn't it...

ask some random old bloke to be godparent, because he is a widow and seems quite nice at first

except he isn't, and the OP has only know him a matter of months apparently

TheShriekingHarpy · 04/02/2011 23:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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