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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is it unreasonable to be lazy?

227 replies

KnittedBreast · 01/02/2011 10:48

Having read some threads on here about people listing all the things they do every day to support their families and do everything for the children am i the only one on here who just be arsed with it all?

Dont you just refuse to do anything some days and leave your partner to do it all?

like today, i am doing fuck all. im not cooking or cleaning in fact i plan on sleeping for a couple of hours and making dp pick up my son.

Is this lazy? I think alot of people on here need to stop being super mum and do nothing for a while.

OP posts:
clevercloggs · 01/02/2011 10:51

whats so hard about spending half an hour tidying up of a day? or does it eat into computer time Wink

I cant sit in mess and crap, it really doesnt take a few minutes to do the basics

Original poster
KnittedBreast · 01/02/2011 10:53

but why do that everyday? surely there are some days when you just dont do anything? if there is half an hours tidying up to do why cant your dp just do it?

i dont have a computer at home, only come here when i am at my mums.

OP posts:
Lovesdogsandcats · 01/02/2011 10:57

Are you depressed? If you are at home all day, whats half an hour? I do a full clean ie all the washing/put dry clothes away, hoover the whole house/clean bathroom/toilet/kitchen in under an hour, so I do it every day because I don't like living in a mess.

But i can see how if you are a bit down, it all seems like such an effort. Why not clean up, then sleep for a couple of hours?

HecateQueenOfWitches · 01/02/2011 11:00

There's nothing wrong with having a 'lazy day' now and again. We all need that.

There is a lot wrong with never doing anything ever and always leaving everything to other people while you sit on your arse. That is not normal and would, imo, indicate depression or an extremely idle person who is taking the piss.

So I guess it depends if you mean the odd lazy day or if you mean you never ever do anything.

I'm guessing you mean lazy day. Grin

tyzer2001 · 01/02/2011 11:00

Why does wanting to be lazy for a day have to equal depression?

Most days, I do a quick once-over the house. Some days I go 'Fuck it' - get the duvet on the couch and do bugger all.

I'm far from depressed, I just enjoy slobbing out sometimes.

Each to their own and all that, surely?

compo · 01/02/2011 11:02

Why isn't one of you at work if you're both home all day?!

TrillianAstra · 01/02/2011 11:03

Depends if your being lazy is putting someone else out.

fedupofnamechanging · 01/02/2011 11:03

I do think you may have a point. Sometimes, the more you do, the more it is taken for granted.

I have 4 DC so couldn't spend a whole day not cooking or clearing up a bit. I do however, spend some days in my (clean) PJs, if I'm not going out. My idea of bliss is a whole day at home with chocolate and a good book.

I did go to bed on Saturday afternoon for a nap, as my DD had kept me up all Friday night. My DH did then notice that she actually requires looking after and you can't just do your own thing all day while letting her play. It was good for him to know that.

NinkyNonker · 01/02/2011 11:04

I am pretty lazy on the whole. But I hate mess and can't relax if there is clutter or dirt, my brain can't think straight or see through it. Our house isn't spotless but it isn't bad either. So yanbu, but I couldn't do it surrounded by mess and clutter. And I am not a stepford wife but I would feel it unfair on dh to come home to a bombsite of my making too. He'd probably not even notice, but then I liked coming home to a nice house so I imagine he would do too. Easier said than done sometimes with a baby though!

StuffingGoldBrass · 01/02/2011 11:05

Not in the least. Housework is about 75% a waste of women's time. It deosn't need doing every day and a bit of mess won't kill you.

slightlymad72 · 01/02/2011 11:06

I believe I am entitled to a day off, either by doing nothing and vegging on the sofa or going out for a jolly around town. I work all week looking after everyone else, so why shouldn't I look after myself once in a blue moon. Also I didn't make the bloody mess so why should I keep tyding it up!!!!!

YANBU, enjoy your day.

Litchick · 01/02/2011 11:06

Not unreasonable, op.

If it makes you happy and your DP is happy too, then go for it.

Personally, I like to be busy.

Original poster
KnittedBreast · 01/02/2011 11:09

why isnt one of us at work?

one of us is at work-him.

im just saying that despite him being at work there are some days when i leave it to him to do.

OP posts:
BlueCollie · 01/02/2011 11:10

YANBU. I should be painting the kitchen ceiling, sending a witness statement off, doing the ironing and also really should have washed up by now but quite frankly I can't be arsed...I am shattered and have a few hours with no child before I have to walk the dog and go pick him up. I am being lazy and although I am lazing on sofa/here I don't care right now...in fact I am even being too lazy to make myself a cuppa Grin

So no we aren't all supermums infact I am far from it and my tracksuit has been my choice of dress since my husband went to Afghan it will be a sad sad day when he is back and I will have to start defuzzing again and the tracksuit with holes will be relegated to only coming out when I exercise Wink

Ormirian · 01/02/2011 11:10

I can't do nothing. I just physically can't. The last time I did nothing all day I had flu - and even then I kept trying to drag myself downstairs to get the hoover to clean my disgusting bedroom. I fainted on the stairs. Twat!

That is one of the reasons why it makes me so cross when no-one else bothers to clean or tidy - because it makes me unable to relax.

However I think you are right. We'd all be better off if we were able to be lazy.

clevercloggs · 01/02/2011 11:12

so nobody would mind if the mum went to work and the husband stayed at home all day and still expected mum to do the tidying up when she got home Grin

i can hear the shouts of "leave the lazy git" from here

Original poster
KnittedBreast · 01/02/2011 11:15

i just dont see the point int constantly tidying up, i have two children why even bother?

also i have a thing, i do most of everything usually unless like today i cant be bothered. my dp knows that if he dousnt do the washing up ready for the next day after i have cooked dinner then i just dont cook dinner the next night. il be damne dif im going to get kids ready tidy up prepare dinner, do homework all etc and he cant be bothered to do the washing up. its all i ask.

he did no washing up and as a result he can do the washing up when he gets in from work and then cook.

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 01/02/2011 11:16

I hoover daily, and polish. I also clean the kitchen and hall floor (hard floors).

If I don't dust everyday my son writes his name in it.

Original poster
KnittedBreast · 01/02/2011 11:20

seriously? isnt it soul destroying? ive never dusted. ever.

and i never see any dust!! i dont think id even know how to polish!!

OP posts:
RealityIsKnockedUp · 01/02/2011 11:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThreIsNoSpoon · 01/02/2011 11:20

But isnt the childcare and housework your 'work'? Ok, it is unpaid, but still. I do think it is a bit unfair to leave it to him to do after he has had a whole day at work while you have done nothing? Does HE get a day to do nothing? Fair share all round I agree, but doing NOTHING? Yes, he probably should have done the dishes last night, but seems you are trying hard to make a point of not doing them to teach him a lesson, and that isnt fair. My DH would go mad if I did nothing all day.

TrillianAstra · 01/02/2011 11:24

You sound pretty selfish to think that you are entitled to do nothing all day and expect another person who has been working all day to do it for you when they get home.

(polishing every day sounds ridiculous, I think people invent work to do for themselves sometimes)

TrillianAstra · 01/02/2011 11:24

Everyone should get an equal amount of time to sit down and do as they please.

cumbria81 · 01/02/2011 11:24

I think some people take housework to the extreme. There is no need to clean a house every single day. A bit of mess is fine.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 01/02/2011 11:28

YABU. I am pretty lazy but I do sufficient to keep our house looking reasonable. True, there is a pile of ironing that will (or would) take a couple of hours to do, but, DH and DD both go out in the morning looking tidy.
I think if I did as little as you seem to, DH would have words.
I do agree with trillian, some people seem to invent work to do, but it is the work of 45 minutes at most to keep on top of stuff.

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