is it unreasonable to be lazy?

[KnittedBreast]

Having read some threads on here about people listing all the things they do every day to support their families and do everything for the children am i the only one on here who just be arsed with it all?

Dont you just refuse to do anything some days and leave your partner to do it all?

like today, i am doing fuck all. im not cooking or cleaning in fact i plan on sleeping for a couple of hours and making dp pick up my son.

Is this lazy? I think alot of people on here need to stop being super mum and do nothing for a while.

In response to OP, I sometimes feel like this.

We have 4 under 6 and when DH is at work, I am not sat around doing nothing, I appreciate neither is he, but he comes home and then does what he wants to do whereas I carry on doing what I have been doing all day - looking after the kids and doing stuff around the house.

There is rarely a time when there is nothing that needs doing.

I don't often get to just do things I want to do.

Me neither, Mommy. Believe it or not, I'm a card-carrying, bra-burning feminist. It's whoever is at home should be doing the lions share of the housework. That's the top and bottom of it.

When I was with ex, I used to get home from work, and after whizzing around doing some housework, ask what was for tea - he would say.. oh nothing, I'm not hungry

It's a personal bugbear of mine, this. Can you tell?

I am having a lazy day today. I'm a single parent so do all cooking/cleaning/school runs/homework etc as well as working. Today DD is off school with a cold and I have a day off work. We are both on the sofa watching DVDs in our pyjamas which is where I plan to spend the rest of the day. I will still have to cook dinner and bath DD at some point, but it is still a very lazy day and I don't see anything wrong with that.

I mean DH comes home then plays Xbox or watches football or whatever.
I meant in our house, not a generalisation.

muminthecity - that is entirely different. You do anything anyway, so you're not expecting anyone else to pick up the slack.

I think doing nothing is becoming a lost art

I'm a lazy arse. If I'm off work I could spend the whole day cleaning and at the end of the day the place would still look like a bomb site - my kids are quicker at mess making than I am at cleaning. So I have a mad half hour tidying up before DP comes in, so he doesn't moan.

Honestly, you all dust your skirting boards? every day

Do I fuck do my skirting boards

:)

Um I don't necessarily choose to have a lazy day but I'm aware that I'm not as productive in the home as a lot of people clearly are.

When I'm being kind to myself I put this down to my dodgy back.

However, I've never expected my DH to be the one picking up the slack for this - don't know the nature of your DH's work but mine often leaves at the crack of dawn for a red-eye flight or train journey, then knocks himself out at the end of the day to get home to us.

If I greeted him with 'there's no dinner because you didn't wash up last night' I just can't imagine what he'd say. And I think I'd be ashamed of myself for having such an attitude.

That doesn't make me a Stepford Wife - just part of a partnership where, ideally, we each do what's needed as and when.

I do wonder about your situation with your youngest, though; you don't say how old she is, but it must be hideous having a child who screams all day and is so clingy. Is anything being done about this? Do you think you might be depressed from it all? Not being nosey or judgey, just wonder how that must affect your get-up-and-go.

YANBU.

I do most, but not all, of the shopping, housework, washing, cooking. DH works full time.

My hours are flexible, I have days when I do bugger all and I have days when I work like a dog. If the house is untidy sometimes, that's not a problem. My mess threshold is generally much lower than DH's anyway.

On a weekend/evening when we are both in together, I wouldn't be working around the house on my own. If I'm doing a job around the house, so is he, whether that be playing with DS, hoovering, changing the bed whatever.

Having children isn't a job- yes can be hardwork and tiring but I really don't think its a job. There your kids! - you sound like your resentful for having them.

Maybe you need to get some help on ways that might help you with parenting them - eg advice on how to deal with screaming etc - get supernanny in :)

Not saying he shouldn't help out with washing up etc but u could stop playing the punishing game that he didn't do it last night and just do it then have a word with him about doing it in the future.
But what I do think is unreasonable is you saying leave him to do it all when he's been working all day. You are at home in the day so you get on with it then have a break. Tbh a bit of tidying up then you can watch tv. You can't expect to do nothing.

That, right there ^. That's how it should be.

In answer to your wuestion though OP - I think everyone deserves the right to say 'fuck it, i am doing NOWT today'

You just can't do it every day that's all.

I hoover my skirting boards, probably every couple of days. They get bloody filthy god knows why, the bastarding things.

I have furniture hiding in front of most of my skirting boards !

Lazy ass get some work done!

i dont have to greet him with no dinner, he already knows what to expect. and then apologises for not not washing up.

my youngest is just turned 2. im not depressed from it but as it i cant just hand her over to him it is me that bares the brunt of it and so like today i am having a lazy day. she does scream if im not holding her, il put her down to go for a wee and she screams blue murder if i go to pick her up she stops instantly smiles and kisses me.

the hv told me to let her cry it out, if i did she would cry all day and her cry is so loud (an its not just me everyone else agrees) id have social services round in seconds. my son cant put up with the crying but i cant leave her to cry while i wash up and then prepare and cook dinner and leave her to scream that long, my son runs away crying. what am i supposed to do then? leave him to cry and let her scream for the hour and a half it takes to do washing up and dinner etc? no. thats why he HAS to help out.

Whoever called OP a skank, you should be bloody ashamed of yourself, thats an awful thing to say.

for fucks sake i dont no nothing! everyday i work (yes thats what it is) from 7am until 1am minimum. so I deserve a lazy day occasiinally, im shocked you think i dont.

and as said before this isnt every day, most days i do it all, but today. nothing is happening.

You know what, if you have a dd who is hard work, and ALL your DP has to do is wash up, then he has it easy. He knows the rules. If he doesn't wash up(and how hard is that) he does not get dinner? Fair enough!!

You work in the home until 1am every day??? Sorry, I don't believe you.

id much rather have dirty skirting boards than call another female the c word...

That's surely not the point, Lovesdogsandcats!

Actually, you're right. He does have it easy. All he has to do is earn the fucking money to put the aforesaid meal on the table, so he might as well cook it as well, the lazy bastard