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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is it unreasonable to be lazy?

227 replies

KnittedBreast · 01/02/2011 10:48

Having read some threads on here about people listing all the things they do every day to support their families and do everything for the children am i the only one on here who just be arsed with it all?

Dont you just refuse to do anything some days and leave your partner to do it all?

like today, i am doing fuck all. im not cooking or cleaning in fact i plan on sleeping for a couple of hours and making dp pick up my son.

Is this lazy? I think alot of people on here need to stop being super mum and do nothing for a while.

OP posts:
MoonUnitAlpha · 01/02/2011 12:18

I wipe the window sills down occasionally, and I wipe kitchen and bathroom surfaces down every now and again - haven't noticed the TV or bookshelves getting dusty though.

Original poster
KnittedBreast · 01/02/2011 12:19

yes but you are a single mum, there is no one else to do it. If you had a partner wouldnt you expect him to do at least a couple of things?

i dont have shelves, double glazed windows that dont have anywhere for dust to settle. the tv isnt dusty either..

why is it taking the piss that he has things he has to do aswell?

OP posts:
Original poster
KnittedBreast · 01/02/2011 12:21

i wipe the kitchen surfaces mostly everyday, the bathroom gets done occassionally.

ive never cleaned the windows, but they arent dirty.

OP posts:
TheDevilAndTheDeepBlueSea · 01/02/2011 12:23

It's not that I wouldn't expect him to do a couple of things - it's a partnership. And everyone is entitled to a lazy day.

But you are intimating that you expect him to do either the washing up or cooking every night. Why haven't you done it?

When I was married, my exh was unemployed and at home for a long time. To be honest, him not pulling his weight around the house whilst I was at work supporting my family, ultimately led to the breakdown of our relationship. It's disrespectful if it's more than once in a while. He's doing his job. You do yours.

Original poster
KnittedBreast · 01/02/2011 12:30

I most definatly do expect him to do the washing up, if not that evening then the next morning. why should i cook dinner, tidy up, do breakfasts and home works and everything else and him enjoy his lovely meal and not do anything else in way of thanks or appreciation? fuck that.

anyone notice how some men go from womb to mother to wife and still have women bieng grateful when they do one thing a day to contibute to the house hold work?

my job is not to be his cook and cleaner!!

OP posts:
HappyMummyOfOne · 01/02/2011 12:34

I think if one partner works enabling the other to stay home and not work then its very unreasonable to leave the housework and expect it to be done by the partner working.

christmaswishes · 01/02/2011 12:43

Knitted you don't go out to work do you like your husband so therefore you have chosen to stay at home and look after the kids and house. You can't expect to sit watching tv all day whilst your husband is working hard in the day plus bringing in the money for you to be able to do that. It is selfish. I would feel bad about it, don't you?. Do you love your husband?

So what he hasn't done washing up, whilst your doing nothing why don't you go and be kind and do it for him? It will take what 15mins out of your lazy day! You don't seem very caring at all.

Your job as you call it isn't 24hours . If it was you wouldn't be sat on mumsnet and being able to sit their all day doing nothing at all and not evening making your husbands tea.

RealityIsKnockedUp · 01/02/2011 12:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrillianAstra · 01/02/2011 12:49

You are not asking him to do a fair share.

You are asking him to go out to work while you "refuse to do anything and leave it all for him to do".

bubblewrapped · 01/02/2011 12:51

So, your bloke goes to work all day, to keep the roof over your head, and you cant be arsed to wash up, and when he gets home you wont have washed up, or cooked him any dinner, and you expect him to then do the washing up and cook.

You have never dusted and never cleaned windows?

What exactly do you do all day?

You are either on a wind up, or you a selfish lazy mare who will wonder one day why your husband fucked off and left.

Original poster
KnittedBreast · 01/02/2011 12:54

but he dousnt do everthing, thats my point. i expect him to do the washing up. thats all.

an actually my job is 24 hours- how would you know it isnt?

most days im doing everything and so sometimes i have a day off, im shocked that others dont do this!

15mins out of my lazy day? watching tv all day? you have no idea. im only on mn because im at my mums house having a nice quiet day.

whats wrong with him being kind enough to remember to do the washing up for me? as he gets his clothes washed, dinners cooked, never has to do anything with the childre, no bedtime bath time, home work or school runs

I havent chosen to be at home, usually i work all weekend, but as its seasonal i wont be back until at work until the end of the month.

also we are most definalty not married! and no i dont feel bad for this at all. i would feel far worse if i didnt have my lazy day sometimes!

OP posts:
Original poster
KnittedBreast · 01/02/2011 12:55

i do not leave him to do everthing!! the washing up is all!!! deary me

OP posts:
onehotmomma · 01/02/2011 12:56

I do all the housework (I'm a sahm and dh works ft) and he doesn't do any household chores at all during the week BUT he will pick up kids from school, bathe the kids everynight, read, homework etc which I'm fine with. At the weekends he will do any DIY that needs doing and help me dry up, take bins out etc

I have days when I really cba but if I don't do the washing up it will stay there until I decide to do it lol

TrillianAstra · 01/02/2011 13:00

"15mins out of my lazy day?"

You said you were going to do nothing all day and "leave your partner to do it all"

You are now backtracking because you've been told your are a lazy selfish skank.

TrillianAstra · 01/02/2011 13:00

*you are

Chandon · 01/02/2011 13:03

Knittedbreast you're a bit of a hero.

I do the same.

Partly because while DH gets time off at the weekend, I still run around doing breakfast, lunch and dinner (and washing up as well, with DC help), DC homework, make the beds, do yet another load of laundry etc. etc,

So I take time off during the week! I also sometimes do NOT cook any dinner for DH and self so he appreciates it when I do, IYSWIM.

Just make sure you don't feel guilty, and enjoy it. And hide this thread if you don't get the responses you wanted Grin.

Original poster
KnittedBreast · 01/02/2011 13:05

ok. very clearly.

I usually do everything, some days like today I plan to do nothing. You are right i do not plan to do the washing up today, as i am having a lazy day.

i am not back tracking at all.

im not lazy, im having a lazy day. and im certainly not a skank!

onehotmomma, your dp has his things that he does, home work and bathing the children. my dp does none of this, so his job is the washing up each day.

no difference at all.

OP posts:
onehotmomma · 01/02/2011 13:05

forgot dh changes the beds too as that gets right on my tits Grinlol

Original poster
KnittedBreast · 01/02/2011 13:07

i suppose him washing up is a reminder that there are no house elves and that while yes he works he still has to do offer something more than cash to our family and household.

talk about the triple shift

OP posts:
Cat98 · 01/02/2011 13:14

People are being a bit harsh to KB imo. Unless I am a lazy skank too? Probably Wink

I work 2 days a week. DP works 5 days a week.
I look after our DS (2). This is my work when DP is at work. When DS goes to sleep (45 mins roughly) I take my lunch break. DP gets a lunch break at work!

I do sort out the washing, and cook dinner for us all for when DP comes home. I might do a rough tidy before DP comes home of the living room if it is very messy. But other than that, I don't do housework. No time!

DP does the washing up every night after dinner. We share the cleaning/tidying at weekends, but neither of us minds an untidy house really.

TheDevilAndTheDeepBlueSea · 01/02/2011 13:15

It doesn't matter how you paint it - you asked if it was unreasonable to be lazy. Sometimes, it's not unreasonable - I think you're perfectly entitled to have time off, everyone is, whether they work in the home or outside the home. But the way you're telling it, you pretty much seem to do fuck all, tbh.

It sounds like I'm saying that you should have a hot meal waiting for your partner when he gets home - I'm quite aware it's not 1920 - but seriously, what do you do all day? How many dc do you have? How hard is it to make an evening meal and do the washing up?

I'm not old fashioned in the slightest - if I was, I wouldn't have accepted my ex being a SAHD for 3 years while I worked 10 hour days. But regardless of gender, the kind of jobs you are talking about are the role of the person that works in the home. The clue is in the word 'works' Hmm

Sorry, you are being lazy and disrespectful, imo.

Cat98 · 01/02/2011 13:15

Oh, when DP is home we also share the looking after of DS, so while I might put DS to bed DP will have bathed him.

Cat98 · 01/02/2011 13:16

Am I a "lazy skank"? I'm interested Grin

bubblewrapped · 01/02/2011 13:17

Cat98, Looking after a child is not a full time job that renders you unable to do any housework.

How on earth can you say you have no time to do housework if you are at home 5 days a week?

RealityIsKnockedUp · 01/02/2011 13:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.