to think that the breastfeeding room is for breastfeeding?

[emsyj]

Today I went into the breastfeeding room at my local John Lewis to find a lady on a prayer mat praying. I was a bit taken aback really and just wondered if I am being unreasonable in thinking this is inappropriate.

The breastfeeding room is generally very well used. I have never been alone in there, and today another lady came in to feed her baby a couple of minutes after I arrived. The room is pretty small - with 7 small tub chairs it is full really, with space for probably one pram/buggy if all the chairs are taken. Often on a Saturday it is standing room only in there. On weekdays there are on average 2-3 women in there feeding when I go in.

The lady praying today had taken up two chairs with her stuff and then laid out her mat on the floor. This didn't leave much space for people who actually wanted to use the facility for its intended purpose. However, I think my main objection to the lady praying is twofold: firstly, I felt a bit uncomfortable whipping my boobs out in front of someone who was actively in prayer. I am not generally bothered about feeding in front of people (I only left the restaurant to feed because DD is now 8 months old and very easily distracted so I wasn't getting anywhere in there) but I did feel inhibited. Secondly, the breastfeeding room is for women who are breastfeeding - surely people should have some respect for that? Maybe I am being a bit precious on this one, but really the facilities for breastfeeding (if you want to feed in private) are very limited and should be reserved for people who really need them.

So, am I being unreasonable then???

reeling

I did - but whilst laughing at the harry hill style 'fight' many posters raised.

How is that offensive? Stretching the point of using a private room for a different purpose I admit, but how is it offensive?

And you still haven't explained on what grounds you'd question my life and motives, simply because I think people who aren't engaged in the activity of breastfeeding shouldn't be in a breastfeeding room.

When I bf with dh in JL (acronym city this) I do it in the ff room as I assume some women in the bf area are there so as not to be with men. But that may just piss every MNer within a five mile radius off. In fact I might have just managed to fuck with both sides of the bf/ff debate.

I have bf in the John Lewis breastfeeding room. Sometimes it's full and bf mothers have to feed in the bottle feeding section.

Mind you, I have also opted to bf on one of the nice sofas in the furniture department, which is on the same floor.

I'd just be annoyed that she'd taken up 2 chairs whilst talking to her imaginary friend.

FGS at "feeling you would be intruding".

She just wanted to get somewhere slightly off the beaten track. If she'd objected to you coming in to breastfeed and disturbing then you could have complained to the management.

But that didn't happen did it?

IME a man who is in the BF area with his partner will leave if another woman comes in to BF. It's kind of obvious that that's the right thing to do, I think.

It's offensive because wanking in public is offensive.
The BF room is public albeit private to BFing Mothers.
And that was a weird thing to even think.

Have to say, one of the most surprising things I have seen on this thread is that JL segregate breastfeeders and bottlefeeders.

How odd not to feel as if you are intruding when you go into a quiet small space and someone is alone in there, on their knees in silent commune with whatever deity they believe in.

I agree wanking in public is offensive but bibbity said my comment was offensive.

I agree it was silly but how is it offensive? Or should I have typed w**k instead of wank?

Bibbety I think because a ff might be a man?

"IME a man who is in the BF area with his partner will leave if another woman comes in to BF. It's kind of obvious that that's the right thing to do, I think."

I totally disagree that its the "obvious thing" for a man to have to move away from an area if a woman is breastfeeding. Fgs.

I think its really offensive to liken praying to wanking and think you should actually withdraw your comment.

And I'm not particularly religious.

This is all about women needing privacy to do things if they so wish - why cant we all stand together on it sigh.

Or maybe in the past they've had trouble?

HANG ON A SECOND!!!

Let me get this straight?

We are saying men should not witness breastfeeding?

It was offensive because wanking in public is offensive.
Especially more so where children are likely to be present.

And still a weird thing to think.

I did not liken praying to wanking - get a grip.

I was saying that I don't think it's acceptable to use a breastfeeding room for an entirely different purpose.

Praying is great, I'm all for it, I pray.

But I don't use places set aside for people with a particular important need for a completely different use just because it's convenient for me.

So in your opinion BF areas should be open to anyone who wants to use them for anything - men not feeding babies, people wanting to pray etc etc.

And anyone who does not feel confident about BF in public should either stay at home or switch to formula. We can't all be confident hard types who don't bat an eyelid. I dislike the implication that women who are not super-confident about feeding are pathetic and feeble. For some women it is a hard thing to get the hang of, many women find it hard to be "discreet".

And yes I do think that it's fairly obvious that a labelled BF area is not for men.

bibbity I think that some women who choose to use a BF room rather than BF in public do so because they are not comfortable being seen BF. This is a shame but it is their right to choose to go somewhere private if such a space is available. If they have chosen to use a room for the express puspose of being out of sight of men, it is useful that men who wish to FF their children can do so without disturbing them. Nobody is saying that men shoud not witness BF, but I can understand a woman who is still building her confidence or is in the early days and has to get half naked to BF wanting a bit of privacy.

I think it's really selfish to commandeer places like that without making arrangements beforehand. People are happy to organise places for prayer a lot of the time, it just requires the courtesy of a request.

I don't care whether the Pope watches me bf but I know some women are uncomfortable in front of men, that this area is intended for them and that dh wouldn't ever want to be the cause of someone feeling uncomfortable about feeding their child. That's reasonable isn't it?

Boffin it is possible that she did make an arrangement with the store manager and this was the place they organised for her. The BF room is just a room that the management put aside for BF, very nice of them to do so but no legal requirement and they can let anyone they like use it.

But my point is that the vast majority of women who want to go out shopping (in the early days of bf or whenever) do not get to use a JL breastfeeding room. Simply because there are not that many of them in the country. You either breastfeed in public, or you don't, surely?

I'm going to have to go to bed. What a depressing discussion. Who knew that BF a tiny baby when out and about is a choice (try telling your breasts that) or that it was perfectly reasonable for men to hang out in areas set aside for BF. You learn something every day.

What about the baby that takes an hour to feed? What should the Dad do? Hang around outside? Should the BF mum (who may also be new to BF and nervous)feed somewhere else?