to think that having sex 5 days after childbirth is plain bloody strange?

[GetOrfMoiLand]

DP's friend's wife has just had a baby last Thursday. All fine and dandy, but she had a long birth (24 hours or so).

DP saw his mate yesterday, asked how the baby was etc, said 'yep she's fine and so is X (his wife), we had a good shag as well last night, so all back to normal'

DP thought 'wtf' and so did I.

5 months!!!!!!!

now that is a bit extreme. i did it the week before my 6 week check up just to make sure everything was back in working order.

The midwife at our antenatal class told us that they have caught couples having sex on the maternity unit (after delivery) more than once!

"There was a poster on MN recently who felt the need to share the fact she had given her OH a BJ (in hospital) 45 mins after giving birth. She said she felt so amazingly empowered by giving birth that it was an appropriate response."

Hang on. That can't be right. Where do you find the time 45 mins after birth to nosh your OH off? IIRC the 45 mins after birth were spent having fanjo stitched up, having breast-feeding counsellor going "no, not like that dear", paediatricians checking DC, various MWs popping heads round door, nurses bringing in toast and milky tea, MILS and mothers arguing over names. I mean what the fuck?

We had sex 6 days after my last c-section. It's whatever you feel comfortable with, surely?

It's dangerous. We had DS1 in a birth unit that had double beds for partners to stay after and they specifically warned us against it as a woman had died there after having sex just after a baby. You should warn your friend against this.

Perhaps they ate a Shag and it was delicious? Or smoked some lovely shag tobacco?

Blimey Valium, that is getting back on the horse a bit bloody sharpish.............how long was she in hospital for? I'm hoping it was more than 24 hrs!

Some people do feel like it though, and all loved up etc. The loon and the blowjob from the other day though just sounded weirdly competitive.

OMG and here's me 3 years on wondering if I'll be ok yet? blardy hell, I cannot imagine that at all, yak

I bled for about 3 months on and off and that was with a section!!!

When my mum was in hospital after having me the woman in the bed across from her got her husband to pull the curtains and they had a quick shag. They kept you in for 10 days in the 70s though so it could have been up to 10 days after the birth I suppose..

A woman died in that bed? Blimey, that would be a passion-killer.

I know a couple of people who have siblings 9 months younger than them, clearly not everybody waits.

pat I have no idea - after that introduction it was all I could do to be polite and smile

"my fanjo looked like roadkill 5 weeks after, never mind 5 days" - hilarious! Bupcakes, they should include that description in antenatal classes

YANBU. Eeewww!!

I was still sitting on a rubber ring 5 days post DS1's delivery, and mainlining strong painkillers! It was several months before I felt like sex again.

Maybe they used a different entrance?

But seriously too much information either way.

Was it an ill-thought out, sleep deprived, half-insane-with-stress joke, perhaps?

6 mo on it still hurts a fair bit.

1. it's a very odd thing to come out with after being asked how things are. maybe things aren't alright and he's been told to put airs on about it? it's an immature way to deal with it if it is the case though. personally, neither set of parents knew the gory details of the complications after ours, and i don't want them to know the intimate medical details. perhaps this lady has asked her DH to do the same?

1. what a horrible way to speak about your partner!

1. i was also advised to wait until the 6 week check - for medical reasons, i assume, the midwife certainly didn't appear to be telling me from a morality or "eww that's gross" POV, unfortunately due to complications it wouldn't have happened at 6 weeks anyway.

The thought makes my eyes water - 5 days after all my births I was stil in hospital.

I hope he was joking/bragging.

My friend is a midwife and she says it's actually not that uncommon for them to find couples going at it on the post-labour ward. Bizarre. I can't imagine a relationship where it would seem appropriate to be shagging hours after giving birth- seems almost abusive to me.

I guess if you've had a very straightforward delivery 5 days might be OK apart from the air embolism risks (which to be fair, are slight) or risks of damage to tears/ increased risk of uterine infection. The thought of which would in no way enhance my mood or willingness to partake in a roll in the hay. And I certainly couldn't be done with the lochia related messiness.

But mostly I just didn't feel sexy for weeks, nay months, after giving birth.

Ok, I'll hold my hands up and say that the only thing stopping us having sex after my VB was a tear. If that hadn't been an issue I would've. I was on some crazy hormonal high anyway and about a week after she was born I was pretty much overcome by urges. Poor DP was subjected to a few things quite forcefully but intercourse was out of the question. I can easily see how, for some women with easy births and the right mix of hormones, they have sex right away. After my section it was totally off the menu for weeks and weeks!

Fayrazzled beat me to it!

I have a couple of friends who are midwives and they tell horrific stories of stopping people having sex on the postnatal ward. It's quite sad really.