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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell my nanny she can't take days of for her wedding.

1002 replies

Foreverondiet · 25/01/2011 20:18

Have had same nanny for several years and each year she does some sort of retreat thing in June, 2 weeks. She is allowed 2 weeks holiday when she chooses and the rest when we choose (usually another 4 weeks worth).

Anyway she tells me she is getting married.... I think nothing of it until cleaner says did you know it was in September this year. I ask the nanny and she said, yes she was thinking she's take some unpaid leave. Try to push how much she needs, she wants another couple of weeks. I suggested maybe she wouldn't do the retreat this year but she was almost in tears and said she couldn't believe I wouldn't give her time of for getting married (she's going back home to eastern Europe to get married).

I asked her why she thought it would be ok, as I don't have enough holiday to cover it because we have already committed to go away with DH's parents. And yes I can take unpaid parental leave but this would be very expensive, and leave my boss being a bit annoyed with me.

The reason we have a nanny is that I have 3 DC, aged 4,7 and 9 months and its the only way I can work (full day nursery/childminder for baby plus after school would cost almost the same and this way she looks after older DC if they are ill or during school holidays).

Her wedding is on a Saturday and she works for me Mon/Tues and Thurs so its not as if she HAS to take time off, and if it really was that important to her why does she not cancel the retreat?

OP posts:
Portofino · 26/01/2011 22:37

Now try

CurlyhairedAssassin · 26/01/2011 22:38

I worked in education as support staff when I got married. I needed 3 weeks cos got married abroad (2 weeks altogether) plus came back to UK and had a party back home which was 200 miles away from my place of work. I took all of it out of my annual leave, although I had to get my employer to agree to the 3rd week because it was straight after the 2 week Easter break and so during term-time (leave was usually expected to be only taken during holiday closure times). She did grumble a bit, but agreed to it. At least I'd had the courtesy to ask her well in advance,though, and I knew there would be cover for my post.

Portofino · 26/01/2011 22:38

The survey - that is.

dittany · 26/01/2011 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portofino · 26/01/2011 22:46

Updated accordingly.

Cain · 26/01/2011 22:47

reeling just for you...click the preview tab

I had to delete the other as I gave my personal email to save it.

Portofino, I need a bit more data or the results will be skewed and I am nothing if not accurate [bwink]

Portofino · 26/01/2011 22:49

I am chuckling at the "not Polish" response rate.

Cain · 26/01/2011 22:49

Oh very nice survey. I have completed.

dittany · 26/01/2011 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portofino · 26/01/2011 22:52

I didn't know that, Dittany. What was she demonstrating?

ivykaty44 · 26/01/2011 22:52

I liked all the ticks - I ticked them all do I get a prize?

dittany · 26/01/2011 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cain · 26/01/2011 22:54

I didn't know that!

Thank you dittany, I thought so too.

huddspur · 26/01/2011 22:54

Were pie charts not developed by a guy called Playfair

wukter · 26/01/2011 22:55

Cain you should do a pie chart for every long ranty thread and get them included in talk roundup.

Portofino · 26/01/2011 22:56

ivy - that is cheating! I am tired and going to bed in a minute. I apologise if my survey does not stand up to rigorous scrutiny! Grin

dittany · 26/01/2011 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cain · 26/01/2011 22:56

Oh I can think of no better way to end this evening than an investigation into the origin of the piechart.

Love it.

Portofino · 26/01/2011 22:57

Wukter - that is a fab idea!

reelingintheyears · 26/01/2011 22:58

Thankyou dittany.

reelingintheyears · 26/01/2011 23:00

Far too clever for the likes of me to understand though.

Portofino · 26/01/2011 23:00

Biscuit - 17%
Op is a troll - 2%
YABVVVVVU - 10%
I heart you lots - 25%
Makes witty comment that may or may not be relevant - 46%

MyrrhyBS · 26/01/2011 23:01

For my first marriage, my employer gave me an extra week's paid holiday. That was a nice touch...

Cain · 26/01/2011 23:02

Ah I must to bed.

Thank you dittany for teaching me something new today.

Wukter nice idea but I have a full time job! Grin Do you know how many ranty threads we have on mumsnet?!

blueshoes · 26/01/2011 23:07

How does a temporary nanny work? Presumably the OP still has to show her the ropes ie baby's routines, schoolrun, activities. Being September, the 2 older children would have just gone back to school and all the extra adjustment and disruption which ensues to have to break someone in at that time, with children out of routine.

I would assume the OP would either need to take some leave anyway, or overlap with the existing nanny so that the existing nanny can do the handover but that would cost.

I don't think a temporary nanny is that easy a solution others think it is. A temporary nanny can hardly slot in.

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