Babyheave, thank you for the link. It's clear to me that IrisM thinks love is a magical feeling (not a verb which it should be as was so eloquently pointed out by Bumpsadaisie) and that a relationship with a child should fill some void in her, basically a one way street, something she is entitled to, and entitled to feel angry and resentful about if it doesn't magically appear to transform her life.
IrisM, children don't have to like you. You are not entitled to their affection. They are not there to meet some need of yours.
You have no right to pour scorn and hatred upon them when they refuse to play the role you have assigned to them.
You are not thinking or feeling or behaving like an adult. You are not interested in a discussion of uncomfortable subjects either. You seem to have a hard time accepting that everyone doesn't have to like you. You are engaged in a sulk, a slow burning tantrum.
Your problem lies in your relationship with this weasly man who has blamed his DD for his own decision not to have any more children (with you), who used weasel words like 'complicated' to explain past events and relationships, and whom you have put between a rock and a hard place.
Stop scapegoating this child and deflecting your anger from what should be the real focus, and stop thinking this child, or any child for that matter, should fill your emotional needs.