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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to despise the term "manshape" with a vengeance

269 replies

figcake · 21/01/2011 22:16

.. and close down all threads where it appears (it appears to be catching on).. bring back "hubby" pleeeeeeese

OP posts:
OracleInaCoracle · 22/01/2011 13:07

I call dh The Man on fb and ds The Boy.

jessiealbright · 22/01/2011 13:08

PS: in case you're wondering, it was a best friend who was breastfeeding

marantha · 22/01/2011 13:16

It's got to be better than 'partner' so for that alone it gets the thumbs up.

ethelina · 22/01/2011 13:18

Yes I like Boy.

marantha · 22/01/2011 13:19

Partner is such a smug word, isn't it? As in, 'We don't need to be married, we're partners and we are in harmony in every way. How dare you suggest we should marry!' Ugh!!
Manshape, f*buddy, boyfriend, hubby, fiancee, all absolutely fine by me.

CatIsSleepy · 22/01/2011 13:24

oh good lord why do you give a toss
YABU

JaneS · 22/01/2011 13:36

Gosh, I would never have thought of 'partner' as smug! Confused

Until pretty recently, I would have said it was a good term to use, because it makes no distinction between me and my friends who're in civil partnerships. Increasingly it's become acceptable/understandable for said friends to refer to 'my wife' or 'my husband' without anyone misunderstanding, so it's less important.

But I don't think partner is necessarily an anti-marriage term; it's more like 'no comment'. DH is my partner, that describes our relationship. He's my husband as well.

MittzyBittzyTeenyWeeny · 22/01/2011 13:45

I have have got better things to be doing than getting annoyed by what other people call their close ones,

and don't usually even rise to these threads but the 'manshape' thing is annoying because it is judgemental of a MNers choice of endearment without knowing the background.

Which is proof of why people shouldn't judge things without knowing the full story.

Have personally also never seen anyone other than Dee using it but

AF or 'Auntie Flo' does make me shudder. it is like anthromorphisising(?) a bodily function - one that is currently reducing me to tears and a ball of self pitying misery and pain.

crumbletastic · 22/01/2011 13:52

I've no idea who dee is but it is used prolificically all over the internet and is horrible. It's not as bad as calling your husband/boyfriend/partner 'the boy' though which I see more commonly. A boy? Really? I'm quite proud that my husband is a man.

deemented · 22/01/2011 14:03

Ohhh.. this old chesnut.

Yes, i call manshape Manshape because that's what he is. When my husband died... well.. he was my partner, we were a unit.. and manshape... well... it felt wrong to call him DP, although i did for a while. Then i found a word to dicribe him that i felt more comfortable using, so i do.

It's never meant as a derogatory term at all. He knows i call him that and he's fine with it - it amuses him greatly.

If people don't like it, then i'm sorry, but it's their problem. I'm not going to stop using it.

samstown - Manshape and i were together for a year when i was sixteen. He was my first love, and then life took us our seperate ways, and i met and married DH.

TBH - if people have a problem with anything i write i'd much rather they PM'd me or used the search facility then start yet another thread about it.

Gets a bit boring after a while.

bibbitybobbityhat · 22/01/2011 14:16

Aaaah but Freudian, I would never start a thread ridiculing someone else's posting quirks.

JoBettany · 22/01/2011 14:21

I think the OP made it clear that this was not personal and had not associated the expression with one specific poster. I hadn't either.

figcake Fri 21-Jan-11 22:38:05
Don't know about Dee so no, not sniping - I have definitely seen others using it as I said.

FreudianSlippers · 22/01/2011 14:24

But the thing is bibbity, largely these threads aren't started by people ridiculing a single person. They don't know it's a certain person or the reasons for it. They see the word used by a couple of posters and dislike it.

We're all human and have these quirks. You see lots of threads on words/phrases we don't like (moist always gets suggested). It's not about not having anything better to worry about, it's just about a visceral reaction to language.

It's unfortunate but I can't imagine that it won't happen again because as these threads show, it's a word that a lot of people really, really don't like. It's not fair that dee has to see it or keep having this discussion but it's going to happen.

samstown · 22/01/2011 14:24

Ah I see deemented, I thought it must be something like that, just being nosey really...

bibbitybobbityhat · 22/01/2011 14:28

I think op could have engaged her brain momentarily before starting this thread.

upahill · 22/01/2011 14:29

For ages I didn't like the word 'manshape' and then someone said it Dee just liked to use it and I grew used to and didn't mind and refered to it when responding to her posts. I didn't know the reason why she used that term though. It's sad there is a back story to it's use rather than just a random term or endearment IYSWIM.

TBH I hate 'DH','DS','DD' and 'DC and all the others but I fall in with the protocol here.

JoBettany · 22/01/2011 14:33

It was quite clear the OP didn't know this was specific to one poster. She was talking about the word which she thought was in fairly general use.

It has nothing to do with the OP engaging their brain at all. I agree with what FreudianSlippers posted.

FreudianSlippers · 22/01/2011 14:34

This thread has happened at least 5 times that I've seen, all different OPs and sometimes very regular MNers. Also you see very regular MNers on here who also express an intense dislike of the term and no idea of the fact that it's predominantly one poster with valid reasons.

I tend to think if it comes up again and again with a consensus that people agree with, it's not about engaging your brain, it's sadly just the way the word strikes some people.

FreudianSlippers · 22/01/2011 14:36

X-post. Grin

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 22/01/2011 15:49

Dee - best to copy your post and save it somewhere useful - it'll save you typing it out on such a regular basis Grin

Not that you give a flying - but I like Manshape x

ThePosieParker · 22/01/2011 16:02

I like it, I like why and who invented it.

DandyLioness · 22/01/2011 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crumbletastic · 22/01/2011 16:25

How do you know who and why invented it? My friends were using it at uni 7 odd years ago and it was as bad then as it is now

GreenEyesandHam · 22/01/2011 16:46

I don't think the OP was having a go, and I think it's rude to say they 'should have engaged their brain'.

It was an opinion about a term used, that's all.

I said earlier, I use the term hubby- apparently that makes me sickly, horrible and twee. Ok, whatevs...:o

You can't get all precious about these things

Original poster
figcake · 22/01/2011 16:59

Dee - was definitely not a personal attack. As others have pointed out, you are not the only poster who uses it but are one of a few (few too many?) Sad

I don't know your story, nor do I wish to pry. However, I still hate the term, I am not sure why you are being identified as having invented it.

Re engaging MY brain, I reckon that not everyone picked up on the fact that it IS actually used by more than one poster Wink

OP posts: