It's such a difficult one. Because clearly a lot of people don't like it and this thread has been done multiple times. So it is a word that clearly offends people.
Does the intention outweigh people's dislike of a word? Does Dee saying it with utter affection mean that it doesn't matter that the word itself is quite viscerally disliked by many people? Well ordinarily I'd argue no. Because if you have a term of endearment for somebody, then the endearment is in using it to that person. It's private. As we don't share it as a term of reference, it's not our name for that person, it jars to read it. And on a shared forum, we have a shared language. We say dh, dp, oh etc because we are a community. We agree not to use text speak or to SHOUT WHEN POSTING. It makes us belong. We don't all use our own little terms (particularly when they are so unpalatable to so many).
But all that said, there are exceptions to every rule. Dee has her reasons and the majority accept them and tolerate the name. It is an extraordinary situation and one that doesn't conform I suppose to normal rules.
But while language is the powerful tool it is and MN as big as it is, people will dislike the term and they will say this on here without knowing why dee uses it.
I never, ever, ever refer to dh by his real name or as my 'husband' or 'partner'. We've been together since we were teenagers and I call him something nobody else in the world calls him, but I would never, ever use it on here as it's my name for him. And he's dh on here. 'DH' doesn't mean dear husband to me. Because 'dh' refers to a person. I just use the acronym in order to be understood on here. Because as dee is arguing, it's the intention that matters. But I understand why dp (or df now) might be hard for dee all the same.