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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get angry when school threatens to exclude DS for smoking

206 replies

Sistah · 20/01/2011 19:10

14 year old DS smokes. We have taken him to smoking cessation classes to no avail. He has been caught smoking several times on school premises and today they are threatening to exclude him, after catching him again.
Now, seriously? My feeling is that they need some perspective. They want to exclude him for smoking, they want to take him out of a normal learning environment for smoking? I think they are being totally unreasonable but they just don't see it. I get the broken record routine: "He broke a school rule". Pfft.

OP posts:
bubblewrapped · 20/01/2011 19:12
Biscuit
Notalone · 20/01/2011 19:12
Biscuit

Oooh look, my first ever biscuit!

Boooring - pls try to do better next time!

TotemPole · 20/01/2011 19:12

He's breaking the law & school rules and you think he shouldn't be excluded? Hmm

This must be a wind up surely.

coldtits · 20/01/2011 19:12

he's four years under the legal age. Cut his supply of money. He will soon run out of fags.

Bingtata · 20/01/2011 19:13

They have given him plenty of chances. Those are the rules of the school and quite frankly if that is your attitude to them then no wonder your DS sees nothing wrong in breaking them.

YABVU.

TheMonster · 20/01/2011 19:14
Biscuit
trixie123 · 20/01/2011 19:14

Are you serious?? What would you prefer them to do? Where does he get his money from to buy fags (given that they are not exactly cheap I doubt a paper round would fund much). 14 is a bit young to be resigned to the habit as unbreakable. They want to take him out of learning environment because he is indulging in and probably encouraging others to participate in a deadly and,as you acknowlege, addictive habit. yes, lets give them someone warm and dry to do it Hmm

AnyFucker · 20/01/2011 19:14
Bear
Vallhala · 20/01/2011 19:15

1/10

pippitysqueakity · 20/01/2011 19:15

Ahahahahahahahahahah, thank you needed that!!!

Tootlesmummy · 20/01/2011 19:15

Get real, he bloody well should be.

Take some parental responsibility and stop his money and deal with the situation. Pathetic.

MrsPresley · 20/01/2011 19:16

So if he's allowed to be break this school rule, then what other rules should he be allowed to break?

If it had been the first time he was caught then I woulld have said a couple of days exclusion would be punishment enough but he's been caught before so yes he should be excluded.

Where does he get the money to keep smoking?

LadyBiscuit · 20/01/2011 19:18

And whooooo are youuuuuuu? A fucking troll clearly

scurryfunge · 20/01/2011 19:20

OP, you should have ground nicorette tablets into his formula when he was a baby and you wouldn't have this problem now.

c0rn5i1k123 · 20/01/2011 19:20

once upon a time there were 3 billy goats...

samay · 20/01/2011 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PrincessScrumpy · 20/01/2011 19:23

If your son cannot follow simple rules it shows complete lack of respect for rules in general - but with a parent who doesn't get that he doesn't stand much chance does he!

He's not only breaking school rules but he's breaking the law - he shopuld be excluded to make an example of him!

Original poster
Sistah · 20/01/2011 19:24

Sheesh, nice to see the anti smoking Nazis out in force and making assumptions about my parenting skills. Your reactions lead me to suppise you're either teachers or don't have teenagers.
He had his pocket money stopped BTW. Smoking cessation classes. Groundings. Talks. Rants. Bargaining. If I didn't give a shit I wouldn't have turned to Mumsnet, would I?

OP posts:
bubblewrapped · 20/01/2011 19:25

I smoked when I was 14. When I was out of school.

When your little darling gets a job, how will he go on then having to go without a cig. He wont get playtimes then.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 20/01/2011 19:27

How is he getting cigs and where the hell are you when he's doing this?

I don't know. In my day smoking was something you did round the back of the sheds or behind the garages at the bottom of the park, and you covered yourself in prefume and chewed a pack of mints before going home.

Now it seems it's ok and to be condoned and poor little puffin' billy shouldn't have to abide by - shock horror - actual rules or anything.

My parents never supplied me with fags and cider and stuff. S'not fair.

aPixieInMyCaramelLatte · 20/01/2011 19:27

To be fair, my mum tried everything to stop me smoking at 14/15 but I carried on regardless. Nothing to do with her parenting skills.

However, to the op, your son has broke school rules more than a couple of times and if he isn't going to respect the school rules then he needs to be punished. Sorry.

scurryfunge · 20/01/2011 19:27

Your anger seems to be towards the school excluding him, as if that is unreasonable.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 20/01/2011 19:27

He had his pocket money stopped?

So he's stealing cigs then? From where?

PrincessScrumpy · 20/01/2011 19:28

Not anti smoking, anti breaking the law. I work in a school and this is standard proceedure for continued bad behaviour. I'm just stunned you don't see it as bad behaviour.

BTW I got caught trying smoking at school when I was 13. I had a week of detentions and parents called in. It was a one-off as I didn't like it anyway but I'm not naive, know what teens do, doesn't make it okay though.

If you have told him (and you may not have done) that you think the school is wrong to exclude him, you are undermining the school's authority in his eyes.

You should work with the school not against it.

Bingtata · 20/01/2011 19:28

You didn't turn to mumsnet for advice - you wanted support for being angry at the school actually.

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