to get angry when school threatens to exclude DS for smoking

[Sistah]

14 year old DS smokes. We have taken him to smoking cessation classes to no avail. He has been caught smoking several times on school premises and today they are threatening to exclude him, after catching him again.
Now, seriously? My feeling is that they need some perspective. They want to exclude him for smoking, they want to take him out of a normal learning environment for smoking? I think they are being totally unreasonable but they just don't see it. I get the broken record routine: "He broke a school rule". Pfft.

Oh im aware my 9 year old could/will turn into a swearing/smoking/misogonist monster BUT he knows if he breaks a rule dont come bleating to me as he wont get ANY sympathy here!

He already has some pretty foul moments.

I was talking to a friend who works with teenagers and she said she still uses a "naughty chair" in the youth club she runs and the boys in particular toe the line as they dont want to end up on it.

So perhaps litter picking in a high vis vest would be a more effective deterrent

Children who are starting secondary school in England (not sure where in the UK the OP is) will have to stay in education until they are 17, but that can mean training etc. Those who are already in the system can leave at 16.

I'm not saying that all teenagers who smoke are thugs - just that the type of child who smokes repeatedly on school premises, despite warnings, is probably not the type who adheres to all the other school rules, and probably the type who irritates other children who want to learn.

What you are saying doesn't tie in with the new regs, unless I am misunderstanding you. Are you saying that you believe he will have to stay on in education or training until he is 18 (providing that the OP lives in England)?

School is preparation for working life. If your work and conduct is not up to scratch you get fired. If you are a rule breaker at school you will be excluded. I would not like see pupils openly flouting the rules at my daughters school. YABVVVU.

Ah, see what you mean now. Yes, depending on his birthday he will need to stay in education (of some sort) or training until 17 or 18. He won't necessarily have to stay on at that school.

Sorry cba to read the whole thread, but just wanted to say, that I can't believe schools still think that a temporary exclusion is any kind of a threat to a teenager?! Daft. Picking up rubbish in a fluro jacket every lunchtime until the end of term would be much better :)

Ah, but that depends on the parents, doesn't it - why on earth would they let them think it's a holiday? My DCs would have such an unpleasant time that they'd never want to be excluded again.

Picking up litter in a high viz vest? Ha ha -perish the thought, that would simply 'humiliate' the little darling and would probably breach his human rights or summat. Can you imagine the outcry? Oh, and of course you're expecting the teachers to enforce the litter picking - and then what do you do when said darling tells them to "pick up the litter yourself"? Exclude them perhaps?

According to this page on the DfE website (which took me ages to find, updated on 30th November 2010,

"5. Parents of children between the ages of 5 and 16 (my italics) must ensure that their children receive suitable full­-time education and LAs are responsible for ensuring that parents carry out this duty. A child reaches compulsory school age at the beginning of the term following his or her fifth birthday. LAs must also ensure that there are sufficient school places for the children in their area and take steps to address any shortfalls."

Not sure what the Beeb was reporting but it looked like a white paper. The actual legislation takes ages to go through.

MaryZ - I agree with you too - to a degree.

I think for any rules that interupt another childs learning then definitely - I'm a bit less sure for things that don't.

I think permanent exclusion/expulsion for the children of the shitty parents who don't give an arse whether their kids break the rules or not is a great idea - make it their problem. However, I do feel sorry for the decent parents at their wits end with their kids who don't know what else to try to get them to tow the line and I don't think the permanent exclusion/expulsion helps them and I think that parents & schools should work together. The problem of course, is that you have to have (pretty much) a one rule fits all approach don't you :(

YABU. He is braking a School Rule and they have giveb him chances before.

I hope that you are a troll. You should be backing up the school. It isn't a petty rule, it is under age, unsociable, endangering his health and a bad example to others. It is quite simple, you don't smoke at school (teachers don't)and if you don't stop when asked you are excluded. He had the choice and had even had warnings. If he smoked in a cafe, train, pub, my house etc etc he would be asked to leave so why is a school different?

Sistah Thu 20-Jan-11 19:10:23
14 year old DS smokes. We have taken him to smoking cessation classes to no avail. He has been caught smoking several times on school premises and today they are threatening to exclude him, after catching him again.
Now, seriously? My feeling is that they need some perspective. They want to exclude him for smoking, they want to take him out of a normal learning environment for smoking? I think they are being totally unreasonable but they just don't see it. I get the broken record routine: "He broke a school rule". Pfft.

Forget school rules - he breaks the law - worse he gets someone to break the law and procure his fags for him.

Staff can't smoke on premises - so why do you think your precious brat is allowed to flout legislation?

Take away his money and then he couldn't smoke. I don't think that you can be trying very hard to stop him, if you don't want to stop money then keep him off the computer, take away a phone etc. I get the impression that you smoke and are not really bothered.

The people selling him the fags are breaking the law. Ask the school to prove he is the only smoking pupil that they have...

No point in asking him to stop, he won't, he is a teenager.

How can they expect him to be off school for smoking when he has his exams coming up? Thought kids couldn't miss anytime of school, especially at his age.

Crazy.

Lamorna - YOU are a troll.