To ask my 14 and 12 year old sons to help with the household chores?

[BevMidge]

It seems to me that most kids these days dont feel they should help out at home. Am I the only mum who feels guilty for putting my foot down? I have taken away their x boxes and other tech stuff to try to get them to understand. The way they leave their rooms is really not for here but I can say it is really minging !!!

YANBU - my MIL never let / made her kids do anything to help.... And made a rod for her and now my back. It's taken 5 years of training(!) for my OH to get to the stage where he does chores without being asked at home and also when we visit my parents. Still an idle b*gger when he goes back to stay with his own parents though!

Your future DILs will thank you for making them learn to contribute now.

My MIL didn't make hers do anything either. I've gone a long way to training the DH over 20 years but the SILS are still a pair of lazy, dirty buggers.

My mum didn't make me do anything either.

There was a big difference though - my mum was houseproud and organised and immaculately clean. That's what rubbed off and those are the standards I was brought up to live by.

Children should defo. Help out at home, I have five n they all help, youngest being only 3yrs old bless her, learning to take pride in your home is important for them to understand respect n help .... Simplest jobs ... I find my children feel a sense of belonging n this teaches them to work as part of a team

One 'job' keeps cropping up on this thread: clearing the table after a meal. This isn't a job, it's common courtesy, and my 9 and 10 yr old have automatically cleared up with everyone else after a meal for a longtime after an initial prompt - and their 3 yr old brother just copies!! It's very cute but long may it continue!

Other than that they do odd jobs but not much - yet. They do the dishwasher, a bit of vacuuming and tidying. But they are at school, have piano practice and strings practice, 1-2 after school clubs. If I got them to do much more they'd have no time to relax. It's getting a balance isn't it?

I started my children helping out and ideas of responsibility for their own 'chores' from toddlers. My 9 year old struggles because it wasnt done from a young age and she's naturally messy but Sat morning is chore morning no matter what. I am still hoping the 'do it straight away rather than leave it' penny will drop but alas not yet!

Training a child to be domestically (and financially) independent is one of the most loving things you can do for them.

So yes, i would agree to teach them to pitch in and appreciate a certain level of self discipline and pride.

My DS tidies his toys away after playing, puts rubbish in the bin, helps with the cooking, brings his dirty crockery into the kitchen and puts his books back on the shelf. He is 2.

This is so he won't become like his father - I taught him how to use a washing machine at the age of 28.

(Yes, I know I am being smug and as soon as he turns 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 he won't lift a finger but please grant me this little moment of pride)

(Also can't take any credit - his nanny taught him all his manners and 'tidy time')

Agree with BoffinMum.

yadnbu i have done chores since i was very young and when i left home i was fully prepared to look after myself.
Ialso went out with a lad when i was twenty one who did not know how to work the washing machine , its very hard to find a man sexy when he still needs his mummy to wash his clothes (shudders).
I have no sympathy for women who moan about having to do everything but will not let anyone else do it because its not done 'right'

My older two ( 23 & 21 )both left home knowing how to cook a couple of basic meals, use a washing machine and understand the care labels on clothes, sew on buttons and stitch a hem. My son has baby of his own now, his partner works and he minds the baby and takes care of the house very well. My Daughter ( 21 ) headed off to Uni in Sept. and was genuinely shocked that she was the only person out of 8 girls, that knew how to cook something from scratch, clean up properly and stack food in a fridge correctly.
My 4 yo DD, makes her own bed, puts her clothes in the laundry hamper, puts her clothes in her wardrobe and drawers, sets and clears the table. At her age, a lot of it is fun for her. These are important life skills that were taught to me at a young age, I was cooking meals, doing the food shopping and organising the house from the age of 12 as we were a single parent family and my mother became unwell but, most of my other friend's had their jobs to do before going out or watching TV. I don't think doing a few dishes or making a bed will have anyone's DC scuttling off to the therapists office :o

my dd is 3, so far so good with the helping around the house. She'll generally always choose to help with washing, dishes, cooking, dusting rather than play on her own while i do it.
I started her on these sorts of things as soon as she could walk. She'll now happily help chop mushrooms and other soft ingredients with a blunt knife, sort washing and load the machine and one of her all time favourite passtimes is sorting the recycling! my friend jokes that she is oliver and i run a workhouse
I just hope it lasts...

Teach your children the basics and go from there because eventually they will leave home and won't have a clue as to what to do or how to do it!! These are basic life skills people, okay, they don't have to know how to do it as well as you just so long as they all have some idea how to do it when the need arises. My daughter's best friend left home to live with her boyfriend, baby arrived, she is only 20 years old and has had to have a MASSIVE MASSIVE learning curve and quickly - she has a daughter to raise who totally depends on her when partner at work and she has found out how tough life can really be!! Teach them when they are small - even if it is like a game and just putting a pair of socks etc in the laundry baskets - it's a start!! They'll be better prepared and they'll eventually thank you for it!! Happy parenting people!!

I completely disagree with paying children to do stuff around the house, but my DSCs get paid to keep their rooms tidy at their mum's house and they generally act like it's child abuse when we ask them to do something here. Still make them do it, though; I subscribe to the idea that we are a community and should all contribute. I feel as though anything else sends out a negative message, and lets children grow up not knowing how to look after themselves.

DD clears her plates, loads/empties the washing machine, and does some (incompetent) dusting, as well as helping to tidy toys, etc. Of course, she is only three and a half and most of it is still a pleasure to her, it may become more difficult to get her to do it as time goes on...

Oh, and when she is old enough, she will be taught to cook/do ironing etc.

You all sound like marvellous parents;where are all the rubbish ones like me.I find it hard to make them do things my husband doesn't do,and I'm not having a go at my husband;he's out at work all day,the kids are in school all day,so as I'm at home I may as well do everything at home.They watched really strict parents last night,which meant I had extra big hugs at bedtime,because I think they realised how good they had it.

I am a terrible parent. Well, I try, but I come up very short.

I'm a terrible parent too. I was going to start a thread of my short-comings but i thought it would either a) worry people or b) people would think I was proud of being useless.