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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to turf out DH's family?

373 replies

squarebobspongepants · 18/01/2011 05:23

I had DD three weeks ago and DH's family are staying with us (we live abroad so they've come to see our baby and turned it into a two week holiday, grr.) This morning BIL said to me "Can you find a way to keep that baby quiet at night? It woke me up and I found it impossible to drift off again." Arsehole.

Then MIL said "Haha, you better throw those jeans out now 'cause you're never going to get your pre-baby body back." Even bigger arsehole.

And I've had MIL and SIL hanging over my shoulder 24/7 telling me I'm doing everything wrong.

After having a good cry in the bathroom I told DH that they would have to go and stay in a nearby hotel as I just can't cope with them. We have not had any time to be alone with DD because MIL is always grabbing her off me "to give her a cuddle" and then won't give her back when I ask/beg/plead. Anyway, DH says we can't possibly chuck 'em out and that I'll just have to "get over it and fast."
I just feel so sad/lonely and I really don't want to feel like that considering I have a beautiful, healthy baby.

Sorry, haha, rant over.

OP posts:

MadamDeathstare · 19/01/2011 03:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thumbdabwitch · 19/01/2011 03:30

Good God - what a knob!
Well done you for clearing your house of the plague that had infested it; shame your DH is such a cock that he has gone too.

Please focus on your DD now - give her all the attention that you have been unable to because of the Interferences. Try to ignore the situation with your "D"H - and let him contact you.

If he offers you any ultimatums, tell him where he can stick it. Tell him he comes back ALONE or not at all. If he chooses 'not at all' then I am very sorry that you married such a dickweed.:(

MadAboutQuavers · 19/01/2011 06:09

Enjoy being a mummy in peace, OP

Your "D"H has behaved like a dreadfully spoilt child. If he has anything about him he'll realise he's let you down dreadfully and come back with an apology.

LoveBeingADaddysGirl · 19/01/2011 06:15

Good for you, can't believe your dh isn't there.

My advice was going to be a very loud fuck off to them all!

MadAboutQuavers · 19/01/2011 06:24

Oh, and Piprabbit, your bitch hat can look however you want it to look. It's your bitch hat and no-one elses. That's the point.

Mine has bells on it. They're a kind of early warning signal for the foolish and unwary.

Longtalljosie · 19/01/2011 06:29

Does your DH think he's 12?

Is he back now?

Do you have mutual parent friends who can point out to him what an arse he's being?

TyraG · 19/01/2011 07:00

I only read the OP and was so incensed at your DH's comment.

Tell him to pull his head out of his ass and to send them to a hotel or you will. And if he says anything then tell him that he better get wise to the fact that YOU had a baby three weeks ago and you don't appreciate the fact that HIS family are undermining you at every turn while he stands around doing nothing about it but getting riled at you. Put your foot down and if he doesn't come round, introduce your foot to his balls.

MsKLo · 19/01/2011 07:00

I can't believe your DH is being such a prick - how awful For you and they have been all so awful to you and have shown you no respect as a first time mum who needs time with her baby without stupid, ignorant arseholes who want to get In with the baby.

I really hope you feel better and stick to your guns! What happened when you spoke to them? What dis they say? You have started sticking up for yourself so keep going and if they don't like it or respect you they can get stuffed!

TyraG · 19/01/2011 07:05

That's what I get for not reading the whole thread.

I cannot believe he left with them. What a schmuck!!! Whatever you do DO NOT call/text him and if he calls/texts don't respond. Jeez, I can't think of a word bad enough to call him, and that says something as I am NEVER at a loss for words, especially bad ones.

bronze · 19/01/2011 08:32

Hope you're ok and that you're enjoy the peace. I hope he grovels suitably when he gets back

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 19/01/2011 08:32

Sorry that it's come to this OP but I think it's needed.
This will be a turning point in your marriage one way or another. Hopefully he come back starting to understand what he's done. If not make him, do not back down over this. They & to some extent he has spoiled your first few days bonding with your baby, and his!
And as I found out with my first DH, sometimes they don't appreciate what they've got enough to keep you, but someone else will, and that's what you deserve. Don't accept 2nd best to his family, it will eat you up inside.
Enjoy your precious new baby.x

Buda · 19/01/2011 08:42

I cannot believe he went with them!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a tosser.

MoonUnitAlpha · 19/01/2011 08:44

I can't believe your DH is such a prick!

Snuggle up somewhere with your beautiful baby and enjoy your time alone :)

Unwind · 19/01/2011 08:49

I think it would have come to a head anyway. Your DH's behaviour has been awful, there is no excuse, you would have come to resent it, and it would have eaten away at your marriage.

I hope you can finally enjoy the peace with your lovely newborn.

ensure · 19/01/2011 08:50

Your DH is being a total fool. Can't believe he left!

ledkr · 19/01/2011 08:56

Have the in laws taken their stuff?Im worried that they have gone off to "punish" you and will just all come back as if nothing has happened.I should lock the doors so you have some controll over who comes into your home.What a bloody nightmare at should be such a magical time.

dinkystinky · 19/01/2011 08:58

Total and utter tossers the lot of them. Well done on telling them to be off. If they cant be supportive, they simply shouldnt be there - end of.

not1not2 · 19/01/2011 09:03

You are not being unreasonable if nothing else works tell dh to book them on a tourist excursion or take them out all day every day.

I really feel for you my MIL wont visit without moving in for ages she just loves to slag off London but can't tear herself away when she's there

Deciduousblonde · 19/01/2011 09:09

OMG!

See, this is why his family behave in this way, because idiots like him let them!!

Well done you. I'm not surprised you snapped and I am sure they are totally perplexed as to why you have done it. Because they are unthinking, selfish arseholes.

Your DH could be set to lose everything, but as he has been brought up in a certain way he will no doubt load the blame on someone else, when the blame lies firmly at his feet.

This must be incredibly upsetting for you. He should be there, but some people just can't change. Please keep us posted.

BlingLoving · 19/01/2011 09:46

Well done!

To be fair to DH, I could see a situation where he takes them out to get them out, perhaps speak in a neutral environment etc. But... if his stuff is gone and he doesn't turn up within an acceptable amount of time, with suitable apologies and a clear understanding of what happens next then, I'm with everyone else and he's a prat! Do update us when you can.

Good luck. And enjoy the quiet!

SkyBluePearl · 19/01/2011 11:26

i had this probem too. Your hubby should be speaking up for you and is a whmp to let them take over. Your bonding with babe is the mostimportant thing. Just don't let go of your baby and be really firm with MIL/SIL/BIL.

Plumm · 19/01/2011 11:29

Did they pack their bags and leave or just go outfor the day.

not1not2 · 19/01/2011 11:43

well done
your h is an arse if he has gone with them (rather than to drop them off) he should regret it for ever more

(as an aside I have been wondering whether I can visit my SIL for a cup of tea within 2 weeks of the birth of her 3rd child bearing in mind she lives an international flight away but I will be in her country for another reason I decided yes but I'm not completely sure and we get on pretty well)

SkyBluePearl · 19/01/2011 11:53

oops just read the whole post. your hubby sounds like a child - i hope he grows up soon and starts being more considerate.

Longtalljosie · 19/01/2011 17:24

Is he back yet? He must be back!

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