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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to turf out DH's family?

373 replies

squarebobspongepants · 18/01/2011 05:23

I had DD three weeks ago and DH's family are staying with us (we live abroad so they've come to see our baby and turned it into a two week holiday, grr.) This morning BIL said to me "Can you find a way to keep that baby quiet at night? It woke me up and I found it impossible to drift off again." Arsehole.

Then MIL said "Haha, you better throw those jeans out now 'cause you're never going to get your pre-baby body back." Even bigger arsehole.

And I've had MIL and SIL hanging over my shoulder 24/7 telling me I'm doing everything wrong.

After having a good cry in the bathroom I told DH that they would have to go and stay in a nearby hotel as I just can't cope with them. We have not had any time to be alone with DD because MIL is always grabbing her off me "to give her a cuddle" and then won't give her back when I ask/beg/plead. Anyway, DH says we can't possibly chuck 'em out and that I'll just have to "get over it and fast."
I just feel so sad/lonely and I really don't want to feel like that considering I have a beautiful, healthy baby.

Sorry, haha, rant over.

OP posts:
dumbo1 · 21/01/2011 10:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoattoBolivia · 21/01/2011 10:53

Oh, I agree he Is being a complete knob, I would find it very hard to forgive him, especially after his earlier comment, I just think that advising the op to make a major, possibly life changing decision, when we do not know all the details is a bit risky. She is NBU to be very, very angry with in laws and dh and to put her foot down now about any future visits.

bronze · 21/01/2011 10:56

Shock I have no suggestions but continue to hope you are ok.
I still find it hard to get my head around how some people are willing to act.

thumbdabwitch · 21/01/2011 11:02

dumbo - how bloody awfully :( for you. Can't believe how even more insensitive your ILs must have been :( Angry and more :(

3littlefrogs · 21/01/2011 11:06

Is your DH from the local culture? I ask, because I am in a mixed marriage, and culture clashes can be extremely difficult to deal with.

OP you need to be very careful about local laws. Think very hard, maybe seek legal advice, and do try to talk to your DH once the family have gone.

There were times when I would have happily walked out due to the behaviour of my in-laws. However, DH and I were able to patch things up and with a lot of hard work we are still happily married 30 years on. I am not saying you can or should do this - just passing on my experience.

Only you can decide what is best for you and your baby. I hope you can resolve this.

3littlefrogs · 21/01/2011 11:08

Have to say though, DH never behaved as badly as your DH has. Sad

dumbo1 · 21/01/2011 11:08

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thumbdabwitch · 21/01/2011 11:11

dumbo - double my last lot of emoticons and add a few more Angry. You poor love - that is pure evil, what they did to you (and still are doing??!! WTF is wrong with your DH?)
UnMNly (((hugs))) to you - I am so sad for you.

3littlefrogs · 21/01/2011 11:12

Oh Dumbo1, that is beyond awful. Sad

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 21/01/2011 11:16

Dumbo, that is abhorrent. I cannot get to grips with the fact that there are people who will stoop so low as to mentally abuse (and that's what it is) a member of their own family. I would not have been able to tolerate that, I would have had some sort of breakdown.
Huge hugs to you Dumbo. I don't know how you continue to live with their company.Sad

dumbo1 · 21/01/2011 11:16

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Ihavebeencreditcrunched · 21/01/2011 11:17

Holy crap Dumbo1.... If your DH won't support you then do you have somone else?

They sound like hell to live with...lock your doors and get them ...and their disgusting, abusive selves to hell out your lives

Ihavebeencreditcrunched · 21/01/2011 11:19

I wouldn't visit... or allow my children to be contaminated by their presence.

Put your foot down firmly...right on DH balls..he is also WAAAYY out of line and needs to buck up and grow a pair

3littlefrogs · 21/01/2011 11:20

Dumbo1. I agree, he should go and see them on his own. There is no reason you should ever go near them, and no reason why they should set foot in your house.

Your DC should be able to decide if and when they visit their grandparents. Best way for everyone.

dumbo1 · 21/01/2011 11:20

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dumbo1 · 21/01/2011 11:21

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3littlefrogs · 21/01/2011 11:23

Dumbo1 - just don't go. It will make your life much easier. Your DH can go on his own, you can enjoy a bit of peace and quiet.

dumbo1 · 21/01/2011 11:26

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Deciduousblonde · 21/01/2011 11:28

dumbo1 that really is beyond awful... :(

I simply have no words. ((hugs))

dumbo1 · 21/01/2011 11:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsPennySworth · 21/01/2011 11:33

Have only just read this thread. I don't have much to add but just wanted to say that I hope you are okay spongebob x

3littlefrogs · 21/01/2011 11:34

Dumbo1 - my dcs are very aware of the GPs' manipulative behaviour, and are very good at both recognising manipulative behaviour in other people, and avoiding it, and not allowing the GPs to get away with it. I am sure yours will too.

WelshSara · 21/01/2011 20:27

bump
Hope OP is ok.

Ihavebeencreditcrunched · 21/01/2011 21:01

SBSP how are things? any news from mum or H?
Hope you are ok

LoveBeingADaddysGirl · 22/01/2011 07:28

How are you doing squarebob?