To think American baby showers are tacky and rude

[DaraMahini]

Anybody agree with me that baby showers (which americans have) are just tacky and quite rude?

I know it is the done thing over there, but it seems to me that if you live in America, you get pregnant and all your friends and family fork out and buy everything for you, including the expensive things like cots, pushchairs and car seats.

YANBU. A baby shower is essentially a "shower me with gifts" party- very grabby. Most people will buy a present for a new baby if they want to/can afford to anyway- why push them into it?

ITs a tradition. Every culture has traditions. No need to be so darn critical of it!

The gifts are for the baby. Oh and in Belgium it is absolutely normal to have a baby gift register, why not? I buy baby gifts all the time, if it's one I'm spending a significant sum on I'd much prefer to buy something I know is actually wanted.

Writing off as tacky an aspect of a culture many posters here seem to only know from Sex And The City is tackier.

(Off topic but Hallowe'en is NOT American, we've been celebrating it in Ireland for millennia.)

Just remembered I hosted one for a friend here when she was heading back to UK to have her baby. She didn't want presents as she was a bit superstitious about it so people just brought flowers, chocolates or something little. I bought her a pack of extra safe condoms! The irony is that a year later she had a birthday dinner for me, had too much champagne and got PG so ended up with 2 under 2. She blames me.

They are fairly new to the uk and the ones i have been to you just take a litle pair of baby shoes or a pack of bibs.
My baby shower was a few weeks ago,i held it and provided food,we played games too it was lovely esp for dd1 who is 8.
I put on the invites that i didnt want gifts as i was holding a raffle for my neice who has downs and needed an adapted bike.We raised 170 pounds and i did get some nice gifts but not cots or prams.Dont have to go if you get invited.I feel the same about weddings now,no kids so need sitter,soemtimes accomodation taxis outfits ridiculous hen/stag dos and then they ask for money!!!

yes completely agree Why do we keep taking on this naff stuff from the US,totally pointless and a waste of money!

Hmm, as someone who grew up in the US... YABU and lay off.

Who is 'importing' this stuff over here? If Americans are doing it and they are happy to, leave 'em alone.

Seriously, it does sometimes feel like American culture is the one culture you can swing into with impunity. Imagine if the OP had said something like...

'In Papua New Guinea, it's customary to hold new-baby parties with gifts for the mother & child - isn't that terrible, let's hope they don't bring their foreign ways here!!'

... she'd've been flamed.

Unless British mums are inviting you to their own baby showers (which is bad form) then MYOB...

I was given a baby shower for my DS nearly 9 years ago. It was an absolutely lovely evening, given at a time when I was feeling particularly tired and a bit apprehensive.

Friends from work each brought some food and drink to be shared and a small gift that would be useful when the baby was born.

People brought things like baby wipes, vests, etc. I don't think I ever ran out of baby shampoo or sudocrem or nappy bags.

I don't think anyone spent more than £5 (at the very most). I was so surprised and touched when this was done for me and extremely grateful too.

Well said RevoltingPeasant!

OP - YABU. You don't understand it, so you call it tacky and granny.

In America, showers are about helping the mother get ready for her first baby. Gifts need not be expensive and it's a nice opportunity to see your friends and family and get some good advice and hopefully avoid horror stories.

Not sure why all things American get classed as grabby, must be too much reality TV!

MadameDeathstare, I'm dying to know where you are. You might be able to guess from my name where I'm from.

Oops grabby not granny. Sodding autocorrect.

Awful.

All this time being used to giving presents from the heart after the baby is born, to being told there is a baby present LIST I should be adhering to.

Missed a baby shower for a good friend due to a family wedding and was made to feel AWFUL by the friend who organised it. Can't begin to tell you how livid I was.

Find the whole thing forced an Americanised.

YANBU but I think bridal showers are even worse.

As it is the norm in America - I'm not sure I would go as far as to say it is tacky and rude there. It is here though. However, I do know American's who expect them for 2nd and 3rd babies...which seems more than a little odd.

oh please
if it's not part of your culture how can you possibly understand?

yet more american bashing

MadameDeathstare I'm no longer in the US, having immigrated to the UK, so get all giddy when I see other Americans on here. Also, you can back me up on this, I have to keep explaining to my British friends that as a Southern American, it's highly offensive to call me a yankee.

If you don't like it don't do it

Duhhhhhhhhhh

How you can possibly claim to have this tradition inflicted on you I can't even begin to guess

Just another excuse to bash americans

my work colleagues held a baby shower for me and I have organised some for friends. I actually think it's quite a sweet tradition to make a fuss of the expectant mother.
Nice to get the women together and pass on our wisdom (?)
Silly games, nice food.
I have suggested token gifts e.g. your favourite children's book (for a starter library) or for a second child particularly bring a dish for the freezer.
anyway, no, not tacky imo :-)

Seriously??? Don't participate if you don't want to.

Baby showers are a celebration of bringing a new life and family member into the world. It is a time full of joy filled with love and wishes for the parents to be and their new baby. Friends and family WANT to buy gifts to welcome the new life to the world.

It is appreciated greatly by parents to be AND those who attend and participate.